General Mills Is Retiring One Of The 'Magically Delicious' Marshmallow Shapes In Lucky Charms

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General Mills Retires The Yellow Hourglass Marshmallows In Lucky Charms
Buzz, Self

How low can you go?

In further proof that nothing gold can ever stay, the people behind Lucky Charms have announced that they are permanently retiring the yellow, hourglass-shaped marshmallows from their tasty candy masquerading as a nutritious breakfast cereal.

If you're a passionate devotee of this particular shape, you'd better go out and grab a box of the stuff while you still can!

"Time is running out on the hourglass. Grab a box while you still can!" 

 

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General Mills, who first started producing the cereal in 1964, to the delight of children and hippy stoners everywhere, commented on this decision saying:

“The hourglass has been a part of Lucky Charms since 2008, but as with any hourglass, its time is up."

Whoa. Hit us where it hurts why don't you, General Mills?! If they're willing to get rid of the hourglass now, what might possibly come next?

In case you didn't know, the shapes in Lucky Charms are meant to resemble the kind of good luck charms you might have worn one time or another on a charm bracelet. Alternatively, they can also be viewed as being the so-called "magically delicious" charms of the cereal's mascot, Lucky the Lepruchan who, in a deeply paranoid state, seems to think that some nefarious force (or, rather, two small children) is after his tasty and nutrient-rich breakfast food of choice.

Fun fact: Lucky Charms are a mash up cereal of sorts, developed when General Mills "challenged a team of product developers to use the available manufacturing capacity from either of General Mills' two principal cereal products — Wheaties or Cheerios — and do something unique. [A man named John] Holahan came up with the idea after a visit to the grocery store in which he decided to mix Cheerios with bits of Brach's Circus Peanuts."

 

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Over the years there have been over 40 limited edition versions of the cereal, with special shapes and colors of the marshmallows rotating in and out from time to time in order to keep the kiddos happy (and their parents buying).

That said, these eight shapes and colors were historically known as "permanent," with their special powers explained as follows:

  • Hearts — power to bring things to life
  • Shooting Stars — power to fly
  • Horseshoes — power to speed things up
  • Clovers — luck, but you will never know what kind of luck you will get
  • Blue Moons — power of invisibility
  • Rainbows — instantaneous travel from place to place
  • Balloons — power to make things float
  • Hourglass — power to control time

Apparently, friends, time is no longer to be in our hands.

Because this is an age when social media reigns supreme the announcement was made on their social media channels. In addition to this news, they revealed the hourglass will be gone sometime in the Spring of 2018, and that plans are indeed in the works to release a new marshmallow shape to replace the flavor.

Personally, I think that if they're smart they'll make tiny little pink marshmallow unicorns, because let's be real, that would be both magically adorable AND magically delicious.

Getting rid of time-honored food classics seems to be something brands are trying these days in an effort to increase their sales.

Remember when Twinkies were "discontinued"? They never actually were, of course. It was all part of a larger scheme to make them popular again. Or maybe Hostess really was on the verge of bankruptcy and the Twinkie was magically rescued by new owners. I don't know. But you know what I do know?  Either way, it totally worked!

If anyone hasn't had a bowl of Lucky Charms for a while, I bet that this announcement is going to send them out to stock up on a few boxes, maybe even more! 

Regardless, as long as Lucky Charms leaves the rainbow alone, I will not have to hunt them down in the night, and that is something we can all agree is for the best.

I'm way too pretty for jail. 

 

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Rebecca Jane Stokes is a sex, humor and lifestyle writer living in Brooklyn, New York with her cat, Batman. She hosts the sex, love, and dating advice show, Becca After Dark on YourTango's Facebook Page every Tuesday and Thursday at 10:15 pm Eastern. For more of her work, check out her Tumblr.

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