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Your guide to getting her back (for good!)
By Emily Ratay — Written on Jun 14, 2020
Breakups are hard, especially when you still have feelings for your ex.
If you keep thinking about how great it felt to have someone to come home to, to have someone to go out with, and someone to joke around with, then you might not necessarily want your ex back — you might just want someone in your life.
But if you can’t seem to fall asleep without remembering what it was like to stroke her hair or see her smile, you still love her.
It might be scary to go back to your ex, not knowing if she’s moved on or if she still thinks about you, but if you really love her, that’s a risk you should be willing to take. You never know what will happen.
But don’t worry — no matter how you feel, you aren’t going into this alone. Knowing her zodiac sign is a good starting point, but everything else is up to what you know about her.
Here's how to win her back for good, based on her zodiac sign.
Aries (March 21 - April 19)
Winning an Aries back isn’t impossible, but you do have to play your cards right. This is a vulnerable time for her, especially because she doesn’t take relationships or break ups lightly, so it’s important that you show her you’re serious.
The most important thing is to respect her needs and her space. If she tells you she needs time to think, give it to her.
But before she asks for space, she’ll want to hear why you think you should get back together, so be assertive. Don’t beat around the question, tell it to her straight: you love her and you miss her.
Not only that, remember to show her that she’s important enough to fight for.
Taurus (April 20 - May 20)
When trying to win a Taurus back, remember to use logic, not your imagination.
She doesn’t want you to romance her and pretend like your past together never happened. At the same time, walking up to her and asking her to take you back into going to work, either.
Take your time; winning Taurus back is a marathon, not a race. She’s going to stick to her guns at first, but chances are, she still thinks about you every once in a while.
When she starts to warm up to you again, treat her like a princess. Court her like it’s the first date again.
Gemini (May 21 - June 20)
Gemini probably broke up with you because she was getting bored.
So, one of the most important things to do when trying to win a Gemini back is proving to her that this time will be more fun. She needs to see that you’re not just all work and no play.
When first approaching Gemini about getting back together, be vocal. She wants to hear you say you love her and want her back. When you can say it out loud, it means you aren’t afraid to speak up.
Cancer (June 21 - July 22)
It doesn’t matter if the breakup between you and Cancer was amicable or messy — she’s going to be sad. When you want to win back a Cancer, you need to know beforehand that she’s going to try to milk this for a while.
It might be a little annoying, but it’s important to let her be selfish. When she realizes you’re there to listen to her, she’ll drop the act and really consider what you want.
Most importantly, be honest with her and use sincere words; don’t put on a show or get too sappy. She wants you to come from the heart, rather than use words you learned from a romantic comedy.
Leo (July 23 - August 22)
Leo believes that every apology should come with a “kiss and make up” gift. But even if you come to a Leo to try to win her back with flattering comments about how good she looks and some expensive chocolates, you need to remind yourself why you’re really there.
She won’t say no to gifts, but if she thinks you’re just buttering her up before begging her to come back, she’ll just roll her eyes and tell you goodbye.
Winning her back is going to be a little hard, but it's doable. It might not seem like it at times, but Leo wants love and affection just like everyone else.
Let her know that she’s still in charge. Just because you’re willing to work hard to keep her doesn’t mean she has to say yes, right?
Virgo (August 23 - September 22)
When trying to win a Virgo back, you have to be prepared to break through her hard outer shell.
She might still have feelings for you, or she might even want your back, but she sure isn’t going to be the first to admit it. To do this, you need to stay logical and be calm. She will not react positively to crying or an expression of any kind of your emotions.
The biggest thing for Virgo is showing her that you can commit to things outside of your relationship with her. Tell her you want to perfect your relationship with her, and she’ll like that you want to make a continuing effort.
Libra (September 23 - October 22)
Libra wants a big love, so when she breaks off a relationship, there’s a very good chance she has weighed the pros and cons and made up her mind about you.
If you want to win back a Libra, you need to put in a lot of effort. Firstly, you need to show that you respect her as a person. She wants to be seen as an individual and not just an extension of you.
Don’t be reluctant to tell her you want her back (and why), either. If she can be strong, you should be, too. Be honest and show her she’s worth the effort to win her back.
Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)
Winning a Scorpio back is going to be very hard, but if you love her, it’ll be worth the effort.
Before anything else, be honest and upfront with her. Nothing turns a Scorpio off more than not getting to the point and generally just wasting her time.
Yes, she wants passion and intensity from you, but only after you kiss and make up. Be reasonable with your argument, too; there’s no reason to get cheesy or emotional with her.
What makes her so tough to crack is that there was probably a very good reason for her to break it off in the first place. So, when you come back to her looking for forgiveness, you really need to prove that you’re not just full of it.
Sagittarius (November 22 - December 19)
Confronting the past is a difficult thing for Sagittarius to do, so when trying to win her back, be prepared for a totally new person.
She doesn’t hold grudges and doesn’t like starting drama about things that have already happened. Chances are, your breakup was an open-and-shut case.
If you want to win a Sagittarius back, you need to be willing to leave the past in the past and start from the beginning with her. Defend yourself and the relationship, but don’t get defensive.
Capricorn (December 20 - January 19)
Winning back a Capricorn is all about using your brain, not your heart.
When you first approach her, it’s important to be logical and calm. Capricorn almost never responds well to emotions, so trying to win her over by crying will only push her away.
You also want to be practical in how you explain why you want her back and, above all else, respect what she says. She’ll be one of the tougher signs to crack, but asking for forgiveness definitely helps.
Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)
To win back an Aquarius, you need to come to her with a totally open mind and heart. She knows relationships are hard, so she’s more than happy to give you a second chance, as long as you show her you deserve one.
At this early stage, while she’s still trying to figure out what she wants to do, it’s important to focus on verbal communication, no hugs or kisses just yet. Be honest about your past and future with her.
Once you tell her you want her back, remember to give Aquarius as much time and space as she needs, but don’t ghost her. Let her take control and come to you when she’s ready, but check in every once in a while so she knows you’re serious about her.
Pisces (February 19 - March 20)
You might think that Pisces is putty in your hand, and that you can ask to take her back a million times and she’ll always say yes, but that’s not the case. Pisces loves to love, but she hates being hurt more than anything.
And if you hurt her, she will never take you back. But it isn’t impossible to win a Pisces back, as long as you really want her, not just what you used to have together.
To get Pisces to really listen to you, listen to her. She’ll most likely want to open up about the emotions she’s feelings now, as well as what she was feeling when you first broke up.
It’s also important for you to talk about your own feelings — this is a two-way conversation, after all. If she’s receptive, throwing in a little romance doesn’t hurt.
Emily Ratay is a full-time writer living in Pittsburgh. She's passionate about the environment, astrology, and feminism, and plans to write a non-fiction book in the future.