How To Have The Best Sex Ever — Even When You Have To Schedule It

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Great Sex Tips For Men And Women To Have The Best Scheduled Sex Ever

Keep it hot!

Let’s be real. In real life, there isn't always time available for having the best sex ever and sometimes the stresses of life can infringe on any sexy feelings you have at all. This happens when you get weighed down by things like a busy schedule, a full-time job, and kids. This happens when you’re not seeing each other every moment of every day. This happens when the excitement of moving in together wanes and real life sets in. Real life doesn’t wait and that can be a downer for any couple’s sex life, no matter how many sex tips you each bone up on.  

So what’s the solution?

Some couples stop having sex altogether (can you say “sayonara relationship“?). Other couples cheat because sex in some kind of fantasy-affair world seems hotter than sex with their equally hot partner.

But most of us? We schedule sex. 

RELATED: My Husband And I Schedule Sex With Each Other And It's Basically Life-Changing Magic 

To be perfectly honest, the idea of scheduling sex does not seem sexy at all. And why should it?

Before you thought about scheduling sex, you were plotting secret ways to show up at your partner’s office in a trench coat and lingerie or sending sexy texts or having sex in the airport bathroom when they picked you up because you just couldn’t keep your hands off one another. That sex was spontaneous and exciting. Scheduled sex, on the other hand, seems anything but.

For the longest time, my fiancé and I were under the impression that if we scheduled sex that meant there was something wrong with us, and, worse, something wrong with our sex life. Legitimately, there are ways you can screw up scheduled sex.

Let’s discuss some sex tips regarding the things to avoid before we talk about how to have the best sex ever.

What NOT To Do

1. Go into it with a negative mindset. 

If you’re going to schedule, then you have to go in with a mindset that’s not immediately like, “Oh my God, I’m turning into my parents.” Be open to trying it out for a set amount of time.

2. Force it. 

Here’s the thing about real life and scheduling sex: the schedule is there as a guideline. No sex is sexy if it is forced. If you’ve had a terrible day or are getting home at 9 pm because you’re on some kind of deadline, take a rain check.

3. Have sex the same way every time. 

Just because you’ve made an oath to try to have sex on certain days or at certain times of the week does not mean you’ve relegated yourself to missionary sex in your bed every. single. time. Please don’t do that. For everyone’s sake, try something new.

4. Feel like your sex life is doomed. 

By scheduling sex, you’re admitting that your life is busy. You’re also dedicating yourself to spending time with one another and communicating that your sex life is important to both of you. You both want it; your sex life is not doomed.

5. Avoid unscheduled sex. 

Another trap to avoid is feeling like once you start scheduling sex, it ALWAYS has to be scheduled. If you suddenly have the opportunity and desire to have spontaneous sex on one of your non-scheduled days, no one is stopping you. Have as much sex as you want! 

RELATED: Yes, Sometimes You NEED To Schedule Sex, But Here’s How It Can Still Be Awesome 

Now you know what to avoid if you schedule sex, but what about ways to make it sexy? After all, we don’t want to give up sexiness for frequency!

What TO Do

1. Get excited. 

Scheduling sex can be exciting because it gives you an opportunity to look forward to something. However, don’t stop at just setting the date: Get ready for it! To up the excitement, send each other sexts, read some erotica, and fantasize about the kind of sex you want to have.

2. Communicate your desires. 

Make sure to communicate with one another about the type of sex you want to try. In the same way you talk about your weekly date night, talk about your sex date(s)!

3. Let your definition of sex be fluid. 

There's more than one way to skin this particular cat, so don’t feel pressure to have penetrative sex if you’re not feeling up to it. Why not exchange oral or hell, even try anal! If you’re not even feeling up for that, then perhaps a steamy make-out session is in order.

Ultimately, see scheduling sex as a way you’re both devoting time to your relationship even though so many other things in life are vying for your attention.

The key to good sex and a good relationship is that you’re not taking either of them for granted. You may just find that making sex dates gives you both an opportunity to plan out the sexual activities you’ve always wanted to try but have never gotten around to.

Happy Sexing! 

RELATED: The Secret To Mind-Blowing Scheduled Sex (Yes ... SCHEDULED Sex!) 

This article was originally published at Slutty Girl Problems. Reprinted with permission from the author.