9 Honest Men Reveal Their Biggest, WEIRDEST Sexual Anxieties

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sexual anxiety

"I worry that I'll smell/taste funny. Not like clown funny, but bad funny."

Getting close to someone is scary. Now, we are talking emotionally, too, but sex itself is pretty nerve-wracking. Whether it's someone you've known for a week or a year, suddenly they are literally connected with you. You are naked, sex faces are happening, followed by heavy breathing, god-willing an orgasm or three.

We will have a lot of sexual anxiety in bed. Whether it's performance, stamina, or basic setting — Is the door locked? Is your phone set to silent? — there's a lot to worry about and think about before sex.

Recently, we covered what makes women nervous before getting down with it in the bedroom. This time, we asked men about their biggest sexual anxiety and boy, did they have a lot to say. They fear ruining the moment or not pleasing us, of course. But beyond that, it gets super-complicated...

1. Am I doing well enough?

"Well, this all depends on where I am and who I'm with. There's the usual one: random performance anxiety with a new person. If you're not immediately post-shower: did I miss anything from the last time I went to the bathroom, am I going to fall asleep without an alarm set and miss work, when/where should I finish? If it's someone new, you're asking yourself, am I sure she came or was that just a small build-up?"

2. Why am I already so anxious?

"If you're about to do one of the most intimate things you can do with someone, how much anxiety do you really need to bring into the situation that's not already there?"

3. Is the door locked?


"My biggest sexual anxiety is having my kid walk in on us having sex. Because that happened and it was awful. We're not 100 percent sure what she saw, but she saw too much. It was her Vietnam. After she asked us a bunch of questions and spent 5 minutes doing a spot-on impression of the noises her mom was making, we decided as a family to never talk about it again. But that fear... it's never going away."

4. Is she faking it?

"Coming from a theater background, I always assume the woman is faking. And when you do, one starts second-guessing what one is doing and maybe doing things that she really doesn't like. And then if she wasn't faking before maybe she's faking now. And then... well, that makes it hard to perform at all. Really. Quite. 

5. Do I smell OK?

"I worry that I'll smell/taste funny. Not like clown funny, but bad funny."

6. Am I going to pass out from running out of breath?


"Hyperventilating is not conducive to ejaculation."

7. Am I taking too long?

"Having her ask 'how much longer?' in the middle of a blowjob is sure to give any guy anxiety."

8. Is she disappointed with my penis?

"Having a limp penis when she may be licking or stroking it and seeing her disappointed reaction that maybe she is doing something wrong when it can just be from being tired or not in the moment? That's my worst fear."

9. Does my semen taste OK?


"Attempting to try something new in the bedroom — a new toy like a vibrator or nipple clamps — and seeing an uninterested reaction. Not knowing you are going to have sex and you've been eating a lot of meat and spicy foods and she performs oral sex... and then she wonders if you cum in her mouth that the cum will not be as tasty. It worries me."