Why Do People Trust Sex Sites With Their Personal Information?

Photo: Unsplash
Adult Friend Finder Ashley Madison hack
Buzz, Sex

Think long and hard before you open that account.

I like sex. I do. And I like how the internet has made certain aspects of sex so much easier.

It can help you answer questions about sex, it can suggest new and exciting things you can try during sex, and, of course, when it comes to masturbation, the internet has been downright revolutionary. Never in my wildest dreams, back when I was a frustrated 13-year-old, did I ever imagine the breadth and depth of pornography that I’d have access to at a moment’s notice.

I firmly believe that the internet has been a virtual godsend when it comes to sex and self-pleasure, but, dear lord, that doesn’t mean I trust it.

I bring this up because I just read that yet another internet sex/dating site has been hacked. Adult Friend Finder, a site that bills itself as “world's largest sex and swinger community,” has been hacked… AGAIN.

It got hacked back in 2015 — the same year as the major Ashley Madison hack — exposing the deepest, darkest sexual preferences (and real names) of millions of users, and, just this week, a hacker posted on Twitter that he found potentially major vulnerabilities on the site and has threatened to “f***king leak everything.” That could reveal the personal sexual peccadillos of the site’s over 73 MILLION users.

That’s insane. And, I’ll admit, it feels so unnecessary.

Because, personally, I can’t understand why anyone would ever trust an internet sex site with their private information.

Isn’t there enough sex on the internet for free?


There is SO much free pornography, there are so many ways to connect with like-minded people via established social media channels, and browsers have gotten smarter and smarter about enabling “private browsing.” Isn’t that enough?

I get it. We get horny, we’re alone, we make some bad decisions. But it just seems so foolhardy to me to go to a website that’s completely based around your most private, secretive desires and give them your full name, credit card number, and the street you grew up on. Doesn’t that just feel like tempting fate?

Are those sites really offering anything you couldn’t find for free after a few searches?


I realize that there’s a certain hypocrisy when it comes to harping on the vulnerabilities of sex sites and not other sites. I’ve given Facebook access to a staggering amount of my personal information over the years, and I still shop at Target (with credit cards) after their own hacks. So what’s different with sites like Adult Friend Finder or Ashley Madison?

For me, I think, it’s because I still see sex as a private thing. It’s something I like to keep separate from the rest of my personal life. And I don’t think that makes me a prude. (I don’t.) I just think it makes the sex… frankly, sexier.

I like the idea of sex existing behind closed, locked doors. And that might be the intent of these sex sites, but, again and again, they’ve proven that they can’t keep their doors locked.

What’s worse is — because they flaunt the fact that “hey, people are getting FREAKY behind THIS door RIGHT HERE,” it makes them a huge target for hackers and people who love exposing security flaws.

If you have an account on Facebook and an account on Adult Friend Finder, even if you have WAY more personal info stored on Facebook, I think hackers would target your AFF account anyway because it’s just a more attractive target. It sounds like what you’re hiding on that account will be so much juicier, so much more shocking, so much more embarrassing.

So… yeah. I don’t get it. I don’t get why millions and millions of people are so incredibly trusting when it comes to tying their personal lives to their private sexual desires on these websites that keep getting hacked.

Maybe I’m the problem. Maybe I just don’t understand what these sites are offering that make the implied risks worth it.


Is paid-for pornography that much better than the stuff I can find for free? Are the subscription sex personals that much more targeted and effective than anything I could find on Tinder or a dating site with a better security reputation?

I love that the internet allows people to explore their personal sexual identities in a way that we never could’ve imagined 30 years ago, but if I’m going to trust it with my most private sexual fantasies, I think it’s fair to expect a certain level of discretion in return.

And it can’t provide it, I’ll just stick to the free stuff, thank you.