You Don't Always Get The Guy You Want — You Get The Guy You NEED

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Everything always works out.

It’s good to know what you want, especially when it comes to love and relationships.

Being clear and honest about your ideal situation can avoid a lot of miscommunication. And while I’m always preaching about honesty in dating, it’s just as important to be open to anything. 

Control and letting go go hand in hand. To succeed in love — and ultimately get what you want — you have to have both. 

I know, now I’m the douchebag sending mixed messages. But to me, control me setting boundaries that you keep roughly 80 percent of the time. These boundaries are set mainly to keep you from falling for a guy who isn’t into you or only into one thing (a.k.a. the booty).

In order to keep the fuck boys away, but also be available to get swept up by something real, you also have to let go of control. You can’t be so rigid and strong in what you want that keeps you from what's best for you. 

In other words, you have to be open and ready for anything. 


Let’s say, for instance, that your dream guy wish list includes things like the following: 

  • Good steady job
  • Owns a house
  • Car I’m not embarrassed to ride in 
  • Is not afraid to be romantic 
  • Nice to my girl friends (but not too nice) 
  • Loves me unconditionally without question
  • Six pack 

Sure, on the outside it all sounds great, but what if you meet a guy who really click with and has a great job, but is maybe on the chunkier side? Or maybe he is super romantic but drives beat-up old sedan. Are you just gonna wave him off because he doesn’t meet every item on your list? 

God I hope not. 

My wish list for you is that you have a (much smaller) list of non-negotiables. Things that you do not want in a man because they either conflict with your values or will make you very unhappy. Things like smoking cigarettes or not sharing your sense of humor.

Things that are big no-nos. 


To me, it’s more important to know what you don’t want — and keep yourself far away from it — than it is to know what you do want.

Life is an adventure and getting to know people is half the fun.

Everyone comes with quirks and kinks that you may have never expected to like, but once you met this person it became your favorite thing about them. 

Keep your boundaries realistic (and not completely superficial), and be open to love in whatever form it comes to you. 

That my friends, is the only way you win.