Stop Calling Him An 'Asshole' Just Because He Doesn't Like You

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Love, Heartbreak

It's kind of a double standard yo.

Dating can be a real bitch. 

While there are a few unicorn couples who meet and instantly fall in love, for most of us, dating is kind of like a carousel of different levels of rejection.

We get stood up on Tinder dates, fall for people who have secret girlfriends and go through so many god-awful experiences that we sincerely question if it's ever worth it. 

Modern love can make a person very, very bitter.

And while it's understandable, it's not excuse for acting like a total jerk when you get rejected. 

We're all just people trying to find our person. None of us really know what we're doing or what we want, but we're putting in effort to figure it out.

And sometimes, that effort means rejecting perfectly nice people who totally didn't see it coming. 


As a woman, I've had plenty of moments where I was an avid man-hater, all for reasons many of us can relate to. I've bashed ex-boyfriends and guys I met five minutes ago. I've called them jerks, assholes and in once drunken instance, scum. 

And while my feelings were sometimes justified, my shit-talking was really unnecessary. 

I think we can all agree that this is hard. Finding someone you click with and can introduce to your parents and who won't hate you for working 60 hours a week is seemingly impossible.

We're all trying our best and sometimes it just doesn't work out. 

If you hang out with a guy who eventually goes MIA, he isn't a jerk. He's just a person trying to do the same thing that you are and realizing sooner than you that it wasn't right.

Maybe he's not over his ex, or he's about to move across the country for work or maybe, just maybe, you guys didn't connect like you thought you did. 

The reason really doesn't matter.

He's not trying to pursue you, and you need to let it go. Don't dwell over the date or tell your friends how he's probably gay (come on, really??). Don't get pissy and act like a turd if you run into him.


Chances are, he already feels bad for ghosting you. It's probably happened to him, and he knows how it feels. Just like you might have done, he probably thought it would be better to stop talking now than to lead you on and have to physically reject you later. 

We're all just humans trying to find love.

The guy who doesn't call isn't a jerk, and you need to cut him some slack.