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What To Expect From The Christian Version Of '50 Shades of Grey'

Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson as Christian Grey and Ana Steele in the '50 Shades Of Grey' ('Fifty Shades Of Grey') movie

A Christian alternative to '50 Shades Of Grey' is coming out the same day. Here's what to expect.

Interested in seeing 50 Shades of Grey, but worried that it might be too sexy for your tastes? Well, don't worry! E! Online reports that the same people that brought us God's Not Dead and Heaven is for Real are making their own, family friendly version of Fifty Shades Of Grey to be released on the same day!

You might be asking yourself "Wait, 50 Shades of Grey is basically just porn, so a family friendly version would just be a super bland story, right?" Which is true, and that's exactly how studios expect Christians to like their entertainment!

Here are some of the steamiest moments from the painful 50 Shades Of Grey movie trailer — and how Christian Grey and Co. will probably differ from the Christian alternative to flick, appropriately dubbed Old Fashioned.

The Christian version will also have dancing scenes, but they won't forget to leave room for Jesus
Ana Steele and Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - Tumblr

Ana Steele and Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - Tumblr

He's just taking that shirt off only to put on a thicker shirt It gets chilly at night, and he wouldn't want to catch a cold!
Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - PopSugar

Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - PopSugar

Sometimes people wear masks like that when they want to take a nap Naps are fine, as long as you pray before hand.
Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - PopSugar

Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - PopSugar

Ok, while this may seem super sensual, in the Christian version she's actually fully clothed and he's just tickling her feet
Ana Steele in '50 Shades of Grey' - PopSugar

Ana Steele in '50 Shades of Grey' - PopSugar

The Christian version of Grey will be hard of hearing, so sometimes he has to stand really close to people to hear what they're saying
Ana Steele and Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - Giphy

Ana Steele and Christian Grey in '50 Shades Of Grey' - Giphy

Or just, you know, regular acrobatics Many Christians enjoy going to go to the circus on a date or something.
Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson - Tumblr

Jamie Dornan and Dakota Johnson - Tumblr

This is where he keeps his collection of Bibles You can never have too many Bibles!
Christian Grey opening his playroom - Giphy

Christian Grey opening his playroom - Giphy

Okay, so instead of stuff like this, imagine them playing board games and holding hands!
Christian Grey and Ana Steele in '50 Shades of Grey' - Giphy

Christian Grey and Ana Steele in '50 Shades of Grey' - Giphy

Just remember, there's no ring on that finger, so no hanky panky!
Christian Grey in '50 Shades of Grey'

Christian Grey in '50 Shades of Grey'

See, Christians can get steamy too!
Ana Steele and Christian Grey in '50 Shades of Grey'

Ana Steele and Christian Grey in '50 Shades of Grey'

 

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