Hey, Mila Kunis — Nonstop Sex Is No Way To Tame A Kutcher

Mila Kunis reportedly tamed Ashton Kutcher by having sex constantly. That's not the best idea.

The secret to Ashton Kutcher and Mila Kunis' happy home life is apparently nonstop sex. In order to tame the notorious wild boy, Mila has been keeping him loyal with constant hanky panky. Now, instead of going out and getting in trouble, Kutcher stays in and loyal to Kunis.

A source told Radar Online, "They have non-stop sex! Mila is insatiable in bed and they cannot get enough of each other."

It's not a great plan, because you can't really have nonstop sex. You can have a lot of sex, but not nonstop sex. You have to live your life. At some point, you're going to get hungry, or sleepy, or it will be your dad's birthday. Something's going to come up, and you'll have to stop having sex. Then your sex-crazed boyfriend will escape, all because you had to go to the dentist.

A better plan would be to find someone that you don't have to tame. That way, you don't have to figure out a sexy way to brush your teeth. You can just be yourself. Also, anytime a woman thinks that she's tamed her man, it usually just means he's still exactly the way he was before he met her. He just doesn't act that way around her.

Now that Kunis is pregnant, things are going to change anyway. Once a baby comes around, the idea of nonstop sex just becomes laughable. It's a whole new challenge to try and act sexy while a tiny person is in the house crying and pooping. Which, I don't know if the couple is aware of this, that's all babies do.

Hopefully, things will work out for the power couple. However, if Kunis thinks Kutcher is truly tamed, she better hope she's right. For all she knows, Kutcher is just planning the most elaborate episode of Punk'd ever. She's gonna catch him cheating, and he's just going to put on that old trucker hat and be like "You've been Punk'd!" Then he'll high five a camera man and walk out of her life forever.