Bride Sends Wedding ‘Contribution Form' Instead Of Invites Asking For Help Paying For The Event
Is a simple gift not enough anymore?
Nicoleta Ionescu | Shutterstock Love is priceless. Weddings, on the other hand, often come with a hefty price tag, and one bride is being called out for asking guests to complete a wedding contribution form to help fund her big day.
Lots of couples believe it's worth it to shell out the money for their special day, and some even go as far as to take out a loan to make their vision a reality. With the average wedding in 2024 reaching nearly $33,000 according to wedding planning website Zola, it's getting harder and harder to afford a dream wedding in this economy. One bride likely realized this and turned to her guests to provide financial support for her wedding. Unfortunately, it wasn't exactly well-received.
A woman decided to skip her cousin's wedding after being asked to contribute money for the occasion.
It's a classic "bridezilla" tale. A woman shared on Reddit that she received a "wedding contribution form" for her cousin's upcoming wedding, which asked guests (particularly family) to help cover the costs of the wedding. This might not sound so bad, but apparently, the cousin listed a minimum payment amount on the form, and the amount was higher depending on how close the guest was to the family.
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The woman said she was expected to pay $300 just to be invited to the wedding. As a broke, 19-year-old college student, she reached out to her cousin. She wrote, "I told her I loved her but couldn’t afford it, and maybe she should scale things down instead." As expected, she didn't take this well, and proceeded to block the woman and "told our family that I was 'jealous' and 'trying to ruin her big day.'"
She eventually did receive an invitation in the mail, but it was accompanied by a note saying she shouldn't come if she wasn't going to pay. So, obviously, the woman didn't go, but she's not sure how to feel about it.
The woman said she felt bad for missing her cousin's big day, but the wedding turned out to be a disaster.
The woman shared that she later found out, "People were mad about the seating, some vendors didn’t show up, and there was drama about the food being cheap despite the 'entry fee.' One of her friends even caused a huge scene about the money and got kicked out." Her aunt is even trying to blame her, accusing the woman of "cursing" the wedding by not going.
Commenters on the Reddit post assured her that she wasn't in the wrong for skipping the event. Many agreed that demanding a financial contribution from guests is tacky, and they shouldn't be expected to pay anything just for attending.
Others pointed out that the actions of these family members were toxic, especially knowing that the woman likely has a very limited income as a student. One commenter wrote, "If someone throws a party they can't pay for and expects others to foot the bill, that's not hosting, it's freeloading in a fancy dress. [Original poster] made the mature choice not to go into debt for someone else's event."
It's definitely acceptable to ask for money as a wedding gift, but there are more mindful ways to do it.
Asking for a financial contribution instead of traditional wedding gifts isn't uncommon, but the key word is asking. People give wedding gifts to celebrate the couple's love and to show affection and support. It's a gesture of kindness, and it is possible to ask for money in a tactful and polite way.
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Personal finance expert Farnoosh Torabi told wedding planning service The Knot, "Cash gifts are a great vehicle for saving up for big wants, like a home purchase, vacation, starting a family, or funding your favorite charity. There's no better way to start your marriage than with a clean financial slate."
Traditional wedding etiquette says not to put your requests directly on your invitations, but it's perfectly fine to include a separate card with additional details or list your gift requests on a wedding website. You can start a cash fund on your wedding registry, or even list specific gift cards if you'd rather not ask for money directly.
This woman likely wouldn't have minded contributing some money to the couple-to-be if they had been a bit more mindful and considerate about how they asked for it. People shouldn't feel like there are expectations or strings attached to attending your wedding, but rather that you care more about having them there to celebrate this special milestone in your life.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
