Bachelor Pad Episode 2: Easy Targets

Bachelor Pad Target
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Last night's show started out with "High-Pitched Kasey" vowing to kick Jake to the curb. Will he succeed? Ask again in two hours. 'Bachelor Pad 2' Premiere: Jake and Vienna's Shocking Reunion

But first—a challenge! Aptly called "Target On Your Back," each lady was asked a question, which they got to answer via throwing a paint-filled egg at a dude. Chris Harrison threw out hard-hitting questions like: "Who do you want to see go home this week?" You can guess who got pelted with that answer. (Here's a hint: It was Jake.)

Then it was the girls' turn to get egged by the guys. Again, Chris asked toughies like, "Which girl is most likely to cheat?" Kasey, claiming to be a world champ baseball player, missed his target. Jake hit his. It was Vienna.

When the guys were asked which lady is the least attractive, Erica got the brunt of the hits. Ouch. The girls felt super bad that Erica is so ugly, outside and in. (I only say this because Erica was quick to tell the camera that Bella is "way bigger" than she is, so she just couldn't understand why the boys took aim at her.) 8 Reasons To Hate The Bachelorette

Melissa and Mike walked away as winners, nabbing immunity and a date. Mike chose Erica, Michelle and his ex-fiancé, Holly to join him. Little did he know, his date would take place at an abandoned hospital. Sexy!

It was a lame date. Michelle asked questions. Michael cried. Holly cried. Michael gave Holly the rose. End of date.

The next night was Melissa's date. She picked Blake, Kirk and Kasey. Although she promised Kasey the rose in exchange for her safety, Blake told the camera that—while he thinks Melissa is a pig—he'd still make out with her to win a rose. Guess what? He got a rose. 

Meanwhile, Jake asked to talk to Vienna. She said, 'Not without my man here.' So later, Kasey and Vienna sat down and let Jake plead his case, and he told the evil power couple all the reasons he deserved to be there—like how he'll donate his money to charity! Vienna called BS on that one. Kasey, sitting there like he's "The Godfather," acted like he has a better reason to be there than Jake. What a gross, awkward scene. Vienna is a horrible human being. Kasey is a high-pitched devil. The cool part about this exchange is that all the other cast members heard Kasey and Vienna acting like total a-holes. But was it enough to vote them off? Ask again in 30 minutes.

Then, Chris came in and told the cast that tonight...the guys are safe! Instead of one guy and one girl—two girls are going home! Vienna darn near lost her mind. She threatened to leave the show and tried to get the house to turn on the producers because they're "cheating." It didn't work.

The house then scrambled to decide which two girls to vote off. The obvious choice was Vienna, because she's awful, but no one even mentioned her name. Gia made it easy on everyone. She just couldn't take it anymore and decided to walk out. Then, for no reason, the house voted off Jackie.

Then, in one of the sweetest moves ever, Ames ran to his sweetheart and hopped in the limo with her. Who needs $250,000 when you have true love?

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The show ended with that masked weirdo sneaking into the house and making an omelet. This show is just awful. I hope this blog entices you just enough to stay away from it.