9 Ways To Flirt With A Guy (But In A Sneaky, Subtle Way)

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How To Flirt With A Guy And Make Him Want You Without Looking Desperate

Sometimes, us guys have a hard time picking up on the fact that you're flirting.

Sure, we all know that business about basic body language, like you touching your hair when we're talking and you leaning forward and touching a chest (his or yours) when you giggle. But those "sure-fire signs" can also be interpreted as wrestling with a bad hair day or a case of laughter-induced vertigo.

If you really want to know how to flirt with a guy in a way that will let him know you're interested, the best thing to do is find middle ground.

RELATED: 5 Secrets Nobody Tells You About Winning (And Keeping) A Man's Heart

Here are nine low-key ways to flirt with a guy that are sure to get his attention — and let him know he has yours.

1. Increase physical contact.

A hand to butt move is a little tacky; instead, go for an extra long hug, a kiss hello or goodbye, or an opportunity for a lap-sit.

Breaking the force field is a great start, and if you've rubbed your feet on some fuzzy carpet first and there's a literal shock when you touch him, well, bully for you.

2. Buy him a drink.

Regardless of what the last several decades have done in terms of earning parity and gender role flip-flopping, we always recall when a lady buys us a brewski.

3. Compliment his appearance.

If you can throw in a reasonable and flattering celebrity comparison, that's so much better.

4. Groom him.

If his collar is messy, he has unintentional fly-aways, or he's rocking a frat tuck (a maneuver in which only the front of a man's shirt is tucked in, oftentimes exposing an interesting belt buckle or emphasizing the crotch region) in a clearly no frat tuck milieu, hook him up.

It's not selfish to increase his attractiveness; it merely improves physical contact and is a way to let him know you're interested.

RELATED: 5 Must-Know Flirting Techniques No Man Can Resist

5. Establish an inside joke.

It doesn't have to be a real inside joke; it can be flashing Blue Steel or some other Wes Anderson silliness. A little bit of us-against-them draws people closer (please do not use any of these tips for demagoguery).

6. Ask him about his wheelhouse.

Everyone feels good about slamming home answers in their areas of expertise. Throwing in a bit of fawning over the depth and breadth of his knowledge is pretty slick, too — maybe even with a lean forward, hand-to-the-chest maneuver.

7. Take plenty of photographs featuring both of you.

This may be your instinct. Go with it and post those photos where applicable. Have someone else hold the camera and do the hand-over-the-iPhone-close-together picture.

8. Try a little dancing.

Sure, grinding on the dance floor may not be your style, but you don't have to dagger to trigger a light bulb of attraction in his mind.

9. Talk closely and privately.

A little bit of loud music is a good reason to sit very close and chat. Boisterous goings-on are a great excuse to take a step into an adjoining room... alone.

If all else fails (you're probably dealing with a fellow who is obtuse, uninterested or both), ramp up the physical contact. Do not attempt to knot a cherry stem in your mouth, and only write an explicit note on a cocktail napkin if you're prepared for his friends to see it.​

RELATED: 10 Things That Make Men Catch Major Feelings For You

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Tom Miller is a writer and performer based in New York. He's been the general manager and coordinating video producer at YourTango for 12 years. His side-chick is acting and improvised comedy.