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The thirst is real.
By Samantha Maffucci — Last updated on Jan 19, 2023
We've all experienced failure when it comes to love.
You know that one time when there was no chemistry, one or both of you broke the other's trust, or it just didn't work out for some reason. Maybe it never developed into a full-fledged relationship and you just dated casually until, well, you no were no longer dating at all.
After things ended, you eventually moved on and got over it ... because that's what emotionally mature and healthy people do.
Unfortunately, some people have trouble with this part of breaking it off.
The usual steps? You go on dates, get to know each other, and then choose to either continue dating and start a relationship or to calmly end things in a peaceful manner.
But some people get stuck because they misconstrue signals, improperly gauge the true level of connection/chemistry with the other person — and desperately attempt to hold on to them for death life no matter what.
If you exhibit any of these nine behaviors, please seek help immediately by checking yourself — right into a therapy session. Desperate isn't a good look on anyone, honey.
Here are nine signs of a desperate woman who's trying way too hard to find love with not just "the one," but with anyone.
1. You settle immediately.
Anyone will do. Anyone. This includes the guy wearing a sweater in July, the one who never showers, the man who constantly interrupts you, or the well-known drug addict you just ran into in your neighborhood.
If everyone is good enough for you, you clearly have no standards. Work on that.
2. You constantly check your dating apps.
If you're trying to meet someone online, it's always refreshing, refresh, refresh. The refresh button is your best friend. It's like looking in the fridge for food — you know there's nothing there, but you keep opening it in the hope something appealing will suddenly appear.
Even when you match with someone and get a message or reply from them, you jump down their throat with a barrage of way too intimate questions. Get to know the person first, jeesh.
3. You have no concept of proper communication etiquette.
He says he'll call you, but then a day passes with no word from him. No biggie, right? You'll just call him multiple times! I'm sure he'll get the message.
Yep, he'll get the message — and block you ASAP.
Your overzealous ways are not only a turn-off but a huge warning sign that you're a clinger. Do you even know his last name? No? Then you shouldn't even be calling him, especially not more than once.
Even when he doesn't answer, you think his phone just didn't ring or he didn't hear it. So why not send him a bunch of texts in a row, too? That'll work! Yes, that will definitely work ... *eye roll*
4. You discuss taking him to meet your parents.
Since the first date went so well, he must be the one. Your parents will be thrilled when you bring over your new beau, as he answers their questions with utmost certainty:
"Yes, we literally just had our first date yesterday, but I'm really only here for the food and beer."
Obviously, the only way you'll get him to your parent's house is by force, because no guy in his right mind would accept that invitation so early on.
5. You purposely leave an article of clothing at his house.
By doing this, it's pretty much guaranteed he will have to speak to you. "I left my favorite hoodie at your apartment. Mind if I swing by and then we can ... spend the rest of our lives together?"
If this guy is smart, he'll block your number as soon as he realizes you purposely left your clothing on his floor. Hopefully, you won't miss those pieces in your wardrobe too much.
6. You stalk him on social media.
When he doesn't answer your texts or calls, you get on your computer and search his social media profiles. Facebook, Instagram, Twitter ... and it definitely doesn't end there. You leave posts and comments, like every picture he's ever posted and every tweet he's ever made.
If he blocks you, you make a new account and message him repeatedly. This is scary behavior and you're bordering on real stalking here. Get yourself together and realize he is not about that life, girl.
7. You talk about marriage after (or during) your first date.
This guy asked you out, so naturally, you assume he wants to marry you. While he's cutting into his rib-eye, you figure the best way to bring it up is to spring it on him. You take a big gulp of your wine and blurt it right out: "How do you feel about marriage?"
Before he can answer, you pull up your Pinterest account and start talking incessantly about your ideal wedding ring, dress, theme, table arrangements, and how great he'll look in a tuxedo.
He is sure to follow that with a "Check, please!"
8. You allow him to treat you poorly.
Let's say you make it past the dating stage and start a relationship. Things are good for a little bit until his true personality comes through — he's rude, mean, arrogant, and most importantly, treats you poorly.
But rather than get out of that relationship, you decide to stay, because at least he loves you (or has the potential to). You don't want to give up on finding love, right? Just because he's convenient, that doesn't mean you should tolerate bad behavior or abuse! Having a relationship is pointless if you're forcing things.
9. You confuse physical intimacy with love.
OK, maybe he insinuated that he liked you, so you slept with him. Nothing wrong with that ... until he doesn't respond to your attempts to contact him or blatantly tells you he isn't interested. Yes, it's not cool to lie to a woman to get her into bed, but it happens.
Or, maybe he told you beforehand that he wasn't looking for anything serious, but you convinced yourself he might have feelings for you anyway.
I'm not playing the blame game here, but either way, blowing up his phone, stalking him, or showing signs of desperation is not a good choice.
Just don't.
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Samantha Maffucci, a Senior Editor for YourTango, has written hundreds of articles about relationships, trending news, entertainment, numerology, and astrology.