An ED Spray May Be On The Way

underarm spray, ed

Testosterone spray Axiron could solve some man problems.

According to Bloomberg, the company Acrux may be on the way to making some big dollars and some couples really happy. The company is testing a testosterone-boosting drug called Axiron that restores hormone levels to normal in 84 percent of test subjects after four months of testing.

As you may know, low man-juice (testosterone, in this case) can lead to memory loss, osteoporosis and erectile malfunctions. Obviously, the major selling point for the drug, which is applied via underarm spray, is as tonic for Erectile Dysfunction. Read: Why Do Older Men Get ED?

I don't know the actual numbers, but I would say that roughly half of our GDP is spent on researching, marketing and distributing boner medication, so it's not surprising that the Australian company, Acrux, has managed to increase its stock price threefold as word of the product's potency has spread.

The ultimate home of the spray will be the American market, because Australians just play a didgeridoo or bite a crocodile's liver if they need a little more in the manliness department*. While there are a number of solutions to scaredy wang including little blue pills and testosterone gels, this one gets high marks from users for cleanliness and ease-of-use. Read: Sex Prevents ED

I'm not sure that this spray could possibly have a manlier name than combining "axe" and "iron," unless they threw in penis, wolverine, machine gun, steak and beer in some order. Hopefully the gents at the Axe Body Spray Corp. won't get their knickers in a twist over the modestly similar names and sort of same point of the two products. Now if we could figure out how to make a spray that re-grows hair, remedies ED, temporarily kills sperm, produces some pheromone that leads people to confuse regular dudes for Tom Brady and makes semen taste like marshmallows…

*Note: Apologies for the harsh stereotypes, Australian men aren't necessarily more virile than American ones. But they are at least 50 percent more virile than Victorian-era England's high society fops. I will stand by that statement.