How You Know He's Not 'The One,' Based On Your Zodiac Sign

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When someone is wrong for us, we know it, even if it takes time to admit it to ourselves. Our inner voice may be screaming at us that this person is wrong for us and we ignore it. 

While movies, books and TV may make finding your forever person look easy, it’s not. It doesn’t matter how many people you date or have relationships with, you may spend years searching for the one.

In order to save yourself extended heartache, it’s important to be aware of the signs he's not the one. Does everything they do irritate you on some level or are they too self-involved to be there when you need them? No one wants to be with someone who holds them back or makes them feel bad about themselves. You want your forever person to add joy, companionship, and excitement to your life.

If you suspect that the person you’re with is wrong for you and will never become someone that you want to grow old with, it may be time to take a good hard look at your relationship and look to astrology for answers. Here's how each zodiac sign can tell that he's far from your soulmate.

Signs he's not the one, by zodiac sign


You know he's not the one if he doesn't inspire passion in you. You're a passionate person and you need a partner who is able to match your energy levels and your enthusiasm for life. If they're content to watch TV all the time or stare at their iPad instead of going out and having a mini-adventure with you, then they're not for you. You need someone who turns you on, both physically and emotionally. You don't want someone who is never going to grow or venture out of their comfort zone because you'd be bored out of your mind.

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He's not the one if he stubbornly refuses to give you what you need. If you are feeling emotional and you need someone to vent to or you want someone who you know has your back so you feel confident enough to go for your dreams, you want a person who is whatever you need. If he refuses to laugh at your jokes or he won't compliment you when you need a little confidence boost, he's not for you. You don't want a partner who makes you feel insecure and unprotected, you want someone who is encouraging and supportive.

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You know he's not the one if he's a horrible listener, has no conversation game, and is just plain boring. You become alive when you're in the middle of a fascinating conversation and you need a partner who is up to the challenge of exchanging ideas with you. If your partner seems bored or keeps interrupting you, that's no good either. However, the worst is someone who has nothing interesting to say. Boy, bye.

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You know he's not the one if he makes you feel stupid for having and expressing your feelings. It's okay if he's someone who isn't that comfortable with emotions, but he shouldn't try to make you feel bad for having them and for wanting to talk about them. Do not shut down that part of you who feels things, just get rid of him. You have every right to feel all the feels and if he can't accept it, he's not your forever person.

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You know he's not the one for you when he makes you do everything. You sometimes wonder if the two of you would ever do anything if you left it up to him. You have to do all the planning for everything including dates, meals, activities, and chores. He's really just a big leech, sucking the lifeblood out of you. He refuses to come up to your level, and the longer you're with him, the more likely it is that he'll drag you down to his.

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You know he's not the one if his thoughtlessness causes you anxiety. You're very sensitive and if he never thinks before he speaks or ignores all your preferences and rules, he needs to go. You like things to be in their place, and when he borrows them, he not only never puts them back where they belong, he often just leaves them wherever and in much worse shape than when he got them. He doesn't consider how his behavior affects you. You may like to fix things, but this relationship is unfixable.

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You know he's not the one if he makes you feel anxious around him. He seems to thrive on conflict and controversy. He may enjoy stirring the pot, but that's not something you enjoy. You can't stand conflict for conflict's sake and yet, it seems as if all he does is confront people and cause trouble just to get a reaction. You need to dump him before he makes you feel any more uncomfortable.

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You know he's not the one if he's always toying with you. By now, you'd assume that you'd be past the point of playing games, but he seems to be getting off on keeping you off balance. How can you build a relationship on such a shaky foundation? You need someone who is straightforward with you and who makes sure you know how adored you are.

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You know he's not the one if he gets intensely jealous over almost everything. You're very independent and you can't be with someone who resents you for your travels or who doesn't understand that when you chat with a stranger, you're not flirting, you're just genuinely interested in hearing what they have to say. He's too insecure to be cool with your free spirit and the longer you're with him, the more he's going to try to control you.

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You know you're with the wrong when you feel as if you can't just be yourself around him and that your whole persona has to be carefully curated. You always try to look perfect, to be interested in the things he's interested in, and to be what you imagine he wants. You don't feel as if you can relax and show up to a date without agonizing about it for hours beforehand. If you can't be yourself around him, you need to extricate yourself from this relationship. He may miss out on ever knowing the real you, but that's better than playing the role of the perfect woman for an entire relationship.

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You know you're with the wrong person when he just doesn't get you at all. It's as if you're always speaking to him in a foreign language and he doesn't have a translator. If you don't have a partner who understands your brilliant and innovative mind, then you'll become dissatisfied with your relationship. The more you try to explain something, the more frustrated you'll get. You need someone who supports you, not just out of love but because they can understand what you're doing.

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You know that he's not the one when he constantly takes advantage of your selflessness and generosity. If he's all about himself and never gives you a second thought, unless he needs something from you, you need to let him go. You may believe in second chances, but you've given him way more chances than two and he's still taking advantage of you. You need to stand up for yourself and say no. Once you stop letting him walk all over you, he'll probably leave all on his own.

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Christine Schoenwald is a writer and performer. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, and Woman's Day.