11 Ways To Know Someone Is Easy To Manipulate, According To Psychology
Manipulators prey on the most vulnerable people.
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock In an ideal world, everyone would have only the purest of intentions. From wanting the best for loved ones to cheering on their partners, people are often led to believe that those closest to them have their back. However, not everyone is as pure-hearted as they make themselves out to be. And while there are people out there who only want to build others up, others are dying to tear them down.
It isn't always easy to spot a manipulator, who often prey on people's weaknesses. Fortunately, there are very specific ways to know someone is easy to manipulate, according to psychology, so people can protect themselves and their loved ones by seeing who's most vulnerable.
Here are 11 ways to know someone is easy to manipulate, according to psychology
1. They have a high need for approval
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Most people have a desire for the approval of others. According to a survey from YouGov, 48% of people are self-identified people-pleasers. Being a self-identified people pleaser isn't all great, as it allows people to become easy to manipulate. It's unfortunate, but many manipulators actively seek out those whose flaws are apparent.
As mental health professional Jamie Cannon said, "In order to take advantage of someone, manipulators must have a solid understanding of that person's weaknesses, worries, and personal history." So, while most people can't help but be people-pleasers, this doesn't mean they need to wear it so freely.
If someone truly wants to protect themselves until they know someone, they should always be on guard and remain observant. While it might be difficult, refusing to show their weakness to strangers is the best way to prevent them from being exploited by the wrong person.
2. They suffer from low self-esteem
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It's hard to have high self-esteem in a society that demands perfection. From using filters to heavily editing pictures on Instagram, both men and women are suffering from low self-esteem. Even so, just because low self-esteem has become common doesn't make it any less of a problem.
One of the major ways to know someone is easy to manipulate, according to psychology, is if they have low self-esteem. Manipulative people actively look for people like this, whether it's someone they're dating, someone they're friends with, or even complete strangers.
According to psychology professor Ronald E. Riggio, "Low self-esteem can cause one to feel they are less deserving, and, as a result, less likely to stand up for themself," adding that it makes it easy to be taken advantage of.
If someone wants to protect themselves, they need to start by building themselves up. By going to therapy, journaling, expanding their support group, and taking care of their health, almost anyone can slowly become more confident.
3. They fear conflict
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It might be entertaining to hear about conflict, but just because it's fun doesn't mean it's great when a person is directly involved. Avoiding conflict is impossible, as conflict arises for multiple reasons, such as when someone puts firm boundaries down. While conflict might be uncomfortable, they shouldn't avoid it. Like it or not, doing this can make anyone easy to manipulate.
People who actively try to avoid conflict will almost always do whatever it takes to please those around them. It's unhealthy, but these individuals will throw away all their feelings to avoid an argument.
This isn't great as, according to psychologist Marisa G. Franco, never entering conflict might stunt a person's growth, as conflict helps us develop skills. "Conflict with friends requires negotiation and compromise, which can lead to better problem-solving skills," Franco added.
4. They don't know how to set boundaries
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There's no worse feeling than being unable to say "no" and set healthy boundaries. However, if most people were honest with themselves, they'd admit that even they struggle to set boundaries from time to time.
Setting boundaries is a necessary part of life. Whether it's with in-laws or at work, people who are unable to set them are bound to be taken advantage of. As behavioral expert Jennifer Verdolin pointed out, "Boundaries are crucial for protecting ourselves physically, emotionally, and mentally," so without them, people put themselves in a dangerous predicament.
Thankfully, it doesn't need to remain this way forever. While setting boundaries might be difficult, it's much easier when people start off small. On a piece of paper, write down some non-negotiable boundaries and then practice how to set them. When people know what lines they don't want crossed, it's much easier to advocate for themselves.
5. They agree with everything a person says
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It's okay to have wants and desires. Despite how terrifying it might be to speak up, it's necessary, as always agreeing with everyone and everything isn't beneficial. If someone is unable to express themselves, manipulative people might use that weakness to bulldoze over their boundaries and desires in order to control the situation.
If someone doesn't advocate for themselves, they'll continue to be used by others until they spiral into burnout. According to relationship specialist and coach Annie Tanasugarn, "Adults with a history of people-pleasing behavior tend to be more vulnerable to being manipulated in abusive or narcissistic relationships."
6. They have a strong desire to be liked
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Everyone wants to be liked and in an ideal world it would be amazing to be admired by teachers, co-workers, and family members. However, the reality is that everyone will encounter people who don't like them, no matter what they do. Even if they're beyond kind and a complete pushover, it won't be enough for the other person.
But manipulators thrive on this desire, as these individuals are often desperate to be accepted by others. It's one of the sad ways to know someone is easy to manipulate, and even though there's nothing wrong with being liked, the pursuit of perfection is a draining one.
According to the research published in the Journal of Research in Personality, perfectionism either can lead to depression. At the end of the day, nobody can truly be loved by everyone. So, always do what's best for you and forget what others may or may not want from you.
7. They're very indecisive
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Indecisive people are easy targets for manipulators. According to cognitive psychology professor Robert N. Kraft, "Manipulative people blur boundaries, encourage guilt, and overlay their version of reality on others," effectively using confusion to their advantage.
This is dangerous, especially for those in relationships who might find themselves stuck in a toxic dynamic. As tough as it may be, find ways to make these indecisive moments easier. By only thinking of two options, there are easier ways to decide without solely relying on the other person completely.
8. They have past trauma
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Many people walk throughout life never fully healing from the past trauma they've gone through in prior relationships or as a kid. Feeling embarrassed or not having the resources to seek help, these individuals are the most vulnerable to manipulation. It's not their fault, but manipulators look for the most unhealed people to take advantage of.
From people who struggle with dependency or attachment issues, manipulators do their best to gain their trust because they know they can have power over them. This is dangerous as, according to a study published in Biomed Research International, entering into these overdependent relationships can actually lead to aggression and, in some cases, even abuse.
Because past trauma is one of the ways to know someone is easy to manipulate, it's essential to focus on healing. While many people aren't ready for therapy, having a support system that can point out red flags can better help vulnerable people avoid being manipulated.
9. They can't control their emotions
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As people get older, they slowly become better at controlling their emotional outbursts. Arguments that once ended in tears end in understanding, as people put their natural reactions to the side to do their best to find conflict resolution in their relationships.
But being unable to control emotions makes a person susceptible to manipulation. While controlling their emotions may be hard, it's important to find ways to ground themselves; otherwise, people with the worst intentions might use their weakness to their advantage.
Not everyone is pure of heart and, as a result, they purposely find ways to trigger someone to get them to do what they want. From gaslighting to guilt-tripping, manipulators will toy with people's emotions to make it out on top.
10. They apologize frequently
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weakness for manipulators, and they use it to their advantage. On the outside, there might not seem there's anything wrong with apologizing all the time, but despite how normalized this is, manipulators know that people who apologize way too often are either scared of confrontation, hate people not liking them, or just have really low confidence.
Either way, there's a weakness to be exploited, which is why it's best to avoid overapologizing in the first place.
11. They lack a strong support system
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If someone ever tries to keep you from your loved ones, run far away. Regardless of their intentions, it's not normal to want to isolate a loved one from those they hold dear. However, people who manipulate don't always have to worry about isolation.
It's terrifying, but manipulators and narcissists look for the most vulnerable people, which often boils down to people who lack a strong support system. This is why it's essential to surround yourself with supportive people, especially if you don't have family to rely on.
It might not be ideal to go outside when you'd rather stay in, but putting yourself out there will expand your social circle and give you plenty of shoulders to lean on in tough times.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
