11 Things That Instantly Make Someone Look Low Value, According To Psychology
It may not be a psychological term, but we know it when we see it.
Adamov_d / Shutterstock Did you ever wonder what makes some people just ooze that “high-value” aura? That aura that makes everyone around them snap to attention, show respect, and emulate them? It’s a thing many social scientists and dating coaches talk about, especially today. In pop culture, it’s known as being high-value, and it’s a legitimate effect people have. It’s not a psychological term, but rather, a term that started in “red pill” and FDS spheres. Still, it’s a term that illustrates a real set of values and behaviors that make a person dateable and befriendable.
Everyone wants to have someone who is seen as high-value because it’s a sign that the person in question will be good to others, good to themselves, and capable of handling life well. A large part of being high-value is avoiding things that make you look low-value, and these things, in particular, tend to give people a sign that you’re not respectable.
These are 11 things that instantly make someone look low value, according to psychology
1. Controlling behavior
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A high-value person generally doesn’t care too much about what happens around them or how other people behave. If they don’t like a person’s behavior, they will make it known by quietly removing them from their lives.
Low-value individuals can’t do that because they are also desperate and insecure. So, they will pull manipulative stunts, pout, argue, or threaten to get their way. It’s a sign that they are trying to constantly be the one in charge.
2. Bragging
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Many people have met individuals who boast about being a great partner or about their popularity. This is not a smart move if you’re trying to show how valuable you are. Most people (or at least those who are smart) see this as an instant red flag.
If you’re a fan of George R. R. Martin, you might remember when Tywin Lannister said, “Any man who must say 'I am king' is no true king at all.”
Yes, it may be true that you’re awesome. However, people will eventually notice that you’re great without you blowing it up with your posturing and speech. If you keep bragging about how you’re so great, people will act suspicious.
3. Lying about success
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We all know about the type of people who constantly exaggerate or flat-out lie about the stuff they do. This is particularly common when it comes to people on LinkedIn discussing their “life-altering” career moments.
Those moments never happened, and most of us can tell when someone spun a yarn for others. High-value people don’t need to do that. It’s a low-value action that just annoys others.
4. Martyrdom
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While most people who are in the low-value world tend to be the ones who brag and foist themselves into a world of aggressive superiority, some tend to go the opposite route. They tend to manipulate others by totally martyring themselves for others.
This is never done out of sheer goodwill. It’s just another string they tie around the things they do so that nothing comes without strings attached. When someone wants to back away from them, the first thing they do is wail, “After all I’ve done for you?”
People don’t appreciate that manipulation that comes with a Martyr Complex, so they avoid it when they start to see it.
5. No ambition
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It’s no secret that people like people who are going places. Most dating coaches warn that one of the biggest signs of a bad, low-value partner is a person who has no vision, no goals, and no ambition to do better.
If he’s totally content vegging out on his mom’s couch at 28, he’s probably not going to be CEO of a Fortune 500 company anytime soon. In fact, he’s not even going to be high-value later on.
6. Poor emotional intelligence
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When you’ve upset someone, are you aware of why you upset them? Did you master the art of being able to work with people from different backgrounds and unite them all together? Are you able to sell ice to an igloo factory?
All these things involve emotional intelligence. You need to be able to understand people, or at least communicate well with most other people. If you can’t maintain friendships or other platonic relationships, chances are that you lack the emotional intelligence to be a high-value partner.
7. Odd body language
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Did you know that most of our communication isn’t about the words we say, but how we say them? The study of body language shows that confident, uplifting body language tends to make people look more attractive.
Meanwhile, aggressive, negative, or closed-off body language tends to make people look shifty and low-value.
8. Aggression toward partners
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According to one feminist relationship writer, one of the biggest dead giveaways of a low-value date is a person who tends to get aggressive with their dates. It’s true, too. No one wants to be around a person whom they believe hates them.
If you insult your dates, start accusing them of things, refuse to apologize to them, and then go back on the offense, you’re low-value by default. Your partner is literally not getting anything out of being with you!
9. Unhealthy financial habits
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There’s something to be said about people who can’t handle their finances: they’re not good relationship material. Right now, as many as 54% of all people believe debt is a reason for divorce. Moreover, a large portion of divorces involve at least some level of problematic spending or earning issues.
So yeah. By default, that makes bad financial habits a sign of a low-value person.
10. Cheapness
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I realize that a lot of people are going to hate me for this, but it’s true. Part of being high-value (for anyone) is being generous.
If you’re the type of person to balk at paying for a person’s dinner once in a while or if you’re known for accusing others of being gold-diggers, you’re probably low-value.
11. Poor hygiene
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We all know that we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but does that mean that we won’t? Nope. Hygiene matters. Unbrushed teeth, bad flossing habits, crumpled clothes, and a foul body odor aren’t going to do you any favors.
Even if you’re a great person, bad hygiene is a major red flag for a lot of people. It’s an indicator that something isn’t right, and high-value people are not going to give you the chance to show them what it is.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
