4 Things Deeply Resilient People Do On A Regular Basis
People who do these things build the kind of strength that can power them through anything.
Kevin Malik | Pexels Changing destructive habits and behaviors is not a matter of luck or happenstance. It takes a deliberate effort to redefine the course of one’s life. This reminds me of the term used mainly in the corporate world and business books: paradigm shift.
You might feel the need, deep inside, to make a 180-degree change in your life because some habits and behaviors are not serving any useful purpose to your goals and dreams. They are killing your health, career, finances, and everything important in your life. The main question is, how do you stop being self-destructive and shift your paradigm to become a deeply resilient person and create a better life that is fulfilling for you?
Here are four things deeply resilient people do regularly:
1. Deeply resilient people identify and acknowledge destructive habits
There is an African Proverb that says, "It is the one who lives in the house who knows where the roof leaks." Our individual "roofs" may be leaking due to destructive habits such as overeating, gambling, alcohol abuse, anger, revenge, and many other examples of risk factors negatively affecting well-being. Unfortunately, most of us refuse to acknowledge that the roof is leaking.
Instead, people remain hopeful that the hole in the roof will mend itself. Some turn away and define a leak as icy droplets of fog. If you cannot name the problem, how will you know what you are dealing with? This will not stop the problem. Instead, it will exacerbate it. You need to acknowledge the issue to bring a stop to it.
2. Deeply resilient people remove the roots of destructive habits
loreanto via Shutterstock
Some behaviors can be likened to tree roots that go deep into the ground. Don’t get me wrong, trees are beautiful and we need them in our gardens for environmental and edification purposes. However, the old tree growing close to buildings poses a serious threat to foundations, walls, and drains. It has the potential to invade cracks and demolish the house.
Some habits do not require pruning or the selective removal of branches and buds. The branches will grow and blossom again once pruned. You will need to dig deep to expose the roots as much as possible to remove them.
If something stands between you and your happiness, what is the benefit of keeping it? What is the benefit of protecting what invades your inner peace and eats away your fulfillment? Discarding habits that threaten your existence is essential to restore your wholeness.
3. Deeply resilient people justify nothing
Once the root is removed, the ticket to new ways of behavior and thinking is not to justify anything. Most of us get stuck between old and new paradigms because we want to find acceptable reasons for our past.
As Lisa Nichols says, “I have nothing to hide. I have nothing to protect. I have nothing to prove. I have nothing to defend. Now, who do I choose to be?” Own up to your past shortcomings, ask forgiveness, and forgive yourself so you can go forward. One anonymous quote says: "Once you’ve accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."
Accepting and acknowledging your past junk not only liberates you, it liberates others as well.
4. Deeply resilient people develop new habits to replace the bad ones
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
Replace your old habits with new, productive ones. You cannot leave a void because it leaves an opening for old habits to creep in. "Habits can persist regardless of social influences when you’re in the context that you’ve performed the habit before,” said Wendy Wood, PhD, a psychologist at the University of Southern California.
How about dedicating the newfound time to health and physical exercise? You are as good as the last book read these days. How about immersing yourself in self-development and creating a better-informed and knowledgeable you? Imagine the mental and physical exhaustion that anger and hatred take. How about replacing these with unconditional acceptance and love?
Release yourself from this bondage by praying for your enemies or those who hurt you. Find time to dedicate to worthy courses and turn anger into love for others. Replace the old, destructive ways with new constructive habits, and your life will never be the same.
Tex Hlalele is a life coach and inspirational speaker. He specializes in body image, change management, self-esteem, forgiveness, stress, and communication issues.
