11 Things That Only Drain Highly Sensitive People But Everyone Else Handles Fine
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock There are some people who are able to handle struggles and obstacles that life throws their way in a rather collected manner. They're able to pick themselves back up and move on to the next thing without looking back. But for highly sensitive people, they need a bit of a reset before even thinking about getting over hardships. It's not that they're being weak or dramatic, it's usually because they tend to process things on a much deeper level. As such, there are certain things that only drain highly sensitive people but everyone else handles fine.
Being highly sensitive basically means that your brain isn't filtering things out easily as someone who isn't as sensitive. At least nearly 30% of the population are considered highly sensitive people. These individuals aren't just able to shrug and move on; instead, they're mentally unpacking things even days later. But highly sensitive people are usually the most thoughtful and observant compared to the average person. That awareness though is their strength, even if it's a lot to carry sometimes.
Here are 11 things that only drain highly sensitive people but everyone else handles fine
1. Background noise that never really stops
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Highly sensitive people can't just tune out constant noise happening around them. Whether it's the TV playing in the background while they're trying to work or people having a loud conversation behind them on the train, their nervous system is registering it all. At first, it might not seem like a big deal. They might not even consciously think about the sound. But internally they're still processing it.
"Research is finally beginning to catch up with what religious traditions have been teaching for millennia — that there are riches to be found in silence. The benefits include improved health, stress reduction, and better mental processing," explained psychology experts Gitte Bechsgaard and Gillian McCann.
It chips away at their energy until they feel too drained to even explain why. It's why they need some minutes of actual silence. At home, they might tend to just sit in the quiet to recharge after being outside and around all of that noise. Real silence feels like recovery, and it's not about them being picky or high maintenance, but about giving their brain a break.
2. Feeling like someone's tone changed quickly
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Highly sensitive people notice when people's tone has shifted. It could be a face-to-face conversation or it happening purely over text and they can still feel the tension. It's because they aren't really registering words, they're registering energy.
Even a tiny shift in facial expression or body language can spark alarm bells in their head. While others might assume everything is fine, highly sensitive people have already analyzed what changed.
They'll start going back over conversations and scanning for anything they might have said wrong. It has to take someone to actually tell them to their face that everything is good for them to let it go.
3. Crowded environments
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Being in an extremely crowded space, it can feel like sensory overload. For most people, it might seem like a lot, but they can handle it. However, crowded spaces are one of the things that only drain highly sensitive people but everyone else handles fine.
Highly sensitive people feel things deeply. There's all that movement and noise happening around them, and it can be hard for them to really take in. It's also the unpredictability of it.
Their nervous system never gets a chance to settle down because they're constantly having to adjust and be aware. It also takes a lot of emotional energy to be social and take in everyone's energy as well. Even the most fun events can feel draining. They might genuinely be enjoying everything, but afterward they've hit a point of extreme exhaustion.
4. Being around strong personalities for too long
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Being around loud and intense people isn't necessarily bad, but it can feel overpowering for those that are highly sensitive. They often end up absorbing that energy and feeling mentally drained from all that energy.
Strong personalities usually end up taking up a lot of space. They might be the ones who dominate conversations and move quickly from topic to topic. Other people might just roll with it or match the energy without really thinking twice about it.
"Many sensitive souls with an open heart can easily absorb the stress and negativity of those around them and experience overwhelm," pointed out psychiatrist Judith Orloff.
Highly sensitive people are usually absorbing everything and end up feeling depleted. It's not that they dislike bold and confident people; in fact, they actually admire them. The issue is that it's a lot for them to constantly process the energy they exude.
There's also the pressure to match the vibe. After a while of trying, it can make them feel quite small, even if no one is actually trying to overpower them.
5. Conflict that isn't even about them
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Just being in the same room where an argument is taking place can make highly sensitive people feel physically uncomfortable. Even when they're not directly involved, they can feel the tension for hours afterward. They aren't just hearing people argue, they're actively feeling it as well.
"Highly sensitive people absorb more environmental information than other people, and that includes both the good and the bad. Absorbing information is tiring. It's a largely unconscious process that uses up a lot of energy," insisted sensitivity expert Deborah Ward.
All of the frustration and hurt that two people might be feeling towards each other is also getting absorbed by someone who is highly sensitive. Even if it has nothing to do with them, their body doesn't get the memo.
Because of that, they may feel the need to step in and resolve the situation. Even if no one asked them to, they feel this need to alleviate some of the pressure that's happening in the room for their own sake.
6. Passive-aggressive comments
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Most people might hear passive-aggressive comments and just ignore them or laugh it off. But highly sensitive people pick up on the tension immediately. Even when the comments seem harmless, their brain can't help but register the critique and sarcasm that's underneath it all.
Because of that, they may end up pulling back and become cautious around the person making the comment. They might even avoid expressing themselves fully due to the worry that it could be twisted or misinterpreted. Even the smallest of interactions can leave this sense of unease in the pit of their stomach.
7. Public speaking
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Talking in front of a large group might not be that big of a deal for some people, but for highly sensitive people, it can cause a lot of nerves to come up for them. It's this entire experience that goes beyond just speaking in public. Even preparing for having to talk can feel overwhelming.
"Fear of public speaking can prevent you from taking risks to share your ideas, to speak about your work, and to present your solutions to problems that affect many people — and as a result, it can affect how much you grow personally and professionally, and how much impact you can have. At the same time, any negative public speaking experiences will make it less likely that you will speak in public in the future," neuropsychologist Theo Tsaousides said.
As one of the many things that only drain highly sensitive people but everyone else handles fine, they're thinking through every word and even anticipating the reaction. They feel an intense amount of anxiety at envisioning the faces of everyone in the crowd just looking at them. While others might breeze through the whole ordeal, highly sensitive people are mentally exhausted before they even get on that stage.
8. Being part of gossip
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Highly sensitive people find it depleting to be part of gossip. Even when they logically know they aren't contributing, they hate feeling as if they were complicit. They care deeply about being fair and exuding kindness to other people. Gossip feels like a direct threat to their values that they have.
They also find it exhausting to constantly be reading the room when they're involved in gossip. They're noticing the fact that some people might be uncomfortable or even embarrassed by what's being talked about. It's why they choose to avoid gossip altogether. It's not about thinking they're above gossip, but about preserving their energy and emotions.
9. Lack of alone time
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Most people are able to bounce from one social interaction to another without thinking twice. But for highly sensitive people, they need that time to themselves or else they'll go crazy. Without a chance to decompress, even the smallest of interactions starts to feel heavy. Alone time isn't about avoiding people, either.
"Spending time alone gets a bad rap. It too often gets conflated with loneliness, which triggers fears of an epidemic of loneliness, especially among men. Loneliness is worth fretting about, but time spent alone can also be an enriching experience," explained social psychologist Bella DePaulo.
It's about needing the space to process everything and get their thoughts in order. When their alone time is cut short or skipped entirely, the stress builds up faster for them than the average person. Without a proper reset, they end up feeling anxious and even irritable. It doesn't even need to be a long moment of spending time alone, but even a night in can make the biggest difference.
10. Watching someone be treated unfairly
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Watching another person be treated unfairly is one of the deep things that only drain highly sensitive people but everyone else handles fine. It can feel like a punch to the gut for them to watch people be spoken to in such a negative way.
They feel it on a much deeper level, to the point where it actually just drains their energy. Even if they're not involved, their empathy can't help but kick in. They're quite literally absorbing someone else's pain. It's worse when there's nothing they can do in the moment.
They feel the urge to protect and defend someone who is being put down. These individuals also process moments like that quite deeply. They might even think about how it would feel if it happened to them or to someone they care about. The ripple effect takes a lot of energy out of them, and feels too heavy sometimes.
11. Being rushed to make quick decisions
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These individuals are usually the type who process things more deeply. They want to be able to weigh their options and consider the consequences just as much as what would happen if things worked out. They just want to make sure that they're making the right choice that feels good for them.
When someone starts telling them to hurry up, their brain goes into overdrive and suddenly they feel quite drained. It's not that their impatient either, it's just that they have a certain process for making a choice and it's quite personal to them. Being rushed just unnecessarily stresses them out.
According to research studies, including one from Time Pressure and Stress in Human Judgment and Decision Making and another from Applied Animal Behaviour Science, when someone is told to hurry, it affects their emotional regulation, leading to anxiety and frustration. This can lead to chronic stress and emotional exhaustion, affecting our daily lives in quite a negative way.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
