11 Behaviors People Think Are Normal But Are Actually Signs They Are Not OK At All

Considering many people grapple with loneliness and social isolation when they're struggling with emotional or mental health concerns, it's not surprising that many of the symptoms are unsuspecting and subtle. Without someone else to notice our behaviors or acknowledge a shift in our routine, they can fly under the radar for a long time. Whether it's burnout from working too hard or symptoms of grief, someone can be spiraling without realizing that they're falling into a cycle of harm.

Many of the behaviors people think are normal but are actually signs they are not OK at all can be easily justified by excuses like "I'm just tired" or "I have a lot on my plate." But the longer these people go without support and help, the more they struggle and the deeper they fall into spirals of depression, isolation, and loneliness.

Here are 11 behaviors people think are normal but are actually signs they are not OK at all

1. Feeling guilty for resting

sad woman feeling guilty for resting at home Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock

Especially in our busy "hustle" culture today, it's not surprising that burnout and stress are essentially everywhere. From mothers facing emotional exhaustion to workers battling fatigue that sabotages productivity and health, the more people avoid rest and make excuses for not taking breaks, the worse they'll feel.

While it might feel impossible to rest in some moments, many people who feel consistently guilty when they rest have intertwined their self-worth with their productivity. They believe that they're not worthy of things like praise, connection, and love unless they're offering something tangible in return.

However, these are only behaviors that people think are normal. They're actually signs and symptoms of a person who's going through a lot and sabotaging their own well-being.

2. Using phrases like 'I'm fine' when they're not

mom hugging sad daughter who is saying i'm fine tsyhun | Shutterstock

Even if suppressing emotions and avoiding the complex feelings that spark fear feel like healthy coping strategies in the moment to save time and energy, the truth is that they're far from it. According to a study from the Journal of Psychosomatic Research, people who consistently suppress their emotions actually have a higher risk for mortality at younger ages and a heightened risk for other emotional and physical illnesses.

From using phrases like "I'm fine" to self-isolating when they can no longer hide the emotions they're feeling, these are the behaviors people think are normal but are actually signs they are not OK at all.

3. Over-apologizing

woman who is not ok over-apologizing to her friend carballo | Shutterstock

When someone's suffering from a chronic sense of insecurity, a fear of rejection, or unresolved trauma, they may over-apologize to cope with their own feelings of inadequacy. They've been taught, in some way or another, that their presence requires some kind of apology. While it might feel comforting to know that you've "covered all your bases" with apologies, they only end up placing an emotional burden on others that further isolates them.

It's one of the behaviors people think are normal but are actually signs they are not OK at all. They're isolating themselves and sabotaging their relationships by relying on this behavior, rather than addressing the self-worth or trauma-focused struggles at hand.

4. Feeling safest when busy

man feeling safe being busy juggling phone call and a baby Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock

If you're constantly rushing around, overscheduling yourself, and relying on distractions like screen time or mindless entertainment to avoid addressing stress or emotional turmoil, there's a chance you're not actually OK at all.

While disengagement can be an acceptable coping strategy when it's temporary, as a study from Frontiers in Psychology explains, when it spirals into a trend of avoidance, it only cultivates internal overwhelm and chronic nervous system anxiety. It's one of the behaviors that people have normalized in our "hustle culture," which is actually a sign that they're not OK at all.

5. Needing background noise constantly

woman on the sofa putting television on as background noise Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

According to a study from The Gerontologist, using background noise and TV sounds at home for a sense of peace is actually most common in people experiencing isolation and loneliness. They use noise and sensory information to "keep them company," even if it's a decision fully prompted by their subconscious yearning for connection and support.

It's one of the behaviors people think are normal that are actually signs they're not OK at all. Even if it's uncomfortable or inconvenient at times, we need a certain level of social interaction and support. It's a pillar of "lifestyle medicine" for a reason.

6. Avoiding solitude and stillness

lonely sad man hanging with friends to avoid solitude MAYA LAB | Shutterstock

There's a reason why our brains are naturally wired to seek out idleness. Essentially, we need to be "lazy" sometimes and spend time with ourselves to give our nervous systems, brains, and bodies a chance to unwind, reflect, and recharge. Even if we're not introverts, this alone time is still essential for our well-being.

However, if someone's dealing with a ton of emotional turmoil, stress, or uncomfortable emotions without any healthy coping skills, chances are solitude feels impossible to them. The quietness and stillness of solitude prompt all the emotions and feelings they've suppressed to rise to the surface all at once.

So, while an extroverted person or "workaholic" may justify their dislike for solitude or their preference for busyness, they're often exhibiting behaviors people think are normal but are actually signs they're not OK at all.

7. Not getting enough sleep

tired man after not getting enough sleep the night before Pressmaster | Shutterstock

Even though we've collectively glamorized "night owl" behavior, "all-nighters," and a lack of sleep in favor of productivity in our culture, the truth is that consistently sacrificing sleep is detrimental to our health and well-being, in every sense. From sabotaging personal relationships to prompting physical symptoms of exhaustion and overloading our brains, the less sleep we get, the more miserable our lives are.

According to a study from Healthcare, our society's lack of sleep is now becoming a collective problem, but that doesn't mean it should be normalized. It's a sign that we're not OK, a sign that we're putting our health at risk and sabotaging our body's natural processes. It's something worth addressing, for all of us.

8. Feeling detached from life

sad man feeling detached from life Bits And Splits | Shutterstock

Despite becoming a popular experience for many Americans today, loneliness and emotional disconnection are serious signs that someone is struggling. If you don't have the support to seek help or the coping skills to deal with complex emotions, there's a chance numbness feels like the only safe option.

Rather than living in a constant state of peril, these people cling to feeling "nothing" for a moment of comfort and respite. Of course, these are behaviors people think are normal but are actually signs they are not OK at all.

9. Justifying pain as the reality of 'adulthood'

sad woman who is not okay dealing with the reality of adulthood larisa Stefanjuk | Shutterstock

Even if it's overlooking the power of simple habits like movement and exercise, which often have the power to improve personal well-being and health, in favor of a few fleeting moments of comfort or peace, adults find a way to justify living in pain. They believe that their daily struggles or the tendency to feel completely exhausted is simply a "reality" of adulthood, when it's actually a red flag that they're struggling.

Of course, it's not surprising that so many people adopt these habits, with workplaces and institutions glamorizing hustle culture as strongly as they do. But that doesn't make it healthy to continue making space for.

More for You:

3 Things People Immediately Judge You On When You First Meet Them

5 Immediate Signs Of A Toxic, Passive-Aggressive Person

11 Subtle Signs Of A Woman Who Has Been Through A Lot In Life

11 Traits Of An Introverted Intuitive, The Rarest & Most Intelligent Personality

10. Treating exhaustion as a personality trait

exhausted woman who is not OK at all BearFotos | Shutterstock

Especially in our culture and society today, where employers praise workers pushing themselves toward burnout, and people seek validation around who's got the "busiest" routines, it's not surprising that exhaustion is now viewed as a quirky personality trait, rather than something that's concerning.

It's something to brag about, especially for people with prestigious jobs and careers but, in reality, it's a sign that they're not OK at all.

11. Disconnecting from things they once enjoyed

woman whose hobby was plants looking sad and disconnected Okrasiuk | Shutterstock

A study from European Child and Adolescent Psychiatry found that many people suffering from depression and other mental health concerns experience "anhedonia," a loss or lack of pleasure for the things they used to enjoy. Whether it's connecting with people, engaging in certain hobbies, or making time for certain rituals in their daily lives, people who are truly struggling often suffer a loss of enjoyment from these things.

While this looks incredibly alarming on paper, people still find a way to justify this experience with phrases like "that's just adulthood" or "I'm just too busy right now." They prioritize their productivity or work life above their personal interests and well-being, even if they're not aware of it.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.