11 Once Common Personality Traits That Feel Increasingly Rare In Modern Life
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Despite the way our society has progressed, newer doesn’t always mean better. Whether it's the latest piece of technology released or new slang terms coined by younger generations, things are meant to change over time. Something that was popular in the past might not always fit our future, but some forgotten aspects of life deserve to be brought back.
Whether it's leading with empathy or being conscientious of others' needs, there are many once common personality traits that feel increasingly rare in modern life. And while fads come and go, sometimes, keeping them around benefits humanity. Perhaps if we all thought a little bit harder of how we treat each other, we could make the world just a little better.
Here are 11 once common personality traits that feel increasingly rare in modern life
1. Thoughtfulness
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Only thinking about yourself might benefit you short-term, but the gains you make on your own usually won't last for long. That's because considering other people's needs helps us build a sense of community. The people we extend care to become the people who are willing to care for us when we're faced with hardship. It's all about doing good for others without expecting anything in return.
And showing that you care about others doesn't have to be done with any grand, sweeping gesture. You can simply ask your neighbors how they're doing, or thank servers and retail workers when they help you out. Bringing thoughtfulness back is a style that looks good on everyone.
2. Altruism
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Caring about others goes hand-in-hand with giving your time and energy to someone besides yourself. Centering your own needs is important, but only if you also help out people who are in need of support. Modern society might value independence, but the truth is, we all need a little help at various points in our life, and that's why altruism is one of the once common personality traits that feel increasingly rare in modern life.
Altruism is all about selfless actions that are done for the sole purpose of helping others. It could be something as simple as holding the door open for a stranger, or donating blood during a shortage. Additionally, bolunteering can benefit the people doing it just as much as the people receiving support.
Donating your skills toward a cause you believe in can open your eyes to new perspectives. It can also boost your sense of confidence and self-worth, and help you feel connected to others in your community.
3. Humility
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Being humble is another personality trait that seems to be rare these days. Exercising humility requires a person to have a strong sense of values that they choose to live by. Someone who shows humility knows how to think outside of their own experience and extend empathy and compassion to others, even when they don't agree with them.
As research published in the Journal of Positive Psychology has shown, having a humble mindset can improve a person's physical and mental health. The more humble a person is, the more they're able to buffer against stressful life events, thus protecting their sense of well-being.
4. Inquisitiveness
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Having a successful conversation has less to do with what a person says and much more to do with what they don't say. Being an avid, active listener demonstrates that you have a level of interest in other people and aren't only thinking about yourself. You're showing your inquisitive nature by caring about things outside of your own needs and wants, and letting others know that you're genuinely interested in what they have to say.
By asking kind, intuitive questions, you can get to know someone on a deeper level, which can boost your sense of social satisfaction and maybe even teach you a few things about yourself. Being a good friend or partner means you have to pay attention to what people say, and being inquisitive is the first step.
5. Elegance
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An elegant person is gracious and graceful. They know when to raise their voice to advocate for themselves and others, and they also know when to keep a low profile and not ruffle any feathers.
They're put-together, classy, and have a strong sense of who they are and what they believe in. They don't get tempted by passing fads. Their self-worth is always elevated and they know how to let their authentic self shine through.
6. Commitment
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Committing to oneself and to others is part of building strong connections. It's easy to waver when making decisions, and much more difficult to stick to what you said you'd do.
According to a study published in Frontiers in Psychology, "Commitment is a cornerstone of human social life." The study also noted that commitment fosters a sense of cooperation by "making individuals willing to contribute to joint actions to which they wouldn't be willing to contribute if they, and others, were not committed to doing so."
Actions like offering to take on a project at work or baking for your child's bake sale at school are examples of ways people commit to helping because others have committed, too. Following through and keeping promises might have been more common in a by-gone era, but there's always time to recommit to commitment.
7. Conscientiousness
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Attention to detail and being careful both show that someone cares about the work they do and the relationships they form. All too often, we dive headfirst into situations without considering the long-term consequences for ourselves and for others.
Being careful might not have the best reputation, but it's one of the once common personality traits that feel increasingly rare in modern life. Carefulness can be equated to being mindful. By taking our time to make decisions, we keep ourselves in the present moment.
Therapist Toni Parker explained that being mindful is a key part of dealing with difficult emotions. "Practicing mindfulness enables you to calm down and soothe yourself," she said. "In this state, you have space to reflect and thoughtfully respond, rather than react."
Taking deep breaths to center ourselves before making a choice and creating conscious connections with others is a healthy way to live, for our minds, bodies, and souls.
8. Quietness
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Being loud might seem like the right way to get people to notice you, but being the most magnetic person in the room can come from having quiet, confident energy as well. It's not always about using your voice to get people to pay attention to you; sometimes, giving off a calm vibe will draw more people to you.
Instead of talking about yourself all the time, listen to what others are saying. Don't just pretend to listen — really, truly tune into their words, and make it a point to respond in a way that offers something to the conversation, not just a personal anecdote. They'll appreciate your soft open-mindedness, and you'll both leave the interaction feeling like you made a valuable impression.
9. Accountability
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People often struggle to admit when they're in the wrong, which is why being accountable is such a rare trait in modern life it seems. Accountability is important in our personal relationships, and it's also important in our professional lives.
A 2023 study looked at the concept of team accountability in the workplace, which they defined as "team members' shared expectations of being held answerable for their common actions or decisions." The results of the study found that initial team accountability is strongly connected to the levels of trust, commitment, efficacy and emotional identification of the team. In teams that are already established, accountability increases the individual members' shared effort and willingness to collaborate.
The more we hold ourselves accountable, the more we can hold others accountable, which boosts our ability to work well together. While it seems like this trait has gone out of style or isn't relevant today, we actually see it in how people notice details, take responsibility for their actions, and help out others.
10. Motivation
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Having drive is an important part of making a strong impression, whether it's at work or in our personal relationships. Nowadays, it's easy to get distracted by screens and social media. Our ability to pay close attention and focus on the task at hand has sadly been decreasing as years have gone by.
According to psychologist Gloria Mark, in 2004, the average attention span on any screen was two and a half minutes. By 2012, the average was 75 seconds. In the past five years, researchers have found that the average attention span is only 47 seconds long. It's no wonder that staying motivated is such a challenging task.
It might be tough to get started and require a change in your daily routine, but making a plan to stay focused and set your sights on the big picture will help your dreams come true.
11. Punctuality
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We all know that one person who can't seem to ever show up on time. Whether it's to an important work meeting or a dinner reservation, they don't seem to realize how essential punctuality is. But nowadays, it's just another of the once common personality traits that feel increasingly rare in modern life.
As neuroscientists point out, people are often late due to time perception, time management, and even their general personality. Psychology professor Emily Waldum added, "If we have a lot of experience performing a task, we are more likely to underestimate how long it will take." Her research, published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology, found that other factors can distort a person's sense of time, like music.
While being on time may not seem like a big deal to some, for others, arriving late to an event or meeting is not only rude, but just unacceptable.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
