11 Things Highly Intelligent People Secretly Hate Doing But Pretend To Enjoy
They don't always have a choice to prioritze their favorite hobbies and behaviors.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Innately curious, creative, and open-minded, there aren't a lot of things that intelligent people refuse to do or turn their backs on. But when it comes to structuring their routine, being intentional about their time, and prioritizing certain hobbies, there are certain things they'd prefer to avoid. Intelligent people can often see behind the veil of societal norms and expectations, but that doesn't mean they're never willing to play along for the sake of connection, success, or personal well-being.
In fact, there are even things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy anyway. From workplace behaviors, to small talk, and even choosing how to spend their weekends, they're not always given the freedom or space to hyperfixate on the things they'd prefer to be doing or the activities they'd choose to invest time and energy into.
Here are 11 things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy
1. Going out
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Highly intelligent people do tend to engage in more "prosocial behavior" than their average counterparts, whether that's volunteering, helping others, or having deep conversations with trusted friends, according to a study from the journal Intelligence, but they're less likely to go out or mingle with superficial connections for the sake of attention or distraction.
They may pretend to enjoy a trip to the club on Saturdays for the sake of the music, dancing, and bonding with close friends, but it's still one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing, especially on the basis of meeting a "partner" for a night or trying to impress people they may run into.
While not everyone goes out for the sake of finding someone to come home with or flirting with external validation, a 2009 study suggests a large number of party-goers still have those main goals in mind when they go to a bar or nightclub. It's just not something a highly intelligent person has on their radar or cares to prioritize in their daily life.
2. Fitness trends
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Everyone online always seems to be trying the newest fitness trend, whether it's Pilates, hot yoga, Barre classes, or some kind of running club that social media makes out to be the greatest new dating, friendship, and networking event — despite being at 5 a.m. on a random Saturday.
For some people, moving their body works when they try and experiment with new things, but these trends are just one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy. They'd prefer to feed into their own unique hobbies and rituals, whether it be one of the things above or something incredibly casual like a nightly walk around the block.
According to a study from Comprehensive Psychology, regular exercise has the power to support cognitive abilities like memory and concentration, along with a sleuth of other physical and mental benefits. However, the key is consistency — doing something you love, finding something that fits your routine, and being consistent with the practice without feeling pressured to constantly barter with yourself.
3. Solving everyone's problems
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Being the smartest friend in your social circle or the high IQ person at work can often result in a lot of benefits, like soaking up the gratification of helping others, being more successful in the workplace, and sometimes even better relationships, with the added support of emotional intelligence.
However, it's also occasionally one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy. They're always the "go-to person" in every circle, helping people to solve problems, think critically, and mediate difficult conversations that can be equally stressful and draining.
Sometimes, highly intelligent people just want to put their head down and work, embrace solitude, or have someone else take over and be the "therapist friend" or "the helper" instead of them. Yet, they're often thrown right back into the mix the next time an issue or conflict arises.
4. Following societal norms
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Many people are pressured by societal norms and frustrated with stereotypes that thrive in their social lives, but they're largely one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy. They understand that in order to succeed in the workplace, find and cultivate relationships, and sometimes even craft routines, you have to give in somewhat to certain norms, rules, and expectations.
A study from the Journal of Personality Assessment found that the trait of "openness" — or the willingness to overcome subconscious internal obstacles that'd prevent someone from doing something, like challenging definitions of social acceptability — is common in highly intelligent people.
So, they're innately drawn to overcoming and challenging social norms and definitions of what's "acceptable" in society, but still forced to pretend to enjoy and feed into them to craft a healthy routine and occasionally find success in institutions like the workplace.
5. Making fun of mental health issues
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While humor and laughter has been proven to help relieve stress, anxiety, and symptoms of depression, making fun of mental health issues — even personal ones — certainly has a time and a place. It's one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy, especially considering they tend to struggle from depression and anxiety at higher rates than their average counterparts.
However, to cope with the social isolation or feelings of loneliness that come with that experience, highly intelligent people may pretend to enjoy these conversations or even make an attempt at laughing at their own struggles, even if it's something they secretly hate on a daily basis.
6. Superficial conversations
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Despite the temporary and instantaneous benefits we often indulge in from talking about ourselves during small talk or in superficial conversations, like a 2012 study explains, most highly intelligent people prefer to get deep, embody their internal emotional intelligence, and feed time, energy, and effort into connections that have a potential to grow into long-term meaningful relationships.
Superficial conversations, small talk, and casual interactions with no purpose tend to be some of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy. They'd prefer to talk with a trusted friend, embrace their solitude, or even build a new deep connection than continue to feed into meaningless conversations at networking events or at a social gathering of random friends.
7. Mindless entertainment
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While they're likely going to entertain it around friends or engage in it when other people are around, mindless entertainment is one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy.
Whether it's doom-scrolling on social media or watching endless Netflix episodes of the same sitcom, they'd prefer to be reading, doing a puzzle, engaging in a creative endeavor, or filling their time with something that directly adds value or stimulation to their lives.
8. Networking events
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Considering they're not huge fans of small talk or superficial conversations, it's not entirely surprising that networking events are one of the things highly intelligent people secretly hate doing but pretend to enjoy.
Of course, they're usually knowledgeable about things like social norms or networking — they understand how vital they are to success in places like the workplace — so they can engage in them and pretend to enjoy when they have to. But when they have a choice, it's usually quality time with close friends or solitude.
9. Meetings over emails
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It's not uncommon for any kind of worker to despise seemingly superficial and meaningless meetings, especially when they truly could have been an email. They'd prefer to work independently, recharge with the alone time they can salvage at work, and be intentional with meetings, productivity, and social interactions on the clock.
According to psychology professor Thuy-vy Nguyen, the alone time highly intelligent people can find amid a chaotic schedule can be incredibly de-stressing and restorative, which is why mindless meetings are one of the things they secretly hate, but pretend to enjoy for the sake of connections and stability at work.
10. Corporate lingo
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For the sake of their job stability, relationships with their peers, and success at work, many highly intelligent people are forced to pretend to enjoy corporate lingo in conversations, despite secretly hating it behind closed doors.
Phrases like "close the loop" and "boil the ocean" are not only annoying, especially to new workers and people who'd prefer clear and simple language, but vague and relatively meaningless, especially to people who've never heard the terms used before.
According to psychology professor Daniel M. Oppenheimer, clear, concise, and simple language will always be better for signaling intelligence and competence than overly complex and exclusionary language, like corporate lingo and slang.
So, highly intelligent people aren't entirely misguided in having a secret distaste for this kind of workplace language; in fact, they tend to thrive in the same institutions by using a completely different foundation of clear communication.
11. Social media
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According to clinical psychologist Lynn Zubernis, social media can actually be beneficial for building communities and combating loneliness if it's used in moderation and in very intentional ways. However, from a big picture, overusing social platforms, doom-scrolling, and indulging in too much screen time in general can have adverse effects on mental and physical health.
This dichotomy is part of the reason why highly intelligent people secretly hate social media, but also often spend some of their time on it, pretending to enjoy curating their feeds, sharing photos, and texting their friends.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
