11 Things Extroverts Find Enjoyable That Introverts Can't Stand
Extroverts don't need solitude to recharge.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock While introverts generally prefer their alone time and need solitude to recharge their social battery after social interaction, according to a study from the Journal of Research in Personality, extroverts are the opposite. They may still have rituals and hobbies in their alone time but, for the most part, they're energized through talking to, interacting with, and spending time around other people.
So, it's unsurprising that extroverts also have uniquely personal routines that differ from those of their solitude-seeking counterparts, many of which involve being social. The things extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can't stand recharge and reinvigorate their daily lives — adding fulfillment, even if they're completely uninteresting or draining for everyone else.
Here are 11 things extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can’t stand
1. Large crowds
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Most people yearn for deeper connections and more meaningful relationships in their everyday lives, but that doesn't mean extroverts don't also enjoy large crowds, bustling parties, and huge social events. While introverts thrive on having a far less expansive social circle, extroverts appreciate bringing new people in, indulging in small talk, and putting time into more superficial connections.
While these same practices are overwhelming for introverted people who perform best in and appreciate solitary or small-group interactions, according to family counselor Lynne Reeves Griffin, for extroverts, they're simply a way of life and a nonnegotiable plan on the weekends.
2. After-work plans
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Especially for introverted people who already work in an office and have a million micro-interactions with co-workers and peers every day, the 5-to-9 schedule after work needs to be solitary.
They need space to recharge on weekdays to prepare for another day of social interactions, so they generally avoid making plans or going out afterward. This is also part of the reason why introverts largely dread going back to work and returning to in-person offices compared to their extroverted counterparts, according to a survey from Truity.
Even if it seems obvious, these rituals after work and their plans during the week are some of the things extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can't stand. It's not just about preference, but lifestyle, and introverts can't thrive at work or invest time into the relationships that matter if they're wasting energy on superficiality.
3. Warm weather
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Of course, the idea that summer is something that every introvert can't stand is a generalization. However, many of the people who struggle with Seasonal Affective Disorder, depression, anxiety, or social isolation in the summer are introverted people. They feel the added pressures to "get outside" and "enjoy the weather" so much more deeply in the summer, whereas in the winter, they're permitted to stay inside, rest, and recharge.
However, extroverts tend to find the summer months more enjoyable. There's a lot going on, plenty of people to see, and tons of social events to indulge.
4. Talking to strangers
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Whether it's at a coffee shop, while running errands, or at work, talking to strangers for fun is something extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can't stand. Not only is it often anxiety-inducing and draining to engage in small talk for introverts — especially with someone they don't have any intention to build a relationship or connection with — it takes away from their ability to think deeply and regulate.
Part of the reason why introverts are often more intelligent and creatively indulgent is that they're internally gratified. While extroverts find pleasure in talking to strangers to fulfill them and bring clarity, introverts appreciate thinking deeply and being far more internal.
5. Being the center of attention
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According to a study from BMC Psychology, many introverts steer clear of group leadership roles in places like the workplace, because being the center of attention triggers anxiety and reduces their enthusiasm about the task and deep thinking at hand.
However, it is one of the things extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can't stand. Not only are they energized by being the center of attention, talking to a million people, and prioritizing social interactions, but they often have the capacity to both think critically and socialize, while their introverted counterparts need solitude to do their best work.
6. Group projects
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Whether they're in the workplace, at school, or even in their social lives at home, group projects and collaborations are some of the things extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can't stand. They enjoy the simple art of brainstorming with other people because they can think critically, form their ideas, and express them without needing to recharge or regulate themselves.
However, for introverts, these situations are far less enjoyable and exciting, because they're not only battling the stress or responsibilities of the task at hand, but also the anxiety and draining energy of the social interactions it takes to collaborate.
7. Back-to-back plans
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Whether it's after work or on the weekends, back-to-back plans without rest or solitude are some of the things extroverts find enjoyable that introverts can't stand. Of course, many introverts do find their social interactions enjoyable, but it's the time that comes after — unpacking their emotions, reflecting on their interactions, and recharging their social battery — that allows them to be fully present when they arise.
Even if it seems counterintuitive, it's their solitude that protects introverts from experiencing isolation and loneliness. When they're not recharged or showing up as their best selves in interactions, they feel more alone around other people.
8. Surprise parties
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Considering introverts hate being the center of attention, it's not surprising that surprise parties and birthday gatherings are one of the things they can't stand. However, for extroverts, the drama, excitement, and attention are their favorite parts.
While crowded parties and huge events are some extroverts' favorite things, introverts would prefer a small and intimate party or setting to celebrate.
9. Talking through issues out loud
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For true introverts and homebodies, prioritizing mindfulness and solitude isn't just about promoting better mental and physical health, but also opening up space for regulation, reflection, and critical thinking. Extroverts find talking about issues out loud and collaborating with others to solve problems much more fulfilling and enriching, but introverts need this space alone to be truly thoughtful, intentional, and creative.
So, if you've found it difficult to express yourself in a conflict with friends or even to verbalize a solution in a work meeting, it may not be because you don't know the answer, but because you're an introvert who needs alone time to process and think.
10. Constantly interacting on social media
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It's not just in-person interactions and conversations that drain introverts, but also social media, spending tons of time online, and indulging in social behaviors with people through their phones. They struggle to respond to texts, answer calls, or reach out to people when they feel socially drained, while extroverts find it enjoyable and fulfilling.
Of course, online social communities can also help introverts struggling with social anxiety to practice interacting with others with the buffer of their phones, but for the most part, it's energy — not anxiety or embarrassment — that keeps them from engaging.
11. Filling silence with conversation
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Introverts generally appreciate silence because if they can't go home or find solitude to reflect, they're going to use lulls in conversation to do so. While extroverts may appreciate filling silence and awkward pauses in conversations to speak about themselves or learn about others, introverts use this space to regulate, reflect, and think — oftentimes, to show up better when they do contribute.
So, if you notice someone constantly trying to compensate for silence, chances are it's an extrovert, over an introvert.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
