If someone was raised with proper manners, they'll use these 11 phrases pretty much all the time
Dean Drobot | Shutterstock Well-mannered people go above and beyond displaying simple acts of politeness. In conversations at work, with friends, or among family, they do more than just say "please" and "thank you." Whether it's admitting their mistakes or thanking someone for their patience, if someone was raised with proper manners, they'll make sure to use these phrases often, showing that they're considerate on a deeper level and truly care about the people around them.
People with good manners know that kindness is rooted in mutual respect and that they can't expect to be treated with compassion if they don't show it to others. They live by example and truly believe in the golden rule. As children, they were taught to be considerate of their peers and elders, and they continue to show respect in their daily adult interactions.
Here are 11 phrases people use when they were raised with good manners:
1. 'I appreciate you'
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People who were raised with proper manners know the value of expressing gratitude. By letting other people know they appreciate them, they deliver a powerful, positive message that sends kindness forward. If someone feels that their efforts are appreciated, they're more likely to continue those efforts.
They're also highly aware of how expressing gratitude can provide benefits on an intrapersonal level. In fact, cultivating a gratitude practice can function as a protective factor, which means that it "decreases the chances of a person being adversely affected by a circumstance or disorder," such as anxiety and depression.
Additionally, a study published in American Psychologist found that one individual act of gratitude immediately produces a 10% increase in happiness and a 35% decrease in depressive symptoms. Simply put, expressing appreciation and gratitude is good for keeping people's mental health in balance.
2. 'How can I help?'
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Whether it's "How can I help?" or "What can I take off your plate?" if someone was raised with proper manners, they'll make sure to use these phrases all the time. They offer a simple gesture of support because they really mean it, even though asking for help can be difficult.
Whether it's helping someone they're close to or providing support to a complete stranger, they're entirely aware that doing small favors for people makes their community stronger. When they ask someone if they need help, it comes from a place of deep care and consideration.
3. 'Take your time'
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For people who were raised with proper manners, they know patience is more than a virtue, it's an important psychological tool to take on the challenges that life presents. They often use this phrase to express their patience to others and highlight their understanding that to complete a task well, people need to devote time and concentration to that particular task.
A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology defined patience as "The propensity to wait calmly in the face of frustration or adversity." In the extensive researcher by the study's author Sarah A. Schnitker, she observed that having patience is positively correlated with subjective well-being, positive coping, and the ability to thrive in difficult situations.
Schnitker noted that having patience can buffer a person's emotions in stressful environments, which allows them to adaptively cope with their levels of frustration. This provides them a sense of calm in situations where tensions are running high, on both a small and large scale.
4. 'It's a pleasure to meet you'
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When they're introduced to someone new, people raised with proper manners will use this phrase all the time because they know that first impressions are made in seconds. Showing appreciation for someone's presence is not only kind, it's the right thing to do.
They have a warm, positive energy that draws people to them. They often find themselves in conversations with people they haven't met before, and they genuinely enjoy hearing what those individuals have to say. They keep an open heart and an open mind, and receive new information with grace and gratitude.
5. 'It's my mistake'
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Humility isn't an easy trait to master, but someone raised with proper manners knows how important it is, especially in the workplace. In fact, a study from the University at Buffalo found that leaders who believe in the power of teachability and admitting their mistakes are more effective and well-liked than leaders who don't exhibit those traits.
Researchers discovered that when leaders model their own humanness, they legitimize the process of "becoming." Professor Bradley Owens noted, "Growing and learning often involves failure and can be embarrassing. But leaders who can overcome their fears and broadcast their feelings as they work... will be viewed more favorably by their followers."
By telling people that they've made a mistake, people raised with great manners hold themselves accountable and take responsibility for their actions. They embody the idea that no person is perfect, and that making mistakes is part of the growth process.
6. 'Thanks for your patience'
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Whether it's "thanks for your patience" or "I appreciate your understanding," if someone was raised with proper manners, they'll make sure to use these phrases all the time. They tend to express gratitude for other people's patience when they're working through a difficult task.
By using this direct and kind phrase, they show a level of self-awareness that's rooted in compassion. They know that the challenges they face require them to rely on other people in order to make a true difference. Not only that, but they genuinely care about the people around them, and they let those people know.
7. 'I understand'
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This phrase exemplifies being a strong listener, as the people who say this are utilizing active listening skills. As career and life management consultant Ruth Schimel explained, effective communication requires people to set their intentions for the interaction they're entering and clearly outline what they want to accomplish.
She advised people to show that they're truly listening by asking clarifying questions, paraphrasing what's being said, and identifying the emotions connected to the content of the conversation. Schimel also noted that becoming a good listener is a process that requires "time, attention, and consistency," which are all aspects of communication that people raised with proper manners excel in.
8. 'I trust your judgment'
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Because individuals with proper manners know that nothing happens in a vacuum, it's understood that one person can't control the outcome of any given project or situation. But they're willing to keep an open mind and place their trust in other people, because they know that's how true success is fostered.
Having good judgment is often based on having a strong moral compass and a high level of emotional intelligence, which means that someone pays attention to how their actions affect other people. These people are keenly aware that life is a team project, and that trusting others is essential to getting ahead.
9. 'That's so generous of you'
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According to a paper by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley, generosity is deeply rooted in human behavior. Generosity is strongly associated with psychological health and well-being, as studies have shown that people who practice volunteerism report having a greater quality of life. Having a strong sense of empathy and compassion for others is a requirement for generosity.
Whether it's "you're too kind" or "that's so generous of you," if someone was raised with proper manners, they'll make sure to use these phrases all the time. By expressing that they've noticed and appreciated another person's generosity, they show that they're paying close attention to how other people act. They genuinely believe in treating others the way they want to be treated.
10. 'I'm grateful for your input'
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People like this, who were raised to have proper manners, express gratitude for others' opinions even if they don't agree with them. They're open-minded enough to acknowledge other people's thought processes that differ from theirs. They take people's perspectives into consideration and don't shy away from letting them know how much they value knowing what they think.
They genuinely care about other people, which means they won't outright dismiss someone's idea just because it's new or different. They tell other people that they're grateful for their input, because they believe in the power of cooperation and collaboration to achieve their end-goals.
11. 'I apologize'
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The phrase "I apologize" may seem simple, but it's extremely powerful in showing respect and accepting responsibility for certain actions. When used by someone who was raised with proper manners uses it, they were usually taught to recognize when they made a mistake and acknowledge how their actions may affect others.
According to a 2025 study, apologies are an essential part of maintaining good relationships. Whether it's "I'm sorry" or "I apologize," these are known as "apology speech acts," or specific statements meant to repair social situations after misunderstandings. The study further determined that the phrase "I apologize" helps others recognize that the one saying sorry is taking responsibility and expressing regret for their actions.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
