8 Quiet Signs A Woman Is Genuinely Strong, Even If She Seems Gentle On The Surface
Michele Bergami | Unsplash We are blessed to be surrounded by strong women. Women who don't let anyone stop them from doing what is right and who persist through their struggles. But when the strong women we see in the media are powerhouses, it's easy to forget what strength means for the average woman who may, at first, appear as gentle as a lamb. We need to remember how amazing we are, even in our everyday lives, and regain confidence in ourselves to see how truly strong we are.
Here are 8 quiet signs a woman is genuinely strong, even if she seems gentle on the surface:
1. She's a survivor
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Survivors aren't just women who have endured physical or emotional abuse, assault, child abuse, or anything equally serious. Strong women aren't limited to cancer survivors and those who struggle to overcome physical or mental illness.
These women certainly are incredibly strong — stronger than most, even — but being a strong woman and a survivor also includes thriving when you have little support. Or when pushing through a negative situation to rise to the top and make it out alive and better for it.
2. She is successful in the ways that matter to her
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A strong woman is not afraid to take the risks needed to succeed. Whether it's in her love life or work life, she puts herself out there and is willing to make mistakes to get what she wants. Professor Madeline E. Heilman's studies on the penalties women incur for success in traditionally male areas help show it doesn't matter if society thinks she's "made it" — she will define success for herself.
3. She may be physically strong, too
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Sometimes, strength means she has the physical strength to climb the stairs instead of the escalator, and sometimes, strength means she can lift more than most men. She may even bring home Olympic gold.
Physical strength is great, but it's measured differently for all women, and it's certainly not a necessity to be considered a strong woman. Navigating the world in a wheelchair (or any type of disability) or adapting to the changing physicality of a condition, either mental or physical, is another way women may be strong, too.
4. She isn't afraid to be herself
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It's not that strong women don't care about others. Quite the opposite! She no longer cares if everyone likes her when she is being true to who she is. She realizes most people don't know who they are, so why should she let herself be bothered by what others think?
Research published in 2018 explained that true self-esteem comes from prioritizing inner values over others' approval and involves genuine self-worth, even while acknowledging personal weakness. A woman who has done the inner work to know herself doesn't waste energy performing for people who may never understand her anyway.
5. She keeps an open mind and listens to others
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She might not care what people think about her, but a strong woman isn't afraid to hear an opinion that differs from hers. It takes real security in who you are to genuinely consider a viewpoint that challenges your own. Research from the University of Pennsylvania found that open-minded people are actually more resistant to manipulation and less swayed by outside pressure than those who shut down opposing perspectives.
6. She is willing to carve her own path
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A strong woman realizes she doesn't have to follow any path but the one she chooses for herself. She is brave enough, strong enough, and smart enough to know what is right — and what isn't right for her. When people make choices according to their own interests and values rather than bending to external pressures, they experience greater vitality and overall life satisfaction. A genuinely strong woman understands she doesn't need permission to pursue what matters to her, and she's not waiting for someone else to validate the direction she's heading.
7. She strives to see the good in people
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A strong woman works on seeing the good in others and tries to keep that in mind — even when she feels surrounded by the bad of the world. When something unpleasant comes up, she tries to find ways to fix it instead of giving up.
While it might not be easy (is it ever?), she does her best. Choosing to look for the good and seeking ways to fix what's broken isn't just a nice personality trait. It's a form of low-key strength that keeps you moving forward when others might stay stuck.
8. She knows who she is
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She won't let anything get in her way of getting what she wants or stopping the things she doesn't. She knows what she likes and doesn't like and embraces her imperfections. Every woman has something different that makes them strong. Whether you're a corporate CEO, a stay-at-home mother, or single and finding your way in the world, the strength is inside you. You are brilliant. You are strong. You just have to discover it for yourself.
The YourTango Experts team includes licensed therapists, dating and life coaches, matchmakers, and more professionals committed to offering you the tools and guidance for a happier and more rewarding life.
