7 Habits Of Women That Indicate High-Level Charisma
Eko Agalarov | Canva When you create an emotional connection with someone, you spark a deeper physical chemistry, which gives a person time to assess whether there is any personality compatibility. When there is, he’s naturally curious and can’t wait to see you again. So here are some ways to ignite that “gotta see you” attitude through natural charisma and truly stand out. Here are the seven habits of women with high-level charisma:
1. They make people feel interesting
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Nothing shuts a guy down faster than not being able to tell if you are interested in him. So show your interest with the three magic words, “Tell me more,” while making friendly eye contact and touching him lightly on the hand or shoulder. Eye contact has been proven by research to lead to love, or at least initial interest. These small gestures signal that you're fully present and genuinely curious about what he has to say. People can feel when someone is engaged versus just going through the motions, and that authentic interest is magnetic.
2. They ask really good questions
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You can’t just be interested; you also have to be interesting. A great way to captivate his interest is to be unlike every other girl he’s had a first date with. To stand out, arm yourself with some really good questions he’s not used to hearing on the first date. This will create an engaging conversation that makes you both seem compelling. Another great way to start a conversation on a first date? Be transparent yourself.
A Harvard study found that people who ask more questions, particularly follow-up questions, are consistently better liked by people. The researchers noted that follow-up questions show you're actually listening and that you care about what the other person has to say.
3. They have an opinion
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Oh sure, guys like a girl who’s easygoing and friendly, but they also want to know you have a backbone and will stand up for what you believe in, and won’t put up with any trash from him either. Confidence (not aggressiveness or arrogance) is attractive. So whether he’s asking about what restaurant, which movie, or your political standing, avoid the “whatever you like” trap. State your honest opinion and allow him to meet your needs, too.
Research confirms that both men and women consistently rate confidence as one of the most attractive traits in a potential partner. But here's the thing: Confidence means being comfortable enough with yourself to express what you actually think and want. When you defer to "whatever you want" every time, it signals uncertainty, and people pick up on that.
4. They radiate passion
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Day-to-day life can be a little mind-numbing, so when you come along and excitedly share something meaningful that you're passionate about, you’ll light up and create a sense of aliveness between you.
A study in the Journal of Nonverbal Behavior found that expressive people are seen as more interesting and engaging because their energy catches our attention and feels more meaningful than a flat, guarded delivery. So don’t be shy. Share what matters most to you and why. Then ask him what he’s most passionate about, too. The extra energy this generates will create magnetic attraction.
5. They lead with kindness
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Talk isn’t all that matters. He’s watching your every move to see who you are. And what he wants is a partner who's great to come home to after a stressful day. So show him how supportive and friendly you are by being thoughtful and sweet to everyone around you, including wait staff, passersby, or others you interact with.
People are always watching how you treat others, and it turns out that really matters. Research has found that even small acts of generosity and kindness toward others make you significantly more attractive as a partner, especially when someone is looking for something long-term.
Researchers call this "public generosity," and it basically works like an honest preview of who you really are. The way you treat the waiter, the barista, or a stranger on the street tells people everything they need to know about what kind of partner you'd be.
6. They go with the flow
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Life can be enough of a drag without a partner who's all doom and gloom. While it’s obvious to keep the negativity out of your words, you also need to show him that you can take things in stride. So when things don’t go perfectly smoothly (the table service stinks, the movie's sold out, it rains on your mini-golf), he’ll be impressed when you’re the first one to say, “That’s okay, no worries. I’m having a great time with you anyway.”
7. They make things easy
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Guys can get a little gun-shy after being repeatedly rejected, so if you want to see him again, make it easy for him. Look him in the eye, smile radiantly, touch him gently, and say, “I had a great time tonight. I love how smart, thoughtful, and funny you are (or whatever is true).”
Psychologist Daniel Kahneman's research on the "peak-end rule" shows that people remember experiences based on the most emotionally intense moment and how things ended, not the sum of everything in between, and one of the most powerful principles in attraction research backs this up. It's called reciprocity, and it basically means we're naturally drawn to people who clearly like us back.
By opening the door for him, you’ll make it easy for him to ask you out for a second date. By stepping into your radiant, captivating, and passionate self on every date, you’ll invite more guys to notice what a great catch you are.
Jennifer Oikle, PhD, is a clinical psychologist and former contributor to GalTime.
