People Who've Survived Rock Bottom Usually Carry These 11 Unshakable Traits
Some of the strongest people you'll ever meet became that way because they survived the worst of the worst.
Josep Suria | Shutterstock Hitting rock bottom is a feeling that many people are familiar with. The deep anguish and sorrow that comes with reaching what is below what you believed to be your lowest point is one of the most demoralizing things you can experience. Still, there is hope. Nothing lasts forever, including pain, and there will always be a light at the end of the tunnel, even though the tunnel may seem never-ending.
People who've survived rock bottom usually carry certain unshakable traits and are some of the strongest people out there. Clinical psychologist Cynthia Shaw explained that hitting rock bottom means a person reaches damaging levels of low self-esteem, loneliness, anxiety, and depression. It’s not a place you want to be, but surviving it means you walk away with some pretty incredible traits that others might not have, or at least not have as abundantly.
People who've survived rock bottom usually carry these 11 unshakable traits
1. Resilience
Inside Creative House | Shutterstock
One of the most obvious traits that someone develops as a result of surviving rock bottom is a sense of resiliency. They know what it means to bounce back, and they carry that with them throughout their lives.
This will serve them well, because there's an awful lot in life that requires bouncing back. Resilient people don't stop moving forward, no matter how hard things get.
According to the Mayo Clinic, "When you have resilience, you harness the inner strength that helps you rebound from a setback or challenge, such as a job loss, an illness, a disaster, or a loved one's death. If you lack resilience, you might get stuck on problems or feel like a victim."
Being resilient also helps with some of the things that hitting rock bottom can cause. "Resilience can help protect you from mental health conditions, such as depression and anxiety," they added.
When you're resilient, you have the strength needed to face the challenges that come your way. A person who has survived rock bottom will definitely have this trait. They know what it's like to come back from the lowest of the low, and they know they can get through anything that life throws at them. They're brave, and they're not afraid to do the hard things.
2. Determination
Jose Calsina | Shutterstock
Because they've gone through the worst of the worst and have never let that stop them from reaching the other side, people who've survived rock bottom usually carry determination as one of the unshakable traits. Some might call them hard-headed, but they mean it in a good way. They're stubborn in a way that allows them to keep going and not quit because things get hard.
Experts from Walden University noted, "What happens if you run into obstacles on the path to your goal? You push through them or you blaze a new path. That's the thing about determination; it helps you keep going regardless of what's put in front of you. With determination, failure is just a diversion. It's not an end."
If someone is determined, they don't let setbacks stop them from doing whatever it is they need to do. That's exactly the kind of attitude that someone who has survived rock bottom would have. They've pushed through the hardest parts of life, so they know they can keep going and overcome whatever else comes up. Determination will help them face life's challenges.
3. Empathy
Sanja Miljevic | Shutterstock
It may seem like all of the traits that people who survive rock bottom develop would be more intrinsic and help them boost themselves as an individual. However, some of the traits these people pick up actually help them support others.
For example, they tend to be very understanding and empathetic. They know what it's like to go through hard times, so they want to be there for others who are doing the same. Their compassion runs deep.
Professor of social psychology Karina Schumann explained, "In general, empathy is a powerful predictor of things we consider to be positive behaviors that benefit society, individuals, and relationships. Scholars have shown across domains that empathy motivates many types of prosocial behaviors, such as forgiveness, volunteering, and helping, and that it's negatively associated with things like aggression and bullying."
Empathy is an essential ingredient for the human experience. People need to know that others are there for them and willing to lend a hand. Even just offering a listening ear can go a long way when someone is going through something challenging, and people who have survived rock bottom know how to do that.
4. Persistence
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
People who have survived rock bottom simply don't know what it means to quit. They never give up. They have been through some of the hardest things life has to offer, and they pulled through.
They bring this strength and courage into every aspect of their lives, choosing to never give up on anything, no matter how hard it gets or unlikely it may seem. Even the simplicity of living is a defiant act of never giving up to them.
Author and clinical psychologist Robert Puff wisely explained, "The difference between those who find happiness and those who don't is perseverance. We all face challenges and hardships, some more than others. But the key to happiness is never to give up, no matter what we face."
Life doesn't feel very happy when you're at rock bottom, and it often doesn't feel very happy when you're facing various challenges either. Still, the promise of happiness is real. Choosing to never give up and move through those hard things without letting them destroy you is the key to finding happiness.
5. Accepting of change
New Africa | Shutterstock
People who've survived rock bottom usually carry the unshakable trait of adaptability and rolling with the punches. They've already been through many challenges in life that have upended their world, so change is nothing new to them.
They are willing to accept it and move in sync with it instead of fighting it and trying to stop it. They know change is inevitable, and they don't get in its way.
"It is only when we embrace change that we remain open to new possibilities for growth, creativity, and innovation," said researcher and coach Jo Nash. She listed some of the benefits of embracing change as becoming more flexible, developing resilience, enlarging your perspective, and achieving more success.
Change is uncomfortable, and it's not really something anyone wants to go through. However, it can't be avoided. If someone has been at rock bottom before, they understand how quickly change can hit you and make you feel like you have whiplash. They also understand the value behind accepting that change for what it is and letting it happen instead of fighting against it. Beautiful things can grow from change.
6. Knowing what's important
Chay_Tee | Shutterstock
If someone has survived rock bottom, they have a good grasp of what's important. Their perspective will have changed entirely because of their experience with the lowest of lows. No longer will they be satisfied with surface-level connections.
Material possessions feel shallow to them and hold no real meaning. Instead, they're focused on a strong set of core values that includes the people and characteristics that are most important to them.
Berkeley Executive Education defined this as authenticity: "Authenticity comes from knowing what's important to you and remaining true to these values in the face of external pressures and expectations to think and behave a certain way. When you come from an authentic place, you are less likely to allow these external pressures to change who you truly are. This includes how you express yourself, who you connect with, and how you spend your time."
Someone who has experienced the worst life has to offer isn't going to come out of that chapter of their life ready to focus on the trivial. They'll be a lot more concerned with the people they love than how much money they have in their bank account. Having the best car, house, or vacation will feel meaningless compared to finding true happiness. Their perspective will be on the things that really matter.
7. Patience
fizkes | Shutterstock
One of the hardest things you can be faced with in life is waiting. Whether that means waiting for a circumstance to change or someone to come into your life, waiting can feel impossibly unfair. However, there is no better way to learn patience than by having to wait.
People who have survived rock bottom know this from firsthand experience. They had to actively wait for something bad to pass them by or for their situation to change so that it would be better. They understand that patience is essential if you want to make it through life's challenges.
"Patience may be the most important attribute you need to possess to make meaningful changes in your life because change is hard and slow," professor and psychology expert Jim Taylor said. "Without patience, you won't devote the time and energy necessary to allow those changes to emerge."
However, he also noted, "Yet, patience is in very short supply these days because the messages we get from our 'impatient' culture can be difficult to resist. So much of our lives today are governed by immediate access to whatever we want and instant gratification of our needs."
It's been said that patience is a virtue, and it's one that's becoming increasingly uncommon. People just don't know how to wait anymore, even when what they're waiting on is worth it. But if someone has hit rock bottom, they've had to exercise patience during the most difficult time of their life. They carry that patience with them and know how to apply it in life.
8. Gratitude
Gladskikh Tatiana | Shutterstock
If someone has survived rock bottom, they have definitely cultivated a deep sense of gratitude that's become unshakable. It's hard not to when you're faced with the absolute worst that life has to offer.
Coming back from that dark place shows you just how much you have to be grateful for. Being able to pick up the pieces and live a better life is a reason to be grateful. Most things will feel like a blessing after hitting rock bottom, and someone who has felt that horrible pain will be grateful for them.
Harvard Health explained, "In positive psychology research, gratitude is strongly and consistently associated with greater happiness. Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, relish good experiences, improve their health, deal with adversity, and build strong relationships."
Having gratitude can feel like a blessing in and of itself. There are so many negative things going on in the world, and in people's individual lives, so taking the time to appreciate the positive can really help a lot. A person who has hit rock bottom before has already been at their lowest point, and they know how much the little things really mean.
9. The ability to let go
Bricolage | Shutterstock
Some people hold on tightly to everything, whether it's good for them or not. They cling to control, grudges, and toxic people like that can save them. Letting go is just too hard for them, both literally and figuratively. They can't stand to lose things.
But people who have survived rock bottom have a different perspective. They're able to let things go when they no longer serve them, and they understand why they have to do so.
"Certain things in life are beyond what any of us can control," psychologist Itai Ivtzan said. "Instead of spending time worrying about these variables, focus your energy and attention on what you have the power to influence or change. If something doesn't fall into that category, let it go."
People who have been through it know that they don't have the power to change certain situations, and that worrying doesn't actually make anything better. Instead, they just let things go. They don't let negative circumstances change who they are, and they don't stop functioning when things are going badly. Instead, they just let it go and surrender. This is much more effective.
10. Purpose
Antonio Guillem | Shutterstock
Someone who has survived rock bottom probably came out of that situation with a much deeper sense of purpose than what they had before. In our fast-paced world, it's so easy to go through the motions and just get caught up in the day-to-day minutiae.
Instead of really living a life you're proud of that allows you to thrive, we tend to get used to just getting by. A person who has seen rock bottom knows that there is more to life than this.
A study published in Aging, Neuropsychology, and Cognition found that having a sense of purpose is linked to better cognitive functioning. Another study published in Psychological Science concluded that people who have a strong sense of purpose actually live longer than people who don't.
It's hard to focus on your purpose. In fact, it's pretty easy to lose sight of it completely. But people who have faced the worst of the worst know that their life has purpose and it's worth discovering more of what it is everyday.
Instead of just getting caught up in what they have to do or need to do, these people see beyond that. They want to live meaningful, impactful lives that fulfill their purpose.
11. Finding joy
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
One of the best things about people who have survived rock bottom is that they seek to find joy in all that they do. They have experienced the lowest point they'll ever see, and they don't want to go back to it.
They know the importance of finding joy in life to avoid getting dragged down by life's difficulties. Instead of being satisfied with just getting through life, they want to truly enjoy it.
The Mayo Clinic reported that most people are not feeling joyful. Instead, 27% of American adults said they experience so much stress on a daily basis that they find it hard to function. Another 75% had a symptom of stress, like fatigue or headache, in the past month.
"Joy is a powerful emotion and harnessing it can be a remedy for stress-related burnout," they said. "Contentment and joy can positively improve physical and mental health and overall well-being."
So many of us have fallen victim to the stress that permeates everyday life. In the midst of this stress, it's hard to feel the joy that we're all desperate for. People who have survived rock bottom don't let anything stop them from finding that joy. After all they've been through, they are determined to live the best life possible and experience as much happiness as they can.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
