People Who Choose Solitude Over Chaos As They Get Older Always Embrace These 11 Quiet Joys
For many people, life becomes too precious to worry about drama rather than celebrate joy.
simona pilolla 2 / Shutterstock Not everyone is fond of drama and loud, bustling environments. Despite what extroverts may think, there are people out there who thrive on silence and time spent alone. These people, especially those who choose solitude over chaos as they get older, make sure to embrace quiet joys so they get the most they possibly can out of life.
Life is full of challenges, making it tough for anyone to find things to feel happy about at times. But those who have made a conscious decision to focus on what brings them joy find themselves cherishing their time to themselves more and more as they learn how valuable these moments are for their overall well-being.
People who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace these 11 quiet joys
1. Slow mornings
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People who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace the quiet joy of slow mornings. Now, not everyone enjoys the morning. If given the choice, many would rather sleep in than wake up early. However, it’s because of this thought process that they struggle a lot compared to everyone else.
According to physician Susan Biali Haas, M.D., “Not surprisingly, burnout or other mental or physical health challenges will often emerge” when people rush in the morning. This is why people who choose solitude over chaos almost always take it easy. Even if that means waking up early, it doesn’t matter. In their eyes, their peace of mind is worth more than anything else in this world.
2. Setting emotional boundaries
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If someone truly wants a beautiful life, it takes hard work. As uncomfortable as it may sound, hard conversations need to be had if you truly want to embrace a life of solitude. Thankfully, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older already know this, which is why they embrace the quiet joy of emotional boundaries.
On the surface, it may sound unusual. After all, who would find joy in boundaries, right? However, those who used to be people pleasers already know how amazing it feels to advocate for oneself. Even if it is intimidating, going from having no emotional boundaries to cutting people off for disrespecting those boundaries, it’s a silent joy that people gladly embrace if it means choosing a life of solitude.
So, as difficult as it may be, keep on pushing. While some misunderstand you, others will give you the privacy and space necessary to be your best self.
3. Spending time in nature
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It’s unfortunate, but too many people aren’t connecting with the world around them. So burned out from their job or relationship, they barely make enough time to take a step outside. And while their exhaustion is understandable, it doesn’t stop people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older from embracing the quiet joy of spending time in nature.
There’s something about nature that soothes the soul. No matter how anxious or annoyed someone is, stepping into nature automatically gives them more appreciation for solitude.
However, this isn’t surprising, as people who have a lower connection to nature tend to experience fewer mental health benefits, according to a study published in 2024. So, even if you're busy, try to go out for a walk when you can, preferably alone. While it may sound like a drag, connecting with one’s surroundings is better for your mental health than you might think.
4. Reading and reflecting
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Solitude can be good for multiple reasons. Whether it’s recharging one’s energy after an exhausting day or getting away from the ruckus of those around them, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace the quiet joy of reading and reflecting.
It sounds entirely too simple, but something is calming about sitting down with a book and reflecting on someone else’s life. Even if it’s only for thirty minutes, taking a step back and immersing oneself in a world of fantasy is the greatest way to detach from those around them.
As long as they remember to socialize every once in a while, solitude with a book and just their thoughts is another effective way to maintain their sanity.
5. A peaceful home
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If there’s one thing a person who chooses solitude over chaos is always going to do, it’s create a peaceful home. It doesn’t matter how difficult it may seem. Even if it means cutting off those closest to them, those who truly want peace are willing to go to great lengths to achieve it.
And while many people misunderstand those who choose solitude, their need to maintain peace isn’t necessarily a bad thing. As psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D., explained, “When you’re at peace — when you are engaged with life while also feeling relatively relaxed, calm, and safe — you are protected from stress, your immune system grows stronger, and you become more resilient.“
So, while it may be hard to cut people off, if it means keeping their at-home life in check, then those who refuse chaos will always do what’s necessary, even if it hurts in the moment.
6. Selective company
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People who choose solitude over chaos as they get older embrace the quiet joy of selective company. It isn’t always easy to find people they click with. Call them picky, but when choosing peace, they need to make sure their cards are aligned.
Often, this means that those who choose solitude are lonelier than those who do not. With few friends who truly understand them, they’ve opted to spend most of their time with selective company and the rest by themselves.
Is it always the most comfortable option available? Of course not. While maintaining their peace is beneficial, cutting off most of their circle is likely to leave them feeling lonely. However, if they can push through and find one or two good friends, those who choose solitude over chaos almost always end up thriving.
7. Mindful routines
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When going about their day, most people aren’t thinking about what they’re doing. On autopilot mode, they wake up, get dressed, skip breakfast, and drive to work, all while zoning out. However, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace the quiet joy of a mindful routine.
Sure, they might be grumpy in the morning, but throughout their daily lives, they’re finding ways to reflect, meditate, or take strategic breaks in between the chaos. Even if it feels impossible at first, those who choose solitude as they get older are always finding ways to stay grounded.
As an expert in writing and creativity, Diana Raab, Ph.D., said, “Grounding our energy can be helpful when we feel either unbalanced or nervous.” So, even if it’s hard, finding a way to be mindful of what you’re doing helps us make better decisions that either make or break our inner peace.
8. Having gratitude for the present
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It’s easy to take life for granted. Even if people don’t necessarily mean to, getting used to privilege has a way of dulling us to just how bad life can get. That being said, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace gratitude for the present.
It isn’t always easy, but they decide to find the silver lining. Even if it’s something small, people who choose solitude understand that being grateful is the single best thing they can do for their mental health. Of course, it isn’t always easy. Nowadays, many people find themselves with fewer and fewer things to look forward to. However, even if it’s just for being alive, gratitude goes a long way in keeping their spark alive.
9. Rediscovering hobbies
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In the past, there might’ve been a million hobbies people engaged in. Whether it was writing or sewing, these hobbies brought people a bit of joy, leading to them feeling less alone and more grounded in their daily lives. However, the older people get, the more responsibilities they’re given. And while this is just another part of life, many people let go of their hobbies in favor of conserving their energy. In the moment, it might seem like the only way to survive the burnout they’re experiencing.
Yet, according to Chief Medical Officer Srini Pillay, M.D., it might just make them more miserable, as hobbies have a huge impact on happiness. He explained, “Hobbies please people. And when they do, they not only make you feel better, but they improve your physiology too.” Thankfully, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace the quiet joy of rediscovering hobbies, which is why they’re happy despite their solitude.
10. Taking digital breaks
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It’s all too easy to get consumed by your phone. Without meaning to, people can spend hours doomscrolling on TikTok when they are really supposed to be studying. Still, social media is highly distracting, and many people lack the discipline to balance their digital life with their real life.
Thankfully, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace taking digital breaks. They know how toxic social media has gotten. From nasty Instagram comments to breaking news happening every hour, it can be exhausting even for the strongest person.
This is why people who choose solitude put down their phones and reconnect with their environment and the people they care about. While it might be difficult at first, finding ways to ground themselves is the little thing that brings them the most joy.
11. Sitting in silence
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Finally, people who choose solitude over chaos as they get older always embrace the quiet joy of sitting in silence. Sure, it sounds utterly boring to some, but there’s something peaceful about silence.
Whether it’s after a long day of work or recovering from burnout, silence is exactly what people need to reconnect to themselves. As former psychotherapist Atalanta Beaumont explained, “Silence stimulates brain growth, relieves tension, is more relaxing, enhances sleep, improves focus, and restores cognitive resources.”
So, while some people force themselves to socialize or refuse to set boundaries in fear of coming off as too demanding, those who enjoy solitude make their needs known so that they can get the joy that they need.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
