If You Notice These 11 Things In Someone's Living Room, They're Lonely But Won't Say It
Leszek Glasner | Shutterstock Loneliness isn't always the most obvious feeling to notice in someone else. Most of the time, people can be really good at hiding the fact that they're not doing well, whether that's plastering on a fake smile and keeping their appearance pristine so that no one questions how they're doing on the inside. But you can almost immediately tell when someone is hanging on by a thread based on how their home looks. For example, a person's living room can be a good insight into their mental state.
Unfortunately, if you notice certain things in someone's living room, they're lonely but won't say it. While a living room might seem "perfect" when you enter someone's home, when you look deeper, you can quickly tell a lot about their alone time. It doesn't mean you have to enter their home with an air of judgment, but rather trying to understand and eventually lend a helping hand if they need it. You never want a lonely person to feel as if they're the anomaly for feeling this way; instead, you want to be empathetic.
If you notice these 11 things in someone's living room, they're lonely but won't say it
1. Sparse furniture
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If you walk into someone's living room to the fact that they don't seem to have a lot of furniture, it can be the leading clue into their mental state. It's not that they're trying to be minimal on purpose, but that the space wasn't made for anyone else besides them to be there.
There may be a couch, a random chair, and a coffee table tossed in for good measure, but that's about it. There's no warmth to their living room, and that's usually because the individual in question most likely spends their time all alone.
"For the modern single person, acknowledging loneliness is taboo. Many singles want to appear strong, independent, and capable, and being 'lonely' is often assumed to convey the opposite," explained psychotherapist Leah Aguirre. "But you can be strong, independent, and capable and experience loneliness. These things can co-exist."
A giant, empty room highlights that no one lives here but them, but also that no one else spends time in this room but them as well. Over time, being in a space all the time where you're reminded of the lack of human connection that you have can make things so much worse.
You don't have to go out and spend money on a lavish arrangement, but just adding some personal touches can make the biggest difference.
2. Forgotten board games
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Usually, board games are meant to be played in a loud room with your friends or family. It's the best way to connect with people and be sociable. But when a lonely person just has a stack of board games in the corner of the room that clearly look untouched, it's a subtle hint that there's just no one around to actually play with them.
Someone might have bought them hoping for fun game nights and memories to make, but the fact that some of them still have the plastic around them shows that it's just not happening. They're simply not having enough interactions with people that they might've been hoping for.
It's a desire that they want to have that connection with other people, but either they don't know how to get it or they're just too caught up in their feelings of loneliness to try. Nine times out of ten, the people in their lives are probably waiting for the invitation to come over and play some board games.
3. Curtains always closed
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If you notice the curtains are always closed in someone's living room, they're lonely but won't say it. And while it's perfectly fine to have the curtains closed to want a bit of privacy or to block out the sun, especially on a particularly hot summer day, sometimes a person having their curtains closed when they don't necessarily need to be can signal that they just don't want to have any type of interaction with the outside world.
When they're shut all the time, it's about being able to avoid the visibility of even glancing at people walking past. It can be their subconscious shield with the fact that they're fine with being alone, even if they do feel lonely often.
It might not seem like that big of a deal, but even just opening your curtains every morning can make the biggest difference in how you feel. Whether or not you're planning on even going outside that day, an open curtain invites a bit of comfort.
4. Neglected surfaces
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If you walk into someone's living room, glance at their coffee table or bookshelves, and notice there's a thin layer of dust that seems more than just forgetting to clean up a little, it can sometimes be about more than just not having time to clean. It's not as if the person in question is messy at all, but that there's just no one around to clean up for, even if they're just inviting friends or family over to spend time with them.
In a poll from the American Psychiatric Association, 30% of adults say they have experienced feelings of loneliness at least once a week over the past year, while 10% say they are lonely every day. Considering how common loneliness has become amongst many people, it's not surprising that you may end up noticing a bit of dust around someone's living room. It's usually pointing to something much deeper.
5. Random art leaning instead of hanging
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When you walk into a lonely person's living room and notice that most of their art work and frames are just leaning haphazardly against the wall, it can clue you into the fact that they aren't too concerned with making their living room inviting to guests. This might be because they aren't having that many people over.
In the same way that they're furniture might be sparse or their board games sitting untouched in the corner of the room, it could also be the reason why they haven't bothered to hang their decor.
When it's just leaning against the wall, it's not really grabbing anyone's attention. The room isn't being curated for enjoyment or socialization, but rather they just don't have the energy to make their living room have a bit of character, and this might be due to spending all their time sequestered and alone.
6. TV left on constantly
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Sometimes, when a person is leaving their TV on all the time, even when they're not actively sitting in front to watch or even when they're not in the room at all, it can be a sign that they don't know how to cope with complete silence. Being in a quiet environment all the time can be hard when they're already battling with the feelings of loneliness.
"In our fast-paced, hyperconnected world, silence can feel unnatural. Whether we're scrolling through social media or engaged in a conversation, we're used to constant stimulation. Quiet moments interrupt that rhythm, leaving us face-to-face with our thoughts, and sometimes, that's the last place we want to be," pointed out licensed psychologist Michele Leno.
So the TV becomes this steady comfort where they can hear the voices of other people to give the illusion that they're in good company. They're craving some kind of connection, even in the simplest form of their TV. Rather than actually being able to reach out to anyone, they enjoy being able to have something to focus on even if they're in their living room all alone.
7. Constantly rearranging but never hosting
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These individuals are constantly moving things around and shuffling around their furniture and decor, but they're never actually inviting people over. It might just be their way of attempting to look productive or feel engaged with their space, but there's actually zero socialization happening.
If you notice rearranged furniture that's never used to host guests in someone's living room, they're lonely but won't say it. The effort into making their space presentable and welcome might sound good in theory, but they might not actually want to pull the plug and invite people over.
This could be for a plethora of reasons, including being stuck in their lonely mindset. While it can be scary to send out invitations, especially if you have a fear of rejection, the best way to get over that fear is, honestly, to just do it. You'd be surprised at the response from the people in your life when you finally do.
"As we become more confident that we can be with whatever experience arises as a result of connecting with people, we can initiate, deepen, and enjoy relationships in a more relaxed and fulfilling way. As we become less afraid of what we're experiencing inside — that is, less afraid of ourselves — we become less intimidated by rejection and more empowered to love and be loved," encouraged licensed marriage and family therapist John Amodeo.
8. An empty bar cart
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A lonely person may have their bar cart sitting in the corner of their living room, polished and everything perfectly in place, but when you actually notice it more, you see that it's completely empty.
Bar carts are inherently social as it invites people to drink and converse with each other. When one is just sitting empty, it can be a sign that the amount of people in their living room is few and far in between. The absence of the bottles, glasses, and different mixers can be just as telling.
This individual may care about keeping up appearances, but not enough to make it a reality. Maybe they purchased the bar cart with hopes of hosting all of their friends and having fun nights where they would make cool, interesting cocktails. But then life got in the way, and now they're sitting in their own feelings of loneliness despite this innate hope of having even a semblance of connection.
9. Piles of unopened books
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If you notice piles of unopened books in someone's living room, they're lonely but won't say it. These are books that are still sealed up, clearly not having been touched since they were bought, or they're half-read books that were just cast aside.
These piles of unopened books aren't really ever just a sign of the fact that this person enjoys reading, but about the fact that they most likely spend a lot of time in solitude. Without the chance to actually discuss these books with other people, they instead end up collecting dust in the crevices of their living room.
On the other hand, someone could have all these books as a way to hope that reading will eventually distract them from the fact that they're so isolated. They hope to just get lost in the pages, and that isn't an abnormal reality either.
According to a poll released by the Publishers Association, people turn to books and reading as a form as escapism. Second only to watching TV (54%), 33% of respondents say that books offer them the best form of escapism when they are having a bad day.
10. Blank walls where photos of people should be
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Rather than walking into someone's living room and seeing photos of their loves ones hung up all around the room, it's sparse. There's no hint of the relationships that they have in their life.
Considering photos often tell a story without having to say anything, including the memories that you have with friends or moments with family members that were digitally captured, when those are missing it can be a huge clue into how lonely someone might be feelings.
A living room without photos can be an absence that people can't help but notice. It can really emphasize just how empty the room might feel.
The individual in question might not even feel any motivation to hang them in the first place or celebrate relationships that maybe don't exist. In a way, the blank walls and empty picture frames become the telltale sign of their own solitude.
11. Coasters stacked but never used
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They might have all of their coasters perfectly arranged and even matching the decor of their home, but when you look closer you notice that they never really use them except maybe one. And that one coaster that they use is just for them.
The lack of used coasters shows that it's because no one is really using them. They're never having people over enough of the time to even take them out.
Considering coasters are meant to be used when having guests over and is often a marker of just how social someone might be, the lack of them being used can say the complete opposite. They may care enough to have the coasters in the first place, because they maybe thought they'd have an excessive amount of people over.
But now, that reality is not actually happening. Instead, the coasters are there to remind them just how lonely they may feel.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
