If You Notice These 11 Little Things In A Man's House, He's Not Taking Very Good Care Of Himself
He may be struggling silently, but these signs can be red flags.
Lopolo | Shutterstock Even though we've come a long way in overcoming certain mental health stereotypes and stigmas socially, men still often struggle in silence with things like depression and anxiety. According to a study from the Canadian Journal of Psychiatry, they're not only less likely to talk about their mental health, but they're also the least likely demographic to actually seek support when they need it.
So, even if they're not talking about it with you, if you notice these little things in a man's house, he's not taking very good care of himself. It's often a perfect storm for struggling men — they're stressed out in life, don't have the regulation or communication skills to work through mental health struggles early, and often suppress, repress, and avoid the complexities that isolate them completely. Don't be afraid to be a helping hand, even if you're not directly asked for help.
If you notice these 11 little things in a man's house, he's not taking very good care of himself
1. He has piles of laundry everywhere
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Like a study from Psychological Science suggests, when you do mundane tasks like chores that often don't require a certain level of brainpower or critical thinking to complete, you give yourself a break. Your brain has a chance to rest, reflect, and regulate your emotions without the burdens of stress or work from the task.
However, if you're struggling with emotional overwhelm and depression, but also not making space for these daily rituals — largely because the two are interconnected — chances are you feel worse off. Of course, the motivation and energy to complete things like laundry is the hardest part for people already struggling, but if that's you, let this be your sign: the chores mean something deeper than "being clean."
2. His sheets are clearly unwashed
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According to a Gallup poll, single men are less likely to be "hygienic" when it comes to basic things like washing their sheets compared to their married or female counterparts. However, if you notice little things like clearly unwashed sheets regularly in a man's house, he's not taking very good care of himself.
While experts suggest that washing your sheets every other week is the most hygienic and effective way to operate, even a routine monthly swap and wash can promote better sleep quality, hygiene, and well-being. It's these small tasks and little things that we often overlook easily in the face of stress or emotional overwhelm, but that can truly make a difference in our overall mental health and physical well-being.
3. The bathroom mirror is foggy
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Even the things he notices and uses every single day, like the bathroom mirror, are being neglected. Even if the spotty, cloudy, foggy mirror in his bathroom is nearly unusable, he'd rather suffer the lessened quality and usage of it than take the time to clean it.
Of course, depression can often make finding the motivation to clean your home much harder, as your brain struggles to navigate the internal and emotional chaos it's facing. So, while it might seem like a choice, it's usually just a sign that he's struggling to truly take care of himself, especially without anyone around to motivate him.
4. There's no fresh food at home
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Finding fresh foods like produce and quality meat at an affordable price can be difficult for many Americans to source. However, if there are only remnants of take-out containers and processed foods in a man's house, he's probably not taking very good care of himself.
Whether it's a financial issue or a personal mental health concern, tailoring his grocery routine, overeating overly processed foods, only exacerbates and adds to the depression and anxiety he's likely already facing.
5. He keeps the blinds closed all day
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According to a study published in the Journal of Affective Disorders, regular exposure to natural light often improves general well-being and mental health. Even if it's going for a quick walk outside during the work day or choosing a chair in the living room with exposure to light from outside, these small habits are powerful for boosting our mood and motivation.
However, if you notice that the blinds are closed all day or it's incredibly dark in a man's house, he's probably not taking very good care of himself. Not only is the lack of light keeping him from boosting his own mood at home and reaping the benefits of the outdoors, but he's probably using the darkness as an excuse to retreat and avoid others.
6. His trash is overflowing
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Like a pile of old laundry or a clearly full sink of dishes, an overflowing trash can is one of the obvious ways to tell that someone's not taking care of themselves. Even the simplest tasks, like walking the trash outside, feel impossible for someone struggling with depression.
It's not necessarily about self-discipline or sheer motivation, because they literally don't have the brain power available or the energy to expend completing them.
7. His towels are clearly overused
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Of course, most experts argue that you should never reuse your bath towels more than once, because of the lingering bacteria that often live on them after their use. However, some people have made it a habit that they're unwilling to break, especially if it saves them a little bit of money and time to reuse them once or twice.
However, if you notice clearly overused towels in a man's house — a bath towel that's been washed a handful of times in its entire lifetime — he's probably not taking very good care of himself. If he can't make time for basic hygiene rituals or boost his energy enough for chores, larger acts of self-care are likely also being overlooked.
8. There's clutter everywhere
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Whether it's a sign they're struggling to clean up after themselves or an unsettling reminder that they haven't left the house in several days, if you see clutter everywhere in a man's house, he's probably not taking very good care of himself.
Of course, cleaning up a home and staying on top of everyday chores often feels like an impossible "full-time job" for people already managing a million professional and personal responsibilities. So, just because there's clutter doesn't mean someone's depressed, but it can be both a cause and a symptom for people suffering in silence.
9. There are remnants of fast food
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People who follow relatively healthy diets often have a lowered risk for developing and experiencing symptoms of depression, while those already suffering tend to invest in more unhealthy, overly processed, and convenient eating habits.
Whether it's ordering take-out all the time, leveraging DoorDash at the expense of financial stability, or stretching meals to avoid grocery shopping, if you notice remnants of these habits in a man's house, he's probably not taking very good care of himself.
10. Everything feels rigid and cold
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Even if it seems insignificant, our living spaces need to feel like a safe space. Even if it's a comfortable corner in a home to decompress or a shared space that promotes relaxation, coming home to unwind requires a healthy space to do it in.
If you're coming home to a rigid space that feels isolated, stressful, or anxiety-inducing, chances are you're going to avoid the alone time and rest you need to thrive. So, if you notice that there's no space for someone to unwind at home and it feels generally unwelcoming, it could be a sign that they're not taking care of themselves.
11. There are broken things everywhere
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Whether it's a broken appliance he meant to fix or an unfinished hobby project sitting with dust in the corner, these kinds of things are a sign of the lack of energy, motivation, and excitement a person silently struggling has in their routine. Even if it seems a little bit "woo woo" to think about, these broken things and unfinished projects are a sign of neglect.
Every time someone sees them, they're a stressful reminder of something on the to-do list or an unsettling reminder of neglectful energy. So, if you notice these small things in a man's house, chances are he's not taking very good care of himself, and the energy of his living space isn't helping the matter.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
