10 Little Things Men Do Differently When They Actually Respect Women
Good men aren't performative about the respect they show all women.
fizkes | Shutterstock It's no secret what it looks like when men may be attracted to women but have zero respect for them. Things like talking over them during conversations, making inappropriate comments at their expense, and only being kind or friendly to them when they only want something in return from them is disrespectful. True respect isn't conditional and isn't just extended to people that you find attractive; rather, respect is something you give to everyone, no matter their relationship to you or what they could possible offer you in return.
The little things men do differently when they actually respect women make a big difference. Men who actually respect and hold space for women as regular human beings are able to do so even when no one is watching. They aren't performative about it nor do they expect any sort of praise for doing the bare minimum and treating women like their equals. Their actions are rooted in the belief that women deserve the same level of consideration and empathy that they would show to anyone else.
Here are 10 little things men do differently when they actually respect women
1. They don't mansplain
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Men who truly respect women don't feel the need to dominate conversations or explain topics in a patronizing and condescending way, especially about things that women are already educated and knowledgeable about. They don't just assume that a woman wants their input unless she's asking for it.
"Mansplaining refers specifically to a situation where a man explains something to a woman, often in a condescending, patronizing, or dismissive manner, under the assumption that she doesn't understand or lacks knowledge — regardless of whether or not she actually does. It's rooted in a history of gender inequality and reflects the broader power dynamic where men, historically and socially, are assumed to have more authority or expertise," explained psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis.
Instead of speaking at women, these men will engage in respectful and productive dialogue with them, where they speak and allow women to have a turn to speak as well. They aren't simply trying to dominate because they can.
2. They value consent in every situation
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Respectful men understand that consent isn't just for romantic or physical boundaries, but exists in other areas of life as well. From workplace interactions, to social settings involving certain topics that women might not be comfortable with, these men are aware that mutual comfort and clear communication needs to be had to ensure that nothing is taken the wrong way.
Consent is so much more than waiting for that verbal confirmation as well. It's about being able to read someone's body language and never pushing or trying to guilt-trip when a woman doesn't say "yes." Licensed couples counselor Kari Rusnak explained, "When boundaries are pushed, it creates a negative experience, which damages trust and connection in the relationship. Consent is important for safety..."
3. They challenge other men
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One of the little things men do differently when they actually respect women isn't such a minor action. When men truly respect women, they don't allow their male friends to speak and act disrespectfully, inappropriately, or in any misogynistic way without directly addressing it.
They're able to understand that turning a blind eye or even laughing at the jokes made by their male friends that they argue are only "harmless" only reinforces that kind of behavior. While most men support gender equality, a lot of them don't have that same energy when it comes to public allyship.
One study from Equimundo has shown that 77% of men believe they are doing all they can to support gender equality, while only 41% of women agree. Men must do more to speak up and call out the bad behavior from their male counterparts, especially if they truly have respect for women and women's rights.
4. They actually ask and consider a woman's opinion
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These men won't just ask a woman her thoughts just to appear polite, but will actually seek out and listen with genuine curiosity and a willingness to understand. If it's a topic that they may not know much about, when a woman starts to explain it to them, they won't suddenly become threatened that they're not the smartest person in the room. They don't dismiss or try to one-up a woman in a conversation.
Instead, they're able to grasp that listening with intention goes hand-in-hand with respect, as well as being able to consider someone else's opinion, even if they might not necessarily agree with it. Psychotherapist David W. Johnson insisted that to be able to solve problems and resolve conflicts, people need to take in others' perspectives.
"Doing so will help them get a clear understanding of all sides of the issue, an accurate assessment of their validity and relative merits, and the ability to think creatively to come up with the potential solutions that maximize joint outcomes and fulfill the interests of all participants," he said.
5. They don't expect emotional labor from women
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Women are often seen as the people that everyone else, especially men, can lean on for emotional support without ever having others reciprocate that same energy for them. Respectful men know not to depend on women to fix their issues and be there to soothe their egos.
They're able to take on the responsibility of managing their emotions and showing up in a relationship with the same level of emotional maturity and awareness that they expect from the other person. They make the effort to share the load instead of dumping it on a woman's shoulder and expecting her to carry it on her own.
Research from the Psychology of Woman Journal has shown that emotional labor disproportionately affects and is expected of women. Because of this, many women have reported feeling emotional exhaustion and diminished motivation to follow their aspirations and goals.
6. They can acknowledge a woman's accomplishments without surprise
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When a woman succeeds or lands an impressive accomplishment, whether it's getting a promotion, leading a team on a presentation, or demonstrating a skill that leads to real impact being made, men who respect women won't react with surprise or even skepticism. They'll congratulate women who excel and recognize that her success was earned through hard work and nothing else.
They don't try to diminish their accomplishments with backhanded compliments or false sincerity. They celebrate their wins with the same amount of enthusiasm and glee as they would with their male counterparts because they're not only able to accept a woman's capabilities but they don't make assumptions.
7. They treat all women with kindness, not just those they're attracted to
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Of all the little things men do differently when they actually respect women, treating them with kindness is a subtle but essential action. Most of the time, some men will argue that they respect women because they have a girlfriend or wife. How can they be inherently misogynistic if they are attracted to women?
However, just because men are attracted to women doesn't mean it automatically warrants respect. It's the same with being in a relationship with a woman. It doesn't mean you view her as an equal just because you sleep beside her every night.
True respectful men are consistent with the kindness they show women, even if they know there's no possibility of a romantic connection. Whether it's a complete stranger or a friend of a friend, they will show the same compassion and care as they would with their girlfriend or wife. They understand that decency shouldn't have strings attached.
8. They don't mock 'girly' things
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When it comes to things like astrology, rom-coms, romance novels, and certain pop artists and songs, disrespectful men belittle the things that have an audience of majority women, and it's incredibly misogynistic. They may deem these interests as "less serious" than the interests of men "due to the prioritization of men's interests in society."
But men who respect women don't diminish certain things just because women happen to enjoy it and they don't treat traditionally "girly" activities as something that's boring and uninteresting. They're able to recognize that personal taste is subjective, and that choosing to mock things that women like usually means you're mocking women.
They'll remain open-minded and at least give hobbies and activities that women enjoy the benefit of the doubt before making up their mind.
9. They're mindful of physical space
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There's nothing worse than sitting down on a bus, train, or even plane, and the man sitting beside you is not being mindful of how much physical space they're taking up. The little things men do differently when they actually respect women include being mindful of how much space they're taking up as they maneuver through the world and not wanting women to ever feel uncomfortable or boxed in.
They don't crowd women in public spaces, spread out unnecessarily on public transportation, or stand too close to women during conversations to the point where they start to feel uneasy. Being mindful of physical space isn't just about making sure that you're polite but also being able to create an environment where women are able to feel safe.
10. They don't get defensive when women talk about inequality
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Respectful men are able to understand that when women are talking about their experiences with inequality, misogyny, and harassment perpetuated against them by men, they're talking about patriarchy as a whole and the men who have yet to acknowledge their privilege and inherent bias.
They don't respond with "not all men," or become extremely defensive because they have enough comfortability with themselves to know that they don't necessarily either fit into that category or they're actively doing the work to make sure they're unlearning those practices.
They will instead give women the safe space to speak about their experiences and will take the time to actually absorb the information they're hearing. They're able to recognize that centering their feelings only derails the conversation and invalidates women's own feelings and experiences.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
