11 Small Ways Brilliant Women No Longer Tolerate Disrespect That Are Obvious To Everyone Around Them
A woman who starts acting this way didn't change, she just remembered who she was.
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A / Shutterstock Society may have us think that brilliant women are few and far between, but the truth is that, for many women, their brilliance has always been there, hiding behind layers of poor treatment. The paradigm shifts when they begin to understand their worth and decide that they will no longer tolerate disrespect.
As their boundaries become clearer, their presence becomes more noticeable. To the outside world, this transformation can feel magnetic and unsettling. People will notice that these women no longer laugh off dehumanizing humor made at their expense and walk away from people who try to provoke a reaction out of them. It can be an astounding feat to watch when they redefine what power really looks like as these changes become obvious to those around them.
Here are 11 small ways brilliant women no longer tolerate disrespect that are obvious to everyone around them
1. They stop laughing at disrespectful jokes
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What once made them giggle out of awkwardness no longer affects them in the same way and now they consider dehumanizing humor to be punching down on other people. They immediately remind themselves that they wouldn't want others to disrespect them in the same way. They don't tolerate being made a mockery of because they have a sense of self-respect.
This is a stark difference between the tolerance levels of men and women when it comes to humor. Studies have consistently shown that women tend to find jokes about women humor more offensive than men do. Research from Costa Rica found that women reported a greater likelihood to confront inappropriate and disrespectful jokes compared to men.
This is because women have been conditioned to normalize offensive humor even if they don't find it particularly amusing. They get made fun of for being a stick in the mud or not being able to take a joke. It's refreshing when a brilliant woman stands on her principles and tells others the truth, which is that you're not that funny.
2. They correct others when their name is mispronounced
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It's not rude when women correct others regarding how to pronounce their name. This is actually an act of asserting their identity. A woman's name is one of the most important things about her and can tell you a lot about her story, including where she came from and if she shares any traits with the meaning of her name.
To dismiss this is a rejection of the person, which can cause problems, especially within the workplace. Learning a person's name is a sign of respect and brilliant women know this. It's why they take the extra time to correct someone if they don't say their names right.
3. They no longer apologize for having boundaries
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When women begin to see their worth, they set firm boundaries and no longer allow others to disrespect them. Everything that they put up with up until this point has been a painful lesson. These women begin to realize that there's peace in silence and seclusion. They no longer go out of their way to make other people comfortable at the risk of their own happiness.
Instead of being passive and allowing others to control the conversations, brilliant women assert themselves. A study published in Psychological Reports found that women with high self-esteem preferred direct and assertive communications styles. This is due to women having greater self-worth as they gain more confidence.
Setting the tone for how others treat them is one way brilliant women stand on their boundaries. They don't over-explain or apologize for simply existing. They have learned their lesson that accepting too little from a situation will get them nowhere. It's only through trial and error that women learn to not let others overstep on their boundaries.
4. They walk away from conversations that drain them
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Women are often expected to absorb all of the energy that comes their way. When they get overwhelmed by this daunting realization, they begin to walk away from things that drain too much time and energy from them because they have so little of it left available.
A study from the Spring Source Center found that women who engage in self-silencing may withdraw from conversations that demand excessive emotional labor to protect their mental health. Self care practices and setting hard boundaries can work, but for some women the only thing they can do to keep their peace of mind is to simply walk away from the drama that is unfolding, especially when they already have to be held to a higher standard.
5. They speak up in meetings without apologizing first
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It's beautiful to see a woman slowly gaining their confidence. She no longer keeps to herself like she used to and instead actively participates in meetings at work. Women who do this show that they can adapt to the changing environment that they are in and, with a little practice, regain their confidence in public speaking.
It can take a while for women to gain confidence within the workplace. According to a survey by Blind Workplace Insights, 61% of women tend to apologize at work even when the apology wasn't warranted. So, when women stop apologizing it can show a newfound confidence and assertiveness that wasn't there before.
Other women might take notice and follow suit, creating a more vibrant and open workplace where their opinions matter. As women, we often forget that we are not responsible for other people's actions, no matter how badly they want to blame us.
6. They won't belittle themselves to seem relatable
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Sometimes belittling yourself subconsciously mirrors how you are really feeling inside, but brilliant women have found that doing this harms your self-esteem. Their motto to live by is if you don't have something nice to say about yourself then don't say anything at all.
They know that belittling themselves doesn't make them seem relatable, but actually damages their reputation and self-esteem. A study published by De Gruyter Mouton found that women who use self-defeating humor by putting themselves down were more likely to be critical of themselves as opposed to women who used self-enhancing humor. This shows that women who keep things light hearted and positive ended up being happier with themselves.
We don't want to take ourselves too seriously, so we often poke fun at ourselves but this can be damaging in the long run. Brilliant women have mastered the art of talking positively about themselves and other people follow suit.
7. They hold eye contact when being interrupted
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This powerful non-verbal communication signals to the other person that they were not finished speaking before they were rudely interrupted. Women often talk over each other, which can cause frustration and confusion. A study published in the Journal of Language and Social Psychology found that women interrupted other women more frequently than they interrupted men.
Women who know this feeling make it a point to keep eye contact with the person who interrupted them as a way of bringing attention to their rudeness. It's never polite to interrupt, but some people don't even realize that they cut you off to begin with. Interruptions are a natural part of having a conversation, but when it gets deliberate then brilliant women know that they are actively being disrespected and must adjust their reactions accordingly. They won't stay for the rest of the conversation but simply walk out while you are in mid-sentence.
8. They leave rooms where they're not being respected
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Brilliant women know their limits, so when someone crosses the line, the only thing they can do is sit there and accept it or leave the room. Leaving sends a statement that a woman should never be spoken to like that again. In choosing to leave, she challenges deeply ingrained systems that keep women compliant instead of showcasing their self-expression.
Whether it's a boardroom meeting gone awry or a derogatory comment made by a romantic partner, women who feel disrespected will leave just as quickly as they got there. These women aren't being difficult or hard to manage, but are making a statement that their dignity is non-negotiable. By doing this now it will make them immune to disrespect in the future.
Walking out or leaving a room after disrespect is felt encourages others who also feel disrespected to do the same. That's what makes brilliant women so, well, brilliant. They make sure others believe that they deserve better.
9. They defend other women publicly
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Defending another woman in a public way is a courageous act in a world where women face systematic bias. Stereotypes claim women can't really be friends due to constantly being in competition with one another or even gossiping about another woman, so doing the opposite counteracts narratives that pit women against each other.
Women who are brilliant know that they have been in those same positions before so they learn from them. The value of shared experiences is what bonds women together, especially in places where they are dismissed or marginalized. When one woman steps up, others begin to do so as well.
This public support builds community and teaches younger women that they are not as alone as they believe that they are. Women who protect others even when they are not around are rare and show an immense sense of integrity.
10. They don't try to justify their decisions
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A refusal to explain why you made a certain decision can feel radical because it challenges the expectations placed on women when it comes to their autonomy. We are socialized to be agreeable and minimize our impact but when we do the opposite then suddenly we get questioned as if we were children.
Women who are brilliant thinkers and decision-makers don't apologize for the choices they have made in the past. They own up to them, and if anyone has a problem with it, then it's not their problem to deal with. The demand for an explanation or a justification for one's actions is disrespectful.
No one owes anyone anything and women can make their own informed decisions. Not only do brilliant women trust their instincts, but they inspire others to trust themselves as well.
11. They don't rush to smooth things over
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Letting things naturally fix themselves at a pace where both people are ready is the possibly best thing brilliant women do to exert their confidence. For generations, they have been told to be the peacemakers, but that often comes at the expense of their own truth. Choosing to not step into that role shows how much we have grown outside of this stereotypical feminine role.
Unlike men, who tend to avoid conflict, women want to work with you to solve problems. A study published by Emerald Insight found that women tend to adopt a collaborative approach to conflict resolution by focusing on cooperation and mutual benefit. It's a strategic move, as they want the other person to put in just as much work into mending the relationship as they do.
Brilliant women are not desperate for reconciliation, especially when they know they are not at fault for what occurred. They don't rush to smooth things over with someone they had a falling out with. This would devalues their self-respect, and that's not something women who no longer tolerate disrespect do.
Sylvia Ojeda is an author who has over a decade of experience writing novels and screenplays. She covers self-help, relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
