If A Woman Doesn't Feel Truly Valued, She'll Usually Stop Doing These 11 Things

Recently, a friend of mine decided to file for divorce. We all saw this coming. Her husband was shocked, though we didn’t understand why. The signs were all there. She stopped feeling valued. She had tried to get him to listen to her and work with her. And still, any type of effort she made was “too much” for him.

Women who don’t feel truly valued or loved often stop doing many of the small things they once did, and if he had paid attention, he could have seen what was coming in time to do something about it.

If a woman doesn't feel truly valued, she'll usually stop doing these 11 things

1. Giving hugs, kisses, and snuggle

woman who stopped giving hugs because she doesn't feel valued Syda Productions via Canva

Think about the last time that your wife hugged you out of the blue. Or the last time she kissed you or asked for snuggles. Was it a long time ago? If so, watch out. Women who don’t feel valued tend to be uninterested in touching you—even when it comes to handholding.

This is because women who are uninterested in touch often want to create a physical distance between the two of you. It’s a sign they’ve grown averse to you, consciously or otherwise. Speaking as someone who was in a marriage where the touch died, it’s often a sign that the marriage itself is in serious, often incurable, disrepair.

2. Little favors just because

woman who stopped doing little favors because she doesn't feel valued Liza Summer from Pexels via Canva

Remember when your wife used to drive you back and forth from work? Or what about the way she would pack your lunch or pick up after your dirty dishes? Women do those little acts of labor to show their spouse love.

A woman who isn’t feeling valued in her relationship will often try to “match your energy,” as dating experts would say. So, if she notices that you aren’t picking up after yourself, she will stop picking up after herself. If she notices that you don’t put in effort for romance, she will stop booking dates, too. This should be a wake-up call for you to step it up before she leaves.

3. Giving random gifts

woman who stopped giving random gifts because she doesn't feel valued hjalmeida via Canva

Many women will reach a stage in their love lives when they love to offer small gifts “just because.” Guys who get to experience this may find small love notes in their lunches, little flowers at home, or even something as simple as new audio equipment.

Gifts can be a barometer of how well your relationship is doing. In other words, if her gifts are starting to shrink to a trickle, it could be that she’s feeling neglected or not valued.

4. Offering cheerful greetings

woman who stopped giving cheerful greetings because she doesn't feel valued Candy Box Images via Canva

When a woman’s in a rewarding relationship, it’s easy to see it in how she greets her husband. She’ll often come right over to him when he comes home from work, just to hug him and say hello. Maybe he might get a greeting from the pets, too.

If she feels neglected or overworked, he’ll know because the greetings will often stop. She won’t make the effort to say hello, even when she’s not working over a hot stove. In fact, you might have to wave to get her attention. This is often because she feels like her greeting will also be taken for granted.

5. Staying quiet about her complaints

woman who stopped staying quiet because she doesn't feel valued studioroman via Canva

When a woman starts to complain and nag, she isn't usually trying to upset her partner. Quite the opposite. That’s actually a sign that she still wants to fix her marriage and is trying to get her husband to hear her.

If your wife only recently started to complain about things, that’s a sign that you can still turn things around. On the other hand, if she’s suddenly stopped nagging and crying over certain things, it’s usually a sign that she has decided to leave the relationship. This phenomenon even has a name: Walkaway Wife Syndrome.

6. Taking care of herself

woman who stopped taking care of herself because she doesn't feel valued Motortion from Getty Images via Canva

Most men really don’t understand how much women can be affected by the feeling of being neglected or taken for granted. Many women will stop caring for themselves if they feel too unvalued. How do I know? It happened to me! I almost entirely stopped caring for my hair, I stopped dieting, and I could barely get myself to shave my legs.

More often than not, overworked and underloved wives are tired and don’t see the point in it anymore. My thoughts were as such: “I already am not being valued when I keep up my hair and makeup. Why would I keep putting in the effort when it won’t get me anywhere with him? I’m already tired. I want a break!”

7. Making plans

woman who stopped making plans because she doesn't feel valued Karola G from Pexels via Canva

When women are deeply engaged in their relationships, they are excited to make plans for all kinds of fun things. If a woman stopped making plans with you, it might be a pretty dire sign about the trajectory of your relationship. This can indicate that she is falling out of love with you, but more often than not, it’s more about feeling unvalued.

If she’s mentioned feeling like things have gotten very “one way,” her lack of planning could indicate that she is trying to see whether you’ll pick up the slack. If you don’t, well … don’t say I didn’t warn you.

8. Compromising

woman who stopped compromising because she doesn't feel valued Syda Productions via Canva

Your partner used to be all about reaching consensus on everything. She would compromise, maybe even put her needs last. Nowadays, even the smallest compromise seems impossible to get her to make. Simply put, she’s now “my way or the highway” all the time. Sound familiar?

Bernard Golden, Ph.D., notes that there can be many factors that contribute to a decline in compromises, but there’s one they left out: feeling unvalued. If she feels like she’s always the one to compromise, eventually, she’ll stop compromising. It doesn’t feel fair.

9. Making time for you

woman who stopped making time because she doesn't feel valued milanvirijevic from Getty Images Signature via Canva

As a general rule, people want to hang out with those who treat them as valued. The opposite is also true. People also tend to avoid people who make them feel bad about themselves, especially if it’s a repeat offense.

If she increasingly chooses to hang out with friends and family rather than with you over time, that could be a sign that she’s not happy in her relationship. Everyone needs quality time with friends and family. However, her relationship still matters too. If she keeps bailing on you, it’s a sign that she might be on the verge of calling it quits.

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10. Including you in her fun

woman who stopped including you because she doesn't feel valued AleksandarNakic from Getty Images Signature via Canva

Think of the following scenario: she’s on the phone, talking and joking. You can tell it’s a group chat type of thing. You’re curious. What’s going on? You try to ask her, but she just waves her hand and shrugs you off. The next day, she’s out with a bunch of people. You weren’t invited. What gives?

Generally speaking, if you have a healthy relationship, she’ll almost always want to include you in her fun. Or, if it’s a girl’s night, she would at least want to fill you in on the details if you are interested in hearing them. A woman who doesn’t include you in fun often avoids including you because you either made that outing difficult or because she felt you didn’t value that time with her. Think back to your last outings. Were you a wet blanket, or were you just acting annoyed by her antics? That might be why she didn’t include you this time.

11. Helping your friends

woman who stopped helping your friends because she doesn't feel valued xijian from Getty Images Signature via Canva

We’ve already gone on about how your partner might behave toward you if she feels like you don’t value her, but did you know that this can extend to your network? You’d be surprised at how much women do for their partners’ friends and family members.

If she doesn’t feel like you and your friends value her, she’ll lose motivation to pull out all the stops when your buddies come over. She’ll stop cooking those killer ribs that your buddy Jake likes, or she’ll stop cleaning before your Sunday night football party. It might seem like small things, but it speaks volumes about how she feels you treat her.

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.