People Who Have Lived Frugally Their Whole Lives Usually Have These 11 Regrets As They Get Older
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Life isn't as carefree as many would hope. While decades ago, people could move out at 18, afford to buy a home, and raise a family without going broke, with rising costs affecting a majority of individuals around the world, these once-attainable goals feel nearly impossible now. Though there are some people who made it a point to scrimp and save anywhere they could, later in life, they struggle with their choices.
People who have lived frugally their whole lives usually have certain regrets as they get older, and it can greatly affect their well-being. The choices they made meant they worked harder, spent less time at home, or held themselves back from taking risks they desired. And now, they're looking back in shame.
People who have lived frugally their whole lives usually have these 11 regrets as they get older
1. They focused so much on saving that they forgot to live
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On the outside, saving money and living frugally sounds like a good option. With the cost of living rising, it's no wonder people have resorted to spending wisely. As much as it sucks, spending money on a coffee every day or a new gaming system that just came out just isn't in the average person's budget anymore.
Still, just because some people chose to live frugally their whole lives, it doesn't mean it didn't come with regret. As clinical psychologist Robert N. Johansen explained, "Like the changing tide, our self-esteem can ebb and flow with the level of our income. Are there times when your self-esteem inflates because your wallet is full but at other times deflates because it's not? For many of us, the answer is, yes, strongly suggesting that self-esteem, like any other commodity, is purchasable."
2. They didn't travel
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Because of all the time they spent preventing themselves from splurging on entertainment or experiences, people who have lived frugally their whole lives usually regret not traveling as much as they get older. For them, living paycheck to paycheck often meant never leaving the area.
Stuck in survival mode, these individuals watched as those around them enjoyed life while they were stuck in the same cycle. However, they didn't have much of a choice. While some people live frugally to save money, if they have disposable income, it's never permanent.
3. They missed out on important milestones
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Frugal people know just how difficult it is to be present for big milestones in life. Whether it's a birthday or their kid's school performances, they missed it all. It was never their plan to stay stuck in this cycle of counting their pennies, but they chose to work extremely hard and forgo any expenses that weren't necessary. And that likely included important events.
These individuals have sacrificed a lot, but ultimately, this not only leads to regret but complete burnout. As psychology professor Johanna Peetz explained, "Financial stress can affect a person's mood and cognition." All of this can impact a relationship for the worse, leading to more loneliness and less support.
4. They under-invested in relationships
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On the surface, living frugally sounds like the best way to save a relationship. But one of the top reasons for divorce typically has to do with financial difficulties. So, even if it meant sacrificing their anniversary or important time together, saving money seemed like the most logical thing to do at that time. Unfortunately, it meant under-investing in their relationships.
They might love their partner, but their partner likely felt neglected in one way or another. From working long hours to not being able to go out and do something nice, all of this led to resentment, making a frugal person regret their financial decisions.
5. They neglected self-care
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Everyone wants to take good care of themselves. Whether it's routine hair maintenance or a relaxing bubble bath, self-care isn't just for appearance's sake, but is also good for mental health. Unfortunately, not everyone has the means to afford constant self-care.
It doesn't matter how much someone has in their bank account, self-care is extremely important for the overall well-being of a person. As clinical psychologist Monica Vermani explained, "When we optimize self-care, we feel better, look better, and have more energy. And quality self-care is linked to improved mental health, with benefits like enhanced self-esteem and self-worth, increased optimism, a positive outlook on life, and lower levels of anxiety and depression."
6. They never got to enjoy the small luxuries in life
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Whether it was avoiding nice dinners with friends, not investing in their comfort, or never treating themselves to high-quality groceries, people who have lived frugally their whole lives usually have these regrets as they get older. Because it's those small luxuries that get a person through long, grueling days.
They avoided events and experiences due to the toll it would take on their wallet, not thinking about how it would affect their well-being. And now, they have savings, but nobody to spend it with or around. And it makes them upset.
7. They passed up on meaningful experiences with their partner
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It isn't just date nights they've sacrificed by being frugal. From a weekend getaway or purchasing a new home together, these are just some things frugal people sacrificed to keep their finances in order. Of course, they probably told their partner multiple times that they'd make it up to them. However, time passed and it eventually affected their bond.
They knew they were doing the right thing by saving, but it doesn't mean they don't feel awful about it. They wanted to give their partner the world and, unfortunately, their limited finances didn't allow it. As the Jimenez Law Firm explained, financial problems contribute to 20-40% of all divorces, meaning about four out of 10 divorces are due to money.
8. They let fear dictate their choices
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While many live frugally because they have no other choice, some do it because that was the way they were raised. From a young age, they've lived in survival mode. From saving every cent they made to downsizing holiday meals, deep down inside they know they should have been more relaxed with their money.
In the eyes of society, they've made it and are now able to buy all the things they missed out on. However, getting through that hoop was never easy, causing them to let fear dictate the choices they made, big and small.
9. They kept an outdated wardrobe that lowered their confidence
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When most people think about regret, they think about the time missed with loved ones or passing up on their dreams. But one aspect of regret that nobody ever talks about often ties in with confidence. And that may be a person's wardrobe.
At the end of the day, clothes are just there to keep us warm or help us dress for an occasion. However, never being able to wear nice shoes, while those around them flaunted designer handbags, probably left a bitter taste in their mouth. Even if they'd never say it, never splurging on something new probably fills them with a bit of regret.
10. They saved for a future that never happened
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Frugal people didn't always plan to be this way before. For many, it was a life choice that was supposed to be temporary. From saving for college all the way to buying a home, frugal people worked hard to accomplish their dreams. Unfortunately, these dreams didn't always pan out.
It isn't as simple as "I didn't accomplish my dreams," because frugal people sacrificed everything and got nothing in return. Filled with regret and pain, they're now extremely frustrated and filled with guilt over the future they saved for but never came to fruition.
11. They didn't learn new skills because of the cost
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People who have lived frugally their whole lives usually regret not learning new skills due to the costs. On the outside, it may not seem like such a huge deal. So what if they never got to paint or learn the piano? There were better things to focus on, right? While this may be true logically speaking, this doesn't mean it doesn't sting.
Like everyone else, frugal people are also curious and want to learn more. And while things like YouTube exist, learning a skill isn't always that simple. For many, they may need a teacher and extra instruction, and those come with price tags.
As licensed clinical social worker Robert Taibbi revealed, learning a new skill "involves breaking skills into small chunks, practicing slowly, and not ignoring past mistakes." However, without proper instruction, it's much harder to catch those smaller mistakes, which is why many frugal people simply moved on and never even bothered to learn.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
