Liars Almost Always Say These 11 Phrases When They Talk To You
A deceptive person will usually slip these phrases in so they don't get caught.
Vovatol | Shutterstock Most liars aren't as obvious with the things they're being dishonest about. Considering they probably lie all the time, they've mastered the art of coming across as if everything is fine and are coming clean about whatever it is they're talking about. However, they aren't always perfect in their plan because liars almost always say certain phrases when they talk to you. They may seem totally normal at first, but if you're listening closely and paying attention, you can see they're telling a completely different story. Liars can be clever like that.
They choose their words carefully as a way to make other people doubt themselves rather than pointing the finger at them. They know exactly how to maneuver through a conversation so everything feels fine, but they can't always keep up appearances. And if you know exactly what to look for, you're able to recognize the patterns and immediately know you're being deceived. They may insist they're telling the truth, but in reality, they're trying to get one over on you. The trick is just being two steps ahead so you can catch them in their lies.
Liars almost always say these 11 phrases when they talk to you
1. 'I swear I'm telling the truth'
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Most people who are genuinely the truth never have to go out of their way to declare that's what they're doing. They don't feel the need to reassure people about the truth because they're confident in their statements. They say what they mean and let it stand without having to defend it.
"You may not be able to catch all the people trying to entice you into their web of deception. However, by becoming tuned in to the manipulative strategies of those trying to lie, cheat, or steal, you can protect yourself from the most devious," insisted psychologist Susan Krauss Whitbourne.
Whether it's trying to convince you of their trustworthiness or claiming they always tell the truth, liars almost always say these phrases when they talk to you. The more they try to push that narrative, the more you are probably wondering why they're fighting so hard if it's true in the first place. Rather than leaning on your intuition, liars usually want you to trust their words, even if there are obvious holes in their story.
2. 'I don't remember'
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Liars are always conveniently forgetting the lies that they've told. When they want to cover for the things they've said or done, they'll just blame it on the fact that their memory isn't the best. And, for the most part, people can't argue because you can't just force someone to remember.
They'll lean on the confusion of the matter, hoping that their lack of memory will cause people to drop the case against them. By not being able to commit to a concrete answer, they are avoiding taking responsibility for their actions. Their goal is to make people feel unsure or even guilty for asking questions in the first place.
3. 'You're making a big deal out of nothing'
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Usually, liars will try to flip the script back on you to escape the fact that you may be catching on to their dishonesty. They are looking for any way to invalidate your feelings. So, when they make it seem as if you're making a big deal out of nothing, they're trying to make it look like you're overreacting, even though you know you're becoming more aware of their deceitful behavior.
"A paradoxical defense is a deliberate, malicious act to create chaos, exploit others, and then falsely blame and vilify the target(s) to deflect attention. They flip reality, like a liar calling you dishonest or an arsonist accusing the burn victim," said licensed clinical psychologist Bill Knaus.
In a way, they're also attempting to gaslight you. They want you to think you're jumping to conclusions and that the issue you're attempting to point out is all in your head. Suddenly, you start to wonder if it really is all in your head, and by that point, the liar has already won.
4. 'I was only joking, don't be so serious'
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Liars are always testing people's boundaries and protecting themselves from accountability by swearing up and down that they're only joking. By claiming that they were only being funny, they want others to feel as if they're overreacting and being too sensitive about the entire ordeal.
"Those who leaned on injurious humor styles, such as sarcasm, ridicule, or self-deprecating jokes, were perceived less favorably. In other words, the way someone jokes can shape how trustworthy, likable, or emotionally safe they appear to others," psychologist Mark Travers pointed out, referencing a study published in Evolutionary Psychology.
Rather than just apologizing or owning up to the fact that they said something offensive or lied about something important, they rebrand what they're saying as being humorous. When someone is being genuinely funny and making a good joke, they don't need to hide behind it or use it as some kind of buffer. It's funny because people laughed. And when people don't laugh, they aren't becoming immediately defensive.
5. 'I don't have time for this right now'
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In might seem as if they're really busy, but usually, liars are trying to deflect so they don't have to sit in the hot seat and answer to their lies. They're attempting to dodge accountability by any means necessary. They want to shut down the discussion before it can even start and so they don't have to give the real answer. As sociologist Thomas Henricks pointed out, "Master manipulators exploit trust, then dodge accountability with deception tactics."
Instead of directly addressing the concerns and questions that are being directed their way, they lean on the fact that they have plans and are just "so busy" that they can't actually own up to what they're saying. Liars almost always say these phrases when they talk to you, and it's a clever tactic because most people would just drop it when the other person is overwhelmed. It also makes the other person feel guilty for even bringing it up in the first place, which is what a liar wants.
6. 'I'm not lying'
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A liar's favorite excuse is to lie about the fact that they lied in the first place. However, it's as if they're trying to convince you rather than being transparent in the first place. The very need to insist that you aren't lying is usually the reddest of flags.
"Some liars use their fabrications to be manipulative — think of the worst salesperson in the world... trying to woo you, or the classic narcissist pumping up his own image. These individuals use others as objects, or in the case of pathological liars, do what they do because that is what they do," explained clinical therapist Bob Taibbi.
Liars are frustrated or exasperated when saying they're not lying, as if they're annoyed that people aren't believing what they're saying. If they were really confident in the fact that they were telling the truth, they wouldn't have to hide behind the insistence that they're being honest all the time.
7. 'I didn't think you'd care'
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Rather than looking at their own actions, liars would rather shift their behavior onto other people. Typically, when they use this phrase, it might seem as if they were trying not to bother you by withholding information, but in reality, they probably did it on purpose.
Instead of owning up to that, they want to seem as if they did it to protect the peace of those around them, rather than acknowledging that they did indeed hide something important and sharing why they did it in the first place. It's their guilt-inducing way of dodging the pointed fingers and questions. They've been caught but they want to avoid having to be honest for a change.
8. 'You're remembering it wrong'
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While people's memories aren't perfect, liars will often use this line as a way to try and rewrite what they've said on the spot. They're not trying to clarify what happened, they just want to control the narrative of events so they can come out scot-free.
When someone is being extremely confident about the fact that you aren't remembering something correctly, it can really make you second-guess yourself. You start wondering if they're right and that you may not have recalled the things they said or did in the manner that it happened.
But nine times out of ten, you are remembering correctly. A liar just wants to throw you off of their scent, so by any means necessary, they'll make it seem as if it's just all in your head.
9. 'I'm not hiding anything'
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Spoken by a truly dishonest person, liars almost always say these phrases when they talk to you. Honest people never feel the need to defend their behavior or insist they're not hiding a thing. But when someone is jumping straight to denial, it's usually a sign they don't want people examining their words too closely.
"The act of lying, when it occurs occasionally, may reflect an insignificant blip in the life of an otherwise upstanding individual. Your radar probably won’t be attuned to detecting a lie from this person because you’ve come to expect mostly truths. With the chronic liar, though, you doubt whether anything at all has even a kernel of truth," Krauss Whitbourne explained.
So instead, they'll swear up and down that they're as clean as a whistle. They rush to insist that they're innocent, as if the idea of hiding something in the first place never even crossed their mind. Liars love doing this because it means the conversation can be redirected to a different topic rather than their own lies and deception.
10. 'It's not worth arguing about'
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To make it seem as if they're being reasonable, liars will suddenly shut down conversations when they can feel they're losing. The moment they sense someone catching on to their lies, suddenly they don't have time to argue anymore. They start spouting that it's not even necessary to be disagreeing because they want the easy way out.
They'll paint it as if you're the one stirring up the drama, even if you're simply asking for clarity and for them to be honest. Now you're the antagonizer and they're the innocent victims being put on the spot for something they really did.
It can be a frustrating reality, but the goal isn't escape, it's to disarm you. They want you to feel bad about allegedly stirring the pot, even though you're just trying to get answers.
11. 'I thought you'd trust me'
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Trust is not something that's just given, it has to be earned. Liars will often resort to bringing up the idea of truth as a way to make other people feel guilty when, in reality, they have no reason to be trustworthy people in the first place. Suddenly, you're in the hot seat of having to defend your trustworthiness when they should be the ones defending their own.
They want to be let off the hook badly, so they'll resort to any means necessary to get there, even if it means throwing the word "trust" around when they themselves don't know a thing about being a trusting individual.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
