Men Who Start Being Very Quiet At Home Are Usually Struggling With These 11 Feelings
His silence speaks volumes.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock It's unfortunate, but many men are taught to hide their emotions, all for the sake of keeping peace and living up to "masculine" standards society has set. From controlling their sadness to never voicing their opinion, men aren't given much grace when it comes to emotional expression. Unfortunately, this can start bleeding into their household, and men who start being very quiet at home are usually struggling with these feelings, whether it's loneliness, anxiety, or exhaustion.
It's not like they want to shut out their family; on the contrary, they want to share their emotions and be expressive. However, after burying these intense feelings for so long, many men become silent, causing irreparable damage in their relationships. And eventually, it will catch up to them.
Men who start being very quiet at home are usually struggling with these 11 feelings
1. They feel overwhelmed
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They won't admit to it, but men get pretty overwhelmed often. Whether it's working late hours or coming home to be an outstanding father, feeling unsupported or alone creates these complicated emotions. So, if a man is looking particularly stressed but says he's fine, women don't have to say much. Placing a hand on his back and letting him know that he's not alone is sometimes all he needs to let his guard down.
While he may claim he can handle everything on his own, men are human beings. And, according to clinical psychologist Melanie A. McNally, building a strong support system can provide the clarity, motivation, and tools to move forward and thrive.
2. They're anxious
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Anxiety can quickly turn a really good day into a horrible one. For most people, anxiety is uncontrollable, and despite knowing it's irrational, some men can't seem to turn their thoughts off. Tossing and turning into the late hours, they quickly become overwhelmed by their thoughts, causing them to grow silent.
If he happens to be struggling with anxiety or if people in his family notice it, it's essential to offer help. Whether that means therapy or medication, there's a way to live happily that doesn't involve struggling alone.
3. They're emotionally exhausted
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Men who start being very quiet at home are usually struggling with emotional exhaustion. After dealing with work drama and household responsibilities, the last thing a man wants is to come home only to deal with more problems. Even if it is their responsibility, this doesn't mean he can't feel completely exhausted from it.
He doesn't know how to ask for help; however, every little inconvenience is causing him to slowly lose his sanity. This is why it's so important that members of his family do their best to support him. Whether that's giving him a weekend to cool off or taking over a chore or two so he can rest, everyone needs help from time to time.
According to psychology lecturer Marianna Pogosyan, "Recent research suggests yet another way our well-being can benefit from practicing pro-social behavior: helping others regulate their emotions helps us regulate our own emotions, decreases symptoms of depression and ultimately, improves our emotional well-being."
4. They feel unappreciated
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Just like women want to feel appreciated, men want the same thing. Sometimes, a man's efforts are barely noticed. Considered the "bare minimum," anything a man does is disregarded as an expectation, which is why he's rarely pressed. So, it should come as no surprise that men who start being very quiet at home are usually struggling with feeling unappreciated.
There's nothing wrong with wanting a little credit. Yes, cleaning the dishes and taking out the trash without being asked is basic, but being thanked for it every blue moon doesn't hurt. It costs nothing, yet people gain everything by showing appreciation towards one another. According to behavioral researcher Ross E O'Hara, "Expressing gratitude helps bind people together and enhances our social and emotional well-being."
5. They're ashamed or embarrassed
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For men, despite how calm they appear on the outside, men experience emotions just like women, though they can have a harder time expressing it. For whatever reason, he feels like he's not measuring up. Maybe he messed up in some way, or maybe he's embarrassed himself to the point that he can't quite get over it.
Either way, he doesn't know how to channel his emotions in a healthy way, causing him to grow silent. And while it may be tempting to ignore things or wait until those feelings go away, having someone to talk to will always help. Even if it's uncomfortable, venting helps release those emotions and men slowly begin to feel not alone.
6. They're lonely
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Even if they're known to be a bit introverted, happy men can't contain their excitement. Their loneliness might not always be so apparent, though. They try to hide their loneliness under the guise of being tired or not feeling well. However, it's important to notice if he's isolating himself, as this is damaging to people's mental health.
Oftentimes, loneliness stems from our relationship with our loved ones. As licensed clinical psychologist Vagdevi Meunier pointed out, "These feelings of loneliness don't mean your relationship is broken; this is a more common dynamic than you may realize. Research shows that emotional disconnection affects countless relationships, even those that appear solid from the outside."
7. They're depressed
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Feeling hopeless, some people feel as if they have no choice but to take drastic measures when they notice their loved one slipping. And while depression looks different on everyone, men may try to hide it from those around them.
According to author and licensed clinical social worker Robert B. Weiss, the best way to tell if a man is depressed is by looking for specific signs, like him expressing negative thoughts, isolating himself, a change in his sleeping patterns, and extreme mood swings. Gently encourage him to seek help and be his support, letting him know he's not alone.
8. They feel unimportant
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Men who start being very quiet at home are usually struggling with feeling unimportant, especially in their relationships. Men want to feel like their role in people's lives is irreplaceable, and though he may not say it out loud, he's slowly building up resentment.
Without him even realizing it, he'll slowly grow bitter and frustrated at the lack of acknowledgment and become silent as a result. But praise and reinforcement are important. Because even if people feel like men don't need it, letting them know how valuable they are matters a lot.
9. They're insecure
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Men are expected to be confident and self-assured. Leaders in traditional dynamics, some have the weight of the world on their shoulders. With no guidance or help, men are expected to figure it all out on their own. Because even men grow self-conscious about whether the decisions they're making are the right ones.
They never let it on, but men need reassurance that they're doing the right things. As researchers Erica Boothby, Xuan Zhao, and Vanessa K. Bohns explained, "Expressing praise and gratitude is particularly important for keeping up morale. Gratitude makes people feel valued, and positive feedback has been shown to mitigate the negative effects of stress... Neuroscientists have even shown that the brain processes verbal affirmations similarly to financial rewards."
10. They feel cornered or trapped
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Because of the way society is, men and women often feel trapped and forced into playing certain roles. For men, they're expected to be leaders, disciplined, and emotionless. And while all of these may seem healthy, men and women need a bit of freedom in life away from society's expectations.
Each person needs an outlet that allows them to feel like they can decompress. Whether that's making time for their hobbies or reassigning roles at home, a little bit of freedom can go a long way in making men just a bit happier.
11. They feel powerless
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One of the worst things in the world is feeling powerless to do anything. Whether it's decisions that are out of his hands or watching loved ones struggle, feeling powerless can greatly impact a man. Unfortunately, men have it even worse as they can't really depend on anyone, let alone voice how they feel.
Whether it's shame or guilt, tons of men suffer with these feelings alone. But it helps to give him a nudge. After all, relationships are supposed to be a team effort. As psychology professor Glenn Geher said, "A key to truly loving relationships may be an emphasis on the relationship as a team and a downplaying of the 'what's in it for me' attitude." So, be there for him and let him know that you're there to bear those feelings.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
