9 Things People Say When They Are (Pretty Much) Definitely Lying To You
The truth rarely needs that much work to be convincing.
kaanturker / Shutterstock Most people think they can spot a lie when they hear one, but deception tends to be much more subtle. Liars don’t look nervous or shift their eyes dramatically like in movies. Instead, they rely on specific wording, vague excuses, or emotional distraction to steer you away from the truth. While one suspicious phrase doesn’t automatically mean someone’s lying, when it comes in a certain tone, at a certain time, or layered with other red flags, it’s something to consider.
Many of the phrases liars use are common and innocent. They might sound polite, thoughtful, or reassuring. But when used to cover up dishonesty, they sound hollow. Especially when the words don’t match the energy behind them. If you’ve ever walked away from a conversation with a gnawing feeling in your gut that something wasn’t right, it may have been one of these phrases that tipped you off.
Here are 9 things people say when they are (pretty much) definitely lying to you
1. 'To be honest with you…'
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This phrase often signals the beginning of a lie, not the end of one. It sounds like someone is gearing up to be sincere, but what it actually does is draw unnecessary attention to the idea of honesty. Most people don’t preface the truth. They just say it.
When someone keeps insisting they’re being honest, it may be because they’re trying to make themselves believe it, too. And in many cases, what follows is either a half-truth, a deflection, or a polished version of the truth meant to keep you from asking more questions.
2. 'I swear, I would never…'
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The more someone insists they wouldn’t do something, the more likely it is that they might have. Liars often go big with denial in an attempt to shut down suspicion fast. By saying, “I would never,” they try to make the act sound so out of character that you’ll feel silly for even asking.
But genuine innocence usually leads to confusion, not dramatic declarations. When someone’s words feel rehearsed or overly emotional for the situation, it’s worth paying attention to what they’re trying to steer you away from.
3. 'Why would I lie about that?'
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This question is meant to guilt or confuse you. It seems like a reasonable thing to ask, but it’s a diversion tactic. It shifts the burden onto you to justify your suspicion rather than simply offering a straight answer.
People who are telling the truth don’t usually challenge you to defend your doubt. They just clarify things. If someone hits you with this phrase instead of calmly explaining themselves, they may not have a solid explanation at all.
4. 'You’re overthinking it'
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When someone tells you that you’re overthinking, they’re usually trying to get you to back off. It’s a gentle way of invalidating your intuition and making you feel dramatic for asking fair questions.
Truthful people might feel a little annoyed by repeated suspicion, but they’ll typically offer reassurance, not dismissal. If someone brushes you off without answering directly, it may be because your instincts are right on track.
5. 'I don’t remember'
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Sometimes, they genuinely don’t, but other times, they remember perfectly and just don’t want to say. This phrase is a classic escape hatch. It lets the speaker avoid lying directly while dodging responsibility. And while memory is imperfect, especially under stress, it’s suspicious when someone suddenly goes blank on something they were very involved in.
If they remember every detail of events leading up to a moment but then conveniently forget that part, it’s worth noticing what they’re avoiding.
6. 'It’s not a big deal'
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That usually means it is, just not one they want to deal with right now. Minimizing is a common lie-adjacent behavior. People use this phrase when they hope to shut down a topic without diving into the details.
If someone tells you “it’s not a big deal” before you’ve even had a chance to understand what happened, it’s often a signal that the truth would feel like a big deal if it came to light. Liars hope you’ll let it slide. Smart people don’t.
7. 'If that’s what you think…'
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This one is a passive-aggressive favorite and a classic way to avoid accountability. Rather than denying or confirming anything, this phrase just throws the ball back in your court with a hint of wounded pride. It’s a strategic non-answer that gives the illusion of maturity while dodging any real engagement.
People who are telling the truth tend to be straightforward, not vague. This phrase is often used by someone who’s been caught but doesn’t want to admit it out loud.
8. 'I was just trying to help'
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This phrase may be used to excuse behavior that wasn’t helpful or honest at all. You'll often hear it when someone gets caught doing something they shouldn’t have. Instead of owning up to a lie or a secret, they try to reframe it as a good deed.
It’s a way of flipping the script, so you feel guilty for being upset. But true help is transparent, not hidden. If someone only reveals what they did after getting caught, it probably wasn’t just about helping.
9. 'You’re being too sensitive'
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This phrase is a subtle way to shift the focus from their lie to your reaction. It turns your understandable discomfort into the problem, instead of the behavior that caused it. When someone lies and then accuses you of being too sensitive for noticing something’s off, it’s often a tactic to make you second-guess yourself.
People who value honesty usually want to clear the air, not make you feel crazy for sensing something’s wrong. If someone pulls this line, trust your gut before you trust their words.
Sloane Bradshaw is a writer and essayist who frequently contributes to YourTango.
