Women With A High Level Of Self-Worth Don't Tolerate These 11 Behaviors From Anyone
Women who know how they deserve to be treated won't put up with just anything.
JLco Julia Amaral | Shutterstock Having a high level of self-worth is important. It means you know what you deserve and aren't willing to settle for anything less. Anyone with a high level of self-worth is powerful, and whether it's drama or being taken for granted, women with a high level of self-worth don't tolerate these behaviors from anyone. They don't put up with anything that compromises who they know they are and refuse to tolerate certain behaviors they know they don't deserve.
Relationship expert and coach Dr. Annie Tanasugarn explained, "Self-worth is at the foundation for the concepts of self-acceptance and self-love. Without feeling a solid sense of worth or value it is difficult, if not impossible to feel worthy of love or acceptance from others." Women with self-worth aren't pretentious, they just respect themselves. There's nothing wrong with that, just like there's nothing wrong with them expecting the best from others.
Women with a high level of self-worth don't tolerate these 11 behaviors from anyone
1. Ignoring boundaries
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One thing women with a high level of self-worth don't tolerate is someone ignoring their boundaries. You can pretty much guarantee that a woman with self-worth knows what her boundaries are and has them set in stone. Not only that, but she'll communicate them clearly to everyone in her life. When someone ignores those boundaries, it's something she simply cannot allow.
Psychotherapist Moshe Ratson explained, "Whether intentionally or unintentionally, not everyone will honor the boundaries you set. Dealing with boundary violators requires clarity, confidence, and assertive action to protect your well-being while maintaining respect for others."
Clarity, confidence, and assertive action? Those are things that women with a high level of self-worth have in spades. They have the confidence and self-esteem to have an open and honest conversation with anyone who violates their boundaries and let them know they over-stepped.
This doesn't mean they'll be mean or disrespectful about it, but they will communicate their needs clearly and insist they are treated the way they deserve.
2. Lying
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Women with a high level of self-worth don't tolerate lying from anyone. When she finds out someone was untruthful with her, she'll let them know that she doesn't appreciate that. Have you ever heard it said that trust is hard to earn back once it's broken? It's even harder to earn that trust back when a woman knows her worth and respects herself.
Health and wellness journalist Hilary I. Lebow shared that most people average one or two lies per day. Licensed therapist Laura Sgro added, "Although intent does not trump impact, it's worth considering the intention of the lie, as well as the context you have about the person." This doesn't mean it's okay to be lied to, but it does bring to light the fact that there are many things to consider when it does happen.
Women with self-worth are intelligent. Not only can they easily determine when they're being lied to, but they can also analyze the lie and its context. Not all lies are created equally. Maybe one was told to keep someone safe, or to prevent hurting someone's feelings. These women will always take these contingencies into account and never judge someone unfairly for their infractions.
3. Having to earn love
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This may sound like it only applies to romantic relationships, but that's not really true. Women may feel like they are put in a position of having to earn love in friendships, family relationships, and even professional connections, where the idea of love is more like approval. Sure, you have to prove yourself when you take on a job, and you have to show that you're the right fit for a friendship, but that doesn't mean you should actually have to earn love and approval from people who matter.
Psychologist Dr. Abby Medcalf referred to this as "transactional self-worth." This affects women in an interesting way. "In general, the research shows that females were more likely than males to base self-worth on relationships and approval from others, while males were more likely to tie self-worth to competence and success," she said.
So, women are already set up by society to believe that their self-worth depends on their connections to others and the way they approve or disapprove of them. They're taught to believe that they do indeed have to earn love.
Women with a high level of self-worth are rejecting this idea. They know love isn't something they earn, but something that is given by those who are worthy of having them in their lives.
4. Someone else taking credit for their ideas
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We've all seen it happen before or maybe had it happen to us. A woman has a great idea in a professional setting that could really change the trajectory of the business venture for the better. Unfortunately, she shares that idea with the wrong person and they present the idea in a meeting and claim it as their own. It's a tough situation, because if she speaks up, it's really just her word against theirs.
Some people may be willing to step aside when someone else takes credit for their good work, but a woman with self-worth would never. "Don't stew — only bringing it up a month later," advised performance coach Melody Wilding. "So much can happen during that time that it's possible your co-worker may not even remember the incident. It's also completely okay to stand up for yourself in the moment. Taking action in the moment creates a strong boundary that will pay off in the future."
This can happen in one's personal life, too. Maybe a woman thought of the perfect family vacation, only for her aunt to take credit, or she came up with the perfect seating arrangement for an event, only for her colleague to claim it was their idea. Whatever the situation is, she will stand up for herself and let everyone know who really deserves the praise for that idea.
5. Being treated like they aren’t smart
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Just because a woman has a high level of self-worth doesn't automatically mean she also has a Mensa-level IQ. However, women who respect themselves do tend to be intelligent, especially when it comes to interpreting other people's actions and understanding where people are coming from.
If someone doesn't see this in a woman and refuses to treat her like the intelligent human being she is, she'll take note, and she'll put a stop to that. This is a sign that someone is condescending. And when a woman finds herself in this situation, psychotherapist Oona Metz suggested, "The best response to condescension is a direct, even-handed statement about how it makes you feel rather than engaging by being condescending back."
Whether someone graduated with a 4.0 GPA or finds their intelligence lies more in street smarts, no one deserves to be treated like they aren't smart and don't know what they're doing. Women with self-worth know this and are unwilling to tolerate anyone treating them this way. Knowing their worth means they respect themselves and their abilities. They are confident in their intelligence, and they expect others to be as well.
6. Empty apologies
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Everyone has experienced a situation where someone has apologized to them, and they really deserved that apology, but it was obvious the other person wasn't sincere at all. They were simply going through the motions and doing what was considered right or expected of them.
Women with high self-worth don't put up with this. They may not be able to change someone else's sincerity level, but they can decide whether they accept that apology and how they move forward in their relationship with that person.
"An insincere apology reveals to us a lack of integrity, a reluctance to take responsibility, and a lack of compassion and respect, due to the absence of a desire to make amends and take steps to change patterns of behavior," clinical psychologist Monica Vermani stated.
In other words, an empty apology says far more about the person giving it than the person it is being given to. It demonstrates that that person lacks accountability and, quite honestly, doesn't really care. Women with high self-worth aren't willing to put up with that kind of behavior and won't keep those people in their lives. They know that they deserve better than someone who won't even take responsibility when they did something wrong.
7. Forcing them to chase
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Have you ever heard someone talk about "the art of the chase"? It's what occurs when one person relentlessly pursues another in the hopes of developing a romantic relationship. However, the concept of chasing could really apply to any relationship, romantic or not. We're not promoting old-fashioned gender stereotypes here, but traditionally, a man chases a woman in a romantic relationship.
Women with a high level of self-worth know that chasing someone else isn't worth it. Pursuing a relationship is acceptable, whether it's romantic, friendly, or professional, but having to actually chase someone down and basically scream "notice me" isn't the way to go. Women with self-worth know they are better than this, and that if someone doesn't want to be in their life, it's better to just let them go than keep chasing after them.
Referring to romantic relationships, relationship coach Laura Doyle actually said it's important to engage in self-care, and that this can keep a partner interested better than chasing after them can. Whatever self-care looks like for an individual, it's important to take time to focus on yourself. Basically, it's not all about that other person and catering to their needs. Women with self-worth know they matter too.
8. Gaslighting
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Women with a high level of self-worth don't tolerate gaslighting from anyone. They can recognize when someone is manipulating them in this way, and they aren't about to go along with it.
As psychologist Dr. Chivonna Childs explained, "Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation to make you feel as if your feelings aren't valid, or that what you think is happening isn't really happening. Over time, you start to question your self-worth, self-esteem, and mental capacity."
Gaslighters make people second-guess what they know to be reality. Women with a lot of self-worth do not put up with this. They trust themselves and know their truth, and they don't accept anyone trying to make them question that. These women stand up to gaslighters and call them out as the bullies they are. No one can make them second-guess themselves when they are so self-assured.
Licensed marriage and family therapist Patrice Le Goy explained that this can actually be empowering. "Responding to gaslighting can be empowering because you are refusing to accept the false narrative that the other person is trying to make you believe," she said. "Responding to it is a way of reclaiming your self-respect and confidence." Women with self-worth are all about empowerment, so they don't mind standing up for themselves.
9. Drama
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Some people operate under the false assumption that women love drama. You can't really blame them when this is how women are repeatedly represented in pop culture and the media. However, most women don't really like drama, especially those with high self-worth. They see drama as something petty that they don't want to get involved in and waste their time on. When people try to pull them into their dramatic bubbles, they expertly resist.
"Clinically, what many casually dismiss as 'being a drama queen' is a complex problem that functions as a vehicle for attention, excitement, or validation," said author and psychotherapist Antonieta Contreras. "While the term drama queen syndrome might sound light or humorous, the pattern it describes can take many serious forms, from malicious gossip and demonizing others to orchestrating crises, making impulsive decisions, or engaging in volatile dynamics."
This definitely doesn't sound like the kind of thing a woman with a high level of self-worth would want to get caught up in. They avoid drama at all costs, and when others try to bring it into their lives, these women put a stop to it. They don't tolerate drama from anyone in any situation because they respect themselves and the peace they've cultivated too much.
10. Being taken for granted
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Because they know what they do and don't deserve, women with a high level of self-worth don't tolerate being taken for granted. She knows what she brings to the table, and will naturally expect all of the things she does to be appreciated and acknowledged. She won't tolerate putting her all into a relationship just for the person on the other end to leave her feeling like it's a one-sided effort.
Psychology educator Kendra Cherry stated, "A one-sided relationship is characterized by one person investing more energy and effort into making the relationship work. In this imbalanced dynamic, one person puts in more time and effort or has less control. The problem with any one-sided relationship is that it can be draining and challenging to sustain over the long haul."
If a woman is putting more into any kind of relationship, she's naturally going to feel like she's being taken for granted. She's doing all the work, while the other person reaps all the rewards. This isn't fair to her, and she knows it, so she's not going to accept it. No one can take her for granted because she will recognize this behavior for what it is and call it out.
11. Being talked down to
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This kind of disrespect has no place in her life. Because she has high self-worth, she also knows her worth, and she's not willing to let anyone diminish that. She knows she deserves better than being treated like she is less than, and she will search for better if the people in her life are treating her that way.
This is another example of someone being condescending. Health and wellness journalist LaKeisha Fleming said, "When someone is condescending, they talk down to you and act in a way that implies that they are better than you. It inherently shows a lack of respect, since the person seeks to show you that you are inferior to them. Their tone, words, and mannerisms all focus on making you feel less than them."
No woman with self-worth and self-respect is going to tolerate anyone talking down to her in any situation. This blatant lack of respect is completely inappropriate, and she knows it. Whether it happens in public, where others can overhear, or private, where no one knows but her, she's not going to accept this kind of hurtful behavior. She's better than that, and she'll cut ties with anyone who doesn't understand that.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor's degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
