The Art Of Being Drama-Free: 4 Simple Habits Of People Who Protect Their Peace Like It’s Sacred
How people who live drama-free keep their peace untouchable.
Benjamin Fay | Unsplash You've probably noticed that certain people seem unbothered by the storms swirling around them. Not because they're detached or uncaring, but because they've made a conscious choice about what deserves their energy.
The habits that create this kind of peace don't require years of practice. They're simple shifts in how you think and respond with the people around you. Once you see them in action, you'll wonder why you didn't prioritize them sooner — especially when it comes to your relationships.
Here are 4 simple habits of people who protect their peace like it’s sacred:
1. They accept that there are differences between people
One of the biggest sources of dating drama is ignoring the fact that men and women think, act, and communicate differently. Without realizing it, women speak their own language and expect a man to understand. No wonder new relationships can be so confusing and frustrating.
Most women and men aren't clear about what they need and don't know that their primary needs are different; this lack of communication and awareness can cause emotional resentment. Richard Drobnick, a licensed social worker, has explained that our brains are wired differently, our hormones are different, and we typically have differing emotional needs.
2. They live in the moment
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Men love to enjoy the here and now. There will come a time, usually after several months of dating someone special, when most guys will start to evaluate their feelings and think about a possible future together.
Most women would prefer them to hurry up and make up their minds. After all, we want some assurance that the time we’re spending with a new guy is worth our while.
From the first date, we’re usually wondering, “Does this guy have long-term potential?” And after a few weeks, we’re most likely thinking, “Where is this going? Is he planning on getting serious, or is he just having fun? Because if we’re not on the same page, I need to move on.”
It’s at this point that many women make one of the biggest dating mistakes: asking him what he's thinking or pressuring him to define the relationship. When a guy is in the beginning stages of dating you (the first three months, minimum), he’s living in the moment. Even if he hasn’t considered whether he’s in love with you, he knows he loves your company.
My advice at this point is to go with it. Try to just enjoy the present.
3. They don't make other people responsible for all of their needs
It’s not our fault. Society romanticizes the idea that it takes two halves of people coming together to make a whole. We’re conditioned to look for the person who “completes” us. We even refer to our loved ones as “my other half” — or, worse, “my better half.”
The truth is, expecting that another human being can somehow fix us by filling a void within us is simply unfair. In reality, the only way to feel whole is to complete ourselves by living a full and satisfying life.
Don’t let insecurity or low self-worth sabotage a relationship with real potential. If you're struggling with low self-esteem, commit to working through these feelings with a counselor or using self-esteem-building tools.
When you stop expecting your partner to be responsible for your happiness, you eliminate pressure and drama. A surprising bonus: without that pressure, most guys will freely and willingly do things to make you happy. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Relationship therapist Nancy Carbone argued that when you do not invest in yourself, you seek approval to feel better. The real antidote to being truly happy within yourself is mastering self-love, believing in yourself, and focusing on yourself, instead of finding happiness in other people
4. They act rationally, not emotionally
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Often, the things we have the urge to do or say in a moment of emotional weakness are not what we would choose to do or say when we’ve had some time to process our thoughts and feelings. We serve up a big dose of drama when we react emotionally to situations instead of taking a 5-minute “timeout” to think things through and act rationally.
It takes practice, but if you learn to master the skill of putting your heart (emotions) on pause and checking in with your head (your intellect), you will spare yourself a lot of the heartache that you’ve been experiencing by repeating the same simple mistakes.
According to Sharon Saline, clinical psychologist, "slow[ing] things down, pause before responding to anything, expect setbacks, and create a plan for recovering and making amends. Inhibition isn't about suppressing your emotions or pretending they don't exist. It's about creating a pause between what happens to you and how you respond to it. Research has shown that this simple practice can transform your relationships, your decision-making, and your overall quality of life."
So don't despair!. You don't have to play games or turn off your feelings. When you commit to understanding how to be less dramatic, you're allowed to feel and honor all of your emotions just as you normally would, but you'll just learn not to let yourself or your actions be controlled by them.
You'll make decisions and take action from a place of confidence, rather than weakness or desperation. You won't spend another night alone, crying or waiting by the phone. The feelings of neediness will disappear. You will get out of your own way and allow yourself to have a successful relationship.
Paige Parker is an author and the founder of Dating Without Drama. She teaches women to improve their self-esteem and better understand men so they can find and keep a loving relationship.
