Couples Who Survive Everything Together Always Keep These 11 Promises To Each Other
The real secret to a relationship that lasts.
Gorgev | Shutterstock Being in a relationship isn't all sunshine and easy days. Every couple faces challenges — from misunderstandings to life-changing stress — that test how strong their connection really is. The truth is, love alone isn't enough to keep two people together through everything. The couples who survive it all do something different: they make and keep unspoken promises that hold them together when life gets hard.
Couples who last know that commitment isn't about perfection — it's about showing up, staying honest, and choosing each other every day, even when it's inconvenient. They don't just hope their relationship will work; they actively protect it. These promises are the foundation of love that truly lasts.
Couples who survive everything together always keep these 11 promises to each other:
1. They promise to always be honest — even when it's hard
Mladen Mitrinovic | Shutterstock
Couples who survive everything together always promise to communicate honestly. It isn't always easy; however, couples do their best to be upfront with one another. Even if being upfront means hurting feelings, it's better to hurt someone with the truth than kiss them with a lie. As psychologist Rick Hanson, Ph.D., explained, "A good process must include telling the truth and playing fair. It is not a guarantee, but lying and cheating are guaranteed to poison relationships over time."
While this may seem obvious, many couples struggle to be upfront. Whether it's because they don't have a strong connection or because they're terrified of being vulnerable, some couples would rather lie or ignore an issue for the sake of keeping peace. However, as most people know, holding in those intense emotions is bad and can end in disaster, which is why couples always swear to be honest.
2. They promise to stay on the same team
Gordonkoff | Shutterstock
Most people have seen those destructive couples before. Whether it's arguing in front of friends or belittling one another in front of family, some couples are clearly against one another. However, couples who survive everything together always promise to be on the same team, no matter what. Sure, couples are going to have their differences. Whether it's a difference in opinion or a difference in how they go about things, these differences shouldn't be discouraged for the sake of 'being a team.'
That being said, when they're in the public eye, it's always better to be a couple that is united, versus one that's divided. Not only does it prevent misunderstandings or resentment from brewing, but it also does a good job at keeping couples intact. Working together, these couples focus on how to move as a team, ensuring that they stick together, no matter what life throws their way.
3. They promise to have each other's backs in public
PeopleImages | Shutterstock
Now, there's no denying that some partners do things that are pretty hard to defend. From being reckless to being self-centered, it's tempting to scream or berate them. And while it may be tempting to do so, couples who survive everything together always promise to stand up for one another. In the privacy of their home, they can have a discussion about how they truly feel and what they need to improve on.
However, when they're in public, it's always good to stand up to one another. Whether it's defending against toxic in-laws or defending against questionable strangers, couples that stand up for one another tend to have a long-lasting relationship. Of course, it isn't always easy. Sometimes, their partner isn't always right, making standing up more difficult. Yet, as therapist Ariadne Platero LMSW said, "Showing unconditional attention and support is a basic underpinning of strong and vital relationships." So, give them that support, and if necessary, don't be afraid to step in.
4. They promise to choose each other every day
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
It's normal for couples to get upset with one another. As much as couples may try to keep the peace, there's bound to be a team when they're at one another's throats. That being said, couples who survive everything together always promise to choose each other daily. It isn't always easy, but couples learn to set aside their differences and work through them together. Of course, it doesn't always happen right away.
For some, it takes an incredible amount of willpower to keep their emotions in check. However, because they're committed to choosing one another daily, they're also committed to working through things, no matter how difficult it may be.
5. They promise not to go to bed angry
Zmaster | Shutterstock
Most people have heard that it's better to work through issues with a clearer head than to continue arguing. And while that's mostly true, couples who survive everything together always promise to never go to bed angry. It sounds counterintuitive; however, going to bed angry allows for resentment and unresolved issues to brew. Without realizing it, couples stunt their growth by ignoring issues and choosing to 'hold it off until another day.'
According to trial attorney Wendy L. Patrick, J.D., M.Div., Ph.D., "However we view it, a 'conflict hangover' the morning after a night of arguing can negatively impact the entire day." So, while it may be frustrating, take a fifteen-minute break and come back to discuss afterwards. Not only does it allow both parties to clear their head, but it also makes the conversation more productive as they're better able to articulate how they feel.
6. They promise to keep emotional intimacy alive
G-Stock Studio | Shutterstock
Keeping emotional intimacy alive isn't as easy as most people may think. Sure, paying attention to their partner's emotions and being honest is part of emotional intimacy. However, if a couple truly wants to thrive, digging deeper is extremely important. Not only is emotional intimacy crucial to get through the tough times together, but it's also important to keep other things like physical intimacy alive.
So, if couples are currently struggling, according to psychologist Cara Gardenswartz, Ph.D., "Prioritizing quality time together, such as planning regular date nights or engaging in shared hobbies, can rekindle emotional intimacy."That being said, they must be consistent. Dates and hanging out shouldn't just be reserved for holidays or the weekends. Remember: to truly thrive as a couple, you need to show up every day, not some days.
7. They promise to support each other through the hard times
vormonaman | Shutterstock
Sometimes, in order to get through the bad times, couples who survive everything together always keep the promise to support one another through the bad times. It isn't always as easy as promising one another; however, couples who truly want to make it work will always do their best to keep this promise. Even if it's difficult, they support their partner and give their partner the necessary tools to thrive.
Whether that means encouraging them to go to therapy or holding it down financially while their partner is between jobs, couples who are committed will always hold it down until their partner can get back on their feet. Even if it takes a bit, those who see themselves with this person for life don't mind. So long as they're making active steps alongside them, supporting one another is the least they can do.
8. They promise to make time for each other
Zamrznuti tonovi | Shutterstock
Life gets busy, and sometimes, couples don't always have time for each other. Whether it's because of their jobs or family situations, couples who survive everything together always keep the promise to make time for one another. Believe it or not, couples don't have to spend hours on end to ensure their relationship remains intact. So long as they're meeting the minimum requirements, couples are free to do whatever else they want to do in their spare time.
According to the Gottman Institute, couples need to spend on average 6 hours a week together to have a happy relationship. So, if they're able to spend almost an hour a day today, that's more than okay. That being said, if one partner wants to spend just a bit more time together, encourage it. Even if someone wants to game or read afterwards, catering to their partner's need for time spent together should always be their priority.
9. They promise to speak kindly — even when frustrated
Hananeko_Studio | Shutterstock
On the surface, it sounds simple, right? Always be kind to one's partner and never step on their toes. However, being kind and respectful isn't as easy as some make it seem. For many, it's normal to grow frustrated and want to snap at their partner for the littlest things. After having to remind them to pick up their clothes for the hundredth time, who can blame someone if they call their partner rude and lazy?
Yet, while their feelings are completely justifiable, talking disrespectfully is bound to backfire. Not only does it create contempt and resentment, but it also leads to the separation of their relationship. So, if someone's partner isn't listening, figure out a way to set reminders or seek professional help. It might sound excessive, but breaking a habit doesn't just happen overnight. This is why having solutions and patience is extremely important; otherwise, they'll drive one another insane.
10. They promise to keep growing as individuals
VH-studio | Shutterstock
There's a popular misconception that couples need to help one another out all the time. And while helping one another out is great, there are some things couples need to do alone. Not to be rude or uncaring, however, couples who survive everything together always promise to work on themselves. Sorry, but if couples truly want to thrive, they need to start by working on themselves and their mental health.
It sucks, but nobody else can force them to change or get help. So, if couples truly want to thrive in life, they need to start by doing it on their own. Whether it's going to therapy, exercising, or meditating, finding ways to ground themselves and their trauma is a must for any relationship. Thankfully, couples who survive everything together know this, which is why they honor the promise religiously.
11. They promise to never lose their friendship
Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock
Finally, couples who go through everything together always promise never to lose their friendship. It might sound cheesy, but friendship is the foundation of any romantic relationship. Without a strong connection and bond, there's likely to be a disconnect in any relationship they have. That’s why couples prioritize spending time together and, most importantly, doing their best to keep life light and fun.
Of course, this is far from easy with everything happening in the world. However, according to a study published in 2025, couples who said they were good friends also reported higher levels of closeness in their relationship. So, even if it feels cheesy, remember to never lose that friendship aspect. Because while love might fade, friendship is the glue that keeps them together during life's toughest moments.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
