The Art Of Partnership: 6 Ways To Be On The Same Team When You’re Totally Different People
Opposites don't have to clash; they can complement.
Helena Lopes | Canva When two people come together with different personalities and perspectives, it might seem like a recipe for conflict. But the truth is, some of the strongest partnerships are built between people who see the world through completely different lenses.
Whether you're navigating a romantic relationship, a business partnership, or a deep friendship, the ability to celebrate differences is what separates partnerships that survive from those that genuinely thrive. Being on the same team means respecting your unique strengths and choosing to move forward as a unit.
Here are six ways to be on the same team when you’re totally different people:
1. Spend time by yourself first
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Spend some time thinking and meditating about the last year together. If you are the praying type, you can do that too. Write down things that come to mind that you want to do better with your spouse, or what you want to achieve together.
Before you sit down together to align on shared goals, take time for solitary reflection. According to personal development coach Inez Bracy, meditation and reflection are excellent ways of exercising control over your mind.
2. Pick three big idea words
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Writer Chris Brogan suggests that all your relationship goals should fall under three big idea words for the year. You set your three words, which act as what he calls "lighthouses." Every goal you set should line up under one of those three words.
Alignment with your goals is the most critical factor in achieving them, argues energy healer Christy Whitman. Every goal you set as a team should connect back to one of these three words. This framework helps you stay focused, creates clarity around your shared priorities, and ensures that even when you approach things differently, you're still moving in the same direction.
3. Start small
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My friend Dr. Corey Allan says to start stupid small. Keep it simple and don't overwhelm yourself. If you have big goals, break them down to stupid small steps, and take them one small step at a time.
It didn't take one day to get where you are in your marriage, and it won't take one day to get out either. But if you take small steps, you'll be 365 steps closer to where you want to be by the end of the year.
4. Break your goals into categories
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When you write your partnership goals down in categories, it helps you focus on one specific area at a time. Some might include: Personal, financial, spiritual, giving, influence, lifestyle, travel, physical, fitness, things to learn, sites to see, etc. These are all examples of categories that might be on your list.
Mary Morrissey, a transformational coach, recommends starting with four foundational areas: health, love and relationships, work, and financial and time-related freedom. By organizing your goals this way, you create clarity around what truly matters to you and signal to your brain that these ambitions deserve serious attention.
5. Write out your goals separately
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After you have given thought to your goals, set a time, do a date night, and talk with your spouse to see where your goals are similar. Combine them to make your marriage goals.
When you have clarity about what is important to you individually and as a team, you remove the fears and doubts that destabilize a relationship, couples therapist Lisa Rabinowitz found. By taking time to write out your personal goals first and then coming together to identify where your aspirations align, you create the foundation for collaborative partnership goals that honor both partners' individual needs while strengthening your marriage as a unit.
6. Celebrate achieved goals
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Celebration is a big part of goal-setting. When you celebrate a goal reached, it tends to motivate you to want to achieve more.
Behavioral therapist Dan Kolubinski notes that one of the loveliest habits that can make your relationship better is celebrating small, special moments. When you pause to recognize the goals you've achieved together, whether major milestones or everyday victories, you're reinforcing that you're on the same team.
Stu Gray hosts the Stupendous Marriage Show with his wife, where they encourage challenge and inspire married couples to have the best relationships possible.
