If Someone Is Actually Narcissistic, They'll Likely Have These 11 Delusions About Themselves & Their Lives
A true narcissist finds comfort and familiarity in their delusions.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock Narcissism is often a term that's thrown around haphazardly for anyone that might exhibit signs of being self-centered. However, a true narcissistic person is way more complex than just being into themselves all of the time. It's usually deeply ingrained into their personality, affecting the relationships they make and the life they lead. The best way to spot a narcissist is by paying attention to the delusions they may have about themselves and the life that they're leading. It's more than just exaggerations, but they genuinely believe a lot of these things are real.
The problem is that it can be hard to spot a narcissist at first. They're usually incredibly charming and really good at putting on a mask of who they want other people to think they are versus who they actually are inside. But underneath all of that charm is the truth about the mindset they actually have. Because whether it's feeling superior or never being to blame, if someone is actually narcissistic, they'll likely have these delusions about themselves and their lives. And the more you understand and learn about them, the less likely it'll be that they can hold their own delusions over you.
The 11 delusions narcissists have about themselves and their lives
1. They're inherently superior to everyone else
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Narcissistic people often believe that they're just better than everyone else. To them, it isn't a confidence thing but this deep-rooted belief that no one can compare. They think everything, from their ideas to their sense of style, automatically places them above the rest of the world, and they expect other people to believe the same thing as well.
According to research published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, true narcissists have an enhanced view of themselves. They also think themselves to be more intelligent, better leaders, and more physically attractive than others think them to be.
It manifests in how they interact with people and even how they treat those that they're in relationships with, whether it's romantic or platonic. They dismiss anyone else's opinion if it doesn't fully align with their own, and they act like their perspective is the only one that matters.
2. People are jealous of them
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If someone is actually narcissistic, they'll likely have delusions about themselves related to the ways people perceive them. In this case, they think people are always jealous of them. And considering how much narcissists think other people are thinking about them, it's not shocking that they'll immediately jump to this conclusion.
Their egos might be fragile, but they're still huge. Because of that, they think people want to walk in their shoes all of the time. They think they're the best thing since sliced bread, and every little thing they're doing is just so triggering for others.
That's why they try their hardest to outdo people and come out on top, even in the most mundane of situations. They can't seem to realize that other people have their own things going on that they aren't even really thinking of.
3. Rules don't apply to them
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Narcissists usually have this deep conviction that they are above all of the normal expectations that other people are supposed to be following. A big part of this delusion is their entitlement.
If they think the rules just don't apply to them, they assume that they're also owed some privileges in life as well. They expect special treatment and may even go as far as to cut people in line or demand that deadlines be changed to meet their lifestyle.
"Narcissists hate rules because they want to be free to do what they want. They consider themselves above rules — since they are superior, why should they have to abide by any rules at all?" explained therapist Bill Eddy. "It's not a two-way street. You have to follow the rules, but they shouldn't have to, in their minds."
What they don't seem to realize is that they're not above rules at all. In fact, their resistance to it is probably the reason for why they have so much conflict and tension in their relationships. People have a tendency of steering clear of others that can't seem to respect the fact that rules aren't optional.
4. They're irreplaceable
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It's quite hard for a narcissist to believe that they're replaceable. They see themselves as someone that's just unique in every single way and therefore essential in everyone's lives. This mindset is incredibly exhausting for the people around them, as they just end up feeling this pressure to always accommodate their needs.
Boundaries are often pushed out of the way or ignored completely because a narcissist never believes that they're the problem and assumes that their presence outweighs what anyone else needs or wants. This delusion allows them to just ignore their own flaws and actually take the time to look inward.
5. Everyone should admire and respect them
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Narcissists just assume that their mere existence is enough to warrant respect and admiration from everyone around them. It shows in the way they dominate conversations and constantly expect compliments even in the most casual of settings. If they notice that someone isn't reacting in the way that they expect, they take it as a personal rejection and may even lash out as well.
"Narcissists work hard to maintain the positive views they have of themselves by achieving success in social domains. They tend to seek social status, try to be popular, and attempt to take on leadership roles. This suggests that the impressions they make on others are very important to them," explained psychologist Gwendolyn Seidman.
Because narcissists are incredibly entitled, they automatically think that just walking into a room is impressive enough to warrant some sort of recognition. Rarely do they ever put in hard work into their accomplishments, or even stop to think that respect and admiration are earned, not just given.
6. Other people exist just to serve them
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One of the biggest delusions that narcissists tend to have is that other people are just at their beck and call whenever they need it. They see people as tools rather than those that they can build genuine relationships with.
They might expect constant favors and help when the need arises or emotional support. But the problem with this is that they can never offer the same to others in return.
"There is no limit on what they might expect from others. Interpersonal relationships are a one-way street, because other people are considered inferior and not separate from them. They don't recognize their behavior as hypocritical, because they feel superior and special," pointed out licensed marriage and family therapist Darlene Lancer.
Suddenly, they're way "too busy" and have zero time to show up in the ways that they expect other people to show up for them. If someone isn't automatically responding to their requests, they act resentful, as if the other person had some sort of duty to drop everything they had going on just to show up for them. But it's hard for people to even want to do that when they know they won't get the same back from them.
7. They can always win arguments
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Narcissists wholeheartedly believe that they're always in the right and therefore, whenever they get into arguments with people, they're automatically assuming they're the ones in the right. They view conflict as a sort of competition and need to come out on top in whatever argument they're having with someone.
This can be extremely frustrating to the other person, who is just trying to come to some sort of resolution but instead is stuck having to argue with someone who feels this incessant to be both right and the winner. Because they struggle with admitting when they're wrong, they just spend all of this time convincing both themselves and others that they're never, ever wrong.
8. Their failures are never their fault
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If someone is actually narcissistic, they'll likely have the delusion about themselves and their lives that they're not responsible for their failures. They're constantly pointing the finger at other people rather than turning that finger back on themselves.
If something is going wrong in their lives, they simply cannot be the culprit of it. Instead, they'll blame family members, friends, and even their own trauma for why they're acting out.
"While healthier people are hurt by disappointment or disapproval, the narcissist feels completely destabilized by it. He cannot get 'back on the horse.' The narcissist cannot maintain his sense of worth and is dependent on others for sustenance," says psychotherapist Roberta Satow.
Part of the reason for this is because their egos are quite fragile. Actually taking the time to admit that they failed means they're image of being this exceptional person will be shattered. So, to prevent that from happening, they have to just pretend that they're above all mistakes, and the worst part is that they tend to really believe it. They've convinced themselves that they're never at fault to the point where it's hard to tell them otherwise.
9. Their life is more exciting than anyone else's
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Narcissists have a tendency of exaggerating their accomplishments and embellishing stories just to keep up the appearance that their lives are so, so exciting. The reality is, they desire to be admired and to do that, they need to one-up everyone else.
Even if they have nothing at all going on, they'll pretend that they do just to see the reactions of those around them. In their mind, they need to maintain status and the best way to do that is to come across as if you have a lot going on all of the time.
Not only that, but the things going on in their lives are just incredibly important. Rarely do they ever leave room for other people to talk about what they have going on, and if they do, chances are they're not listening in the slightest.
10. Everyone is obligated to like them
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In the same way that narcissists demand respect and admiration, they think that it means everyone they meet should just automatically like them. And if someone is actually narcissistic, they'll likely have this delusion about themselves and their lives.
They truly can't stand when a person isn't vibing with them or doesn't enjoy being in their company. They take it as some kind of personal slight when, in reality, not everyone we meet is going to like us.
"The most important person in the life of a narcissist is the narcissist. They can temporarily put others ahead of themselves, but only when they somehow benefit from it. Children, partners, friends, even coworkers are often allowed in the narcissist's orbit only for their own personal gain," certified life coach Kristy Lee Parkin said.
That's normal, and unless they're being outright rude about it, it's best to just let it go and focus on the people that actually do like you. But narcissists simply can't handle that. They desperately need to be in everyone's good graces and will live under this delusion that people should just automatically like them, even if they aren't doing anything to be liked in the first place.
11. They're destined to be remembered
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Nothing can anger a narcissist quicker than having to think that they won't be remembered once they're no longer here. Even if they haven't done anything worth remembering, in their minds, the world should still somehow recognize their greatness. They'll often talk about their legacy and impact as if it's something that should be written down in the history books.
For them to actually admit that they might not be remembered in the way they're looking for will only damage how they view themselves, so they live in this delusion to protect that. By insisting they're someone of significance, they can continue to feel important.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
