Women Who Stop People Pleasing To Become Weird, Feral & A Little Unhinged Usually Have These 11 Beautiful Reasons
Call it unhinged if you want. She calls it peace.
mehmetcan | Shutterstock While words like “feral” and “unhinged” might be somewhat Gen Z-coded, the empowerment and sentiment behind their feelings can genuinely change a woman’s life. Especially considering so many women are taught to be agreeable and quiet from a young age, always living for other people, putting their needs on the back burner, and falling in line with gendered social expectations, aging can bring a new chapter of freedom if they’re open to it.
Aging, especially for women, is often controlled, policed, and stigmatized for this exact reason — with age and experience comes confidence and wisdom that threaten social structures and stereotypes that keep women stuck in limiting mindsets. However, women who stop people-pleasing to become weird, feral, and a little unhinged usually have countless beautiful reasons — from internal confidence to a refusal to tolerate others' opinions — that protect them from being shamed into silence.
Women who stop people pleasing to become weird, feral, and a little unhinged usually have these 11 beautiful reasons:
1. They’re tired of chasing validation
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Many people seeking validation from others do so out of insecurity. They lack the emotional skills or internal resources to satisfy and calm themselves, so they rely on others for acceptance, attention, and validation instead. Of course, this is a fleeting fix for low self-esteem, and for women, especially, it can leave them in transactional relationships and cause them to put their own needs aside to please others.
When your world is centered around external validation, you’re not living for yourself — you’re living in accordance with what other people deem as appropriate and worthy. However, women who stop people pleasing to become weird, feral, and a little unhinged are tired of this cycle of validation, isolation, and disappointment.
They’re not only self-aware, but they accept themselves for who they are and promote self-connection that boosts mental health and general well-being. They live for themselves, make choices in their best interest, and most importantly, seek out love internally before turning to others for validation.
2. They've stopped playing by outdated social rules
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While recent efforts to create new social norms have helped reduce some tension and discrimination related to gender, many traditional norms still lead to discriminatory inequalities between men and women today, according to a study from the Sociology of Health & Illness journal.
From patriarchal expectations in traditional marriages to emotional work burdens in relationships, gendered beauty standards, and workplace discrepancies for women, many social norms today still put women at risk of insecurity, inferiority, and harm.
However, women who actively avoid participating in these social norms and even live advocate lives expressing their distaste for them generally become authentic versions of themselves without restraint. They’re no longer living according to expectations that don’t consider their best interests, so they’re loud, unique, authentic, and lovely people.
3. They finally feel free
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Living an authentic life is incredibly freeing. Whether it’s expressing yourself visually in a way that feels empowering, making choices in your best interest, pursuing a career you love, or finding meaning in small moments, embodying authenticity is truly revolutionary.
While some women may have spent the first half of their lives living for others and suppressing their authenticity to please people in their lives, they have now released their internal shame and started prioritizing themselves.
Being your authentic self is not always easy at first. You have to learn how to say “no," walk away from people who aren’t right for you, and face rigid yet concrete social norms head-on to challenge them. Although women who do this successfully are often labeled as “feral,” loud, and menacing, they are truly just being authentic.
4. They'd rather be disliked for being real than praised for pretending
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With the wisdom and experience that come with age, women learn how to be genuinely authentic. Yet, they also embrace the safety and security of that authenticity and internal satisfaction in a new way. They build trust in themselves and establish a foundation where they are now the center of their own lives, not their kids, partners, careers, or men in general.
They no longer censor themselves to please others or change their personality around different people to make everyone comfortable. They are being themselves, without penalties or restrictions, because they prefer to be disliked for who they are rather than praised for pretending to be someone they’re not.
5. They see vulnerability as strength
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While there are many ways to build healthy relationships, both with yourself and others, women who stop people pleasing to become weird, feral, and a little unhinged often embrace vulnerability as their motivator. Like psychologist Dave Smallen argues, vulnerability might not always be accepted by others or feel secure in an unwelcoming space, but it’s often one of the quickest paths to genuine human connection.
These women have learned to embrace their emotions, leaning into them and making space for addressing them, rather than quickly suppressing or dismissing them. Their close relationships, community, and connections all revolve around emotion and vulnerability, which partly explains why they feel so happy and fulfilled, as a 2024 study indicates.
Of course, women’s brains are naturally wired for intuitive thought, so when they make space to listen to their gut and acknowledge their deep emotions, they tend to feel more empowered and safe — even if others continue to push them back into rigid, unhelpful, and misguided gender stereotypes.
6. They've made peace with their bodies
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As a 2015 study explains, women often struggle with more unhealthy and shame-filled relationships with their bodies as they age, mainly because society demonizes the aging process for women more than for men. Women are consistently pushed to be thinner, smaller, and “younger,” while men are seen as more attractive and tougher with age, which helps them build external confidence in the world.
However, women who stop people-pleasing as they get older also stop changing their bodies to please others. They begin to focus on what feels good for them — whether it’s physical activity they enjoy, comfortable clothing, or a style they prefer.
Besides their appearance and embracing the changes that aging brings, women who become weird, feral, and a little unhinged to the average person may also develop a powerful intuition and trust. Other women are demonized for accepting their bodies, ridiculed for trusting themselves, and even dismissed by medical professionals, but these women have a strong connection that guides them toward inner peace.
7. They've released old, limiting beliefs
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Whether they stem from toxic relationships, traditional gender norms, or personal insecurities, many women who have embraced their true nature, authenticity, and self-confidence with age have let go of limiting beliefs.
They not only trust themselves, but they also know that whatever they set their mind to, they are capable of achieving. Whatever challenges come their way, they trust, love, and appreciate themselves enough to handle them with grace.
8. They've stopped apologizing for existing
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Women are often pressured to be more agreeable, warm, and soft. That’s why, traditionally, “masculine” qualities like assertiveness, which men are praised for in environments like the workplace, are considered just “rude” for the average woman to display.
However, women who are now largely condemned by traditionalists and our patriarchal society don’t apologize for being themselves. They’re happy living their lives without people-pleasing and over-apologizing, because they know authenticity is healthier and more fulfilling than trying to appease everyone by being smaller, quieter, and more agreeable.
9. They're proudly feminist
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Although “feminism” is often misunderstood and sometimes controversial today, as society becomes more conservative, women who stop people-pleasing and start prioritizing themselves are feminists at heart.
No, that doesn’t mean they’re “man haters” or trying to give women unfair advantages in life — they simply act with their own self-assuredness. They don’t follow social norms that don’t serve them, and don’t want to be demonized for being assertive, confident, or empowered.
They want other women to have the freedom to be whoever they want, without facing social dismissal or invalidation for doing so.
10. They've learned to prioritize their own needs
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Women who regularly suppress their anger and complex emotions are often at higher risk for physical illnesses like heart disease, according to a study from the American Journal of Epidemiology. So, putting their needs on the back burner might seem like an innocent way to show love or make others feel important, but it only endangers their longevity and health.
Women who stop people pleasing are motivated by their self-assuredness. They start to notice how suppressing concerns and putting others first leads to more unhappiness in their lives, especially once their kids move out or they’ve grown apart from a partner.
11. They've fallen in love with solitude
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Even if indulging in alone time is initially uncomfortable and disorienting, it’s often one of the things women need to reconnect with themselves later in life. Especially after having kids or being in a long-term relationship for many years, it can be easy to neglect personal identity in favor of being a “mother” or “wife.”
Women who stop people-pleasing to become eccentric, wild, and a little unhinged often have these beautiful reasons — they’ve started putting themselves first, reconnecting with their internal desires, and making room for time that’s entirely their own.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
