How To Seek Validation From Within Instead Of Comparing Yourself To Others

Get validation from within, instead.

By Kristine Carlson — Written on May 21, 2020

Photo: getty

How To Seek Validation From Within Instead Of Comparing Yourself To Others

Are you constantly comparing yourself to others? Are you constantly seeking outside validation or opinions?

It's time to learn how to break out of the grip of comparison culture and find validation from within instead.

We are all in different parts of our journey, and we all started from different places. We started this life energetically where we ended in our last life.

We are all apples and oranges — there is no comparison!

Comparing yourself to others only distracts you from yourself and your purpose. Only compare yourself to where you were, not to anyone else!

When you catch yourself comparing yourself to others, put the focus back on yourself and look inward.

You can use others as a reference point or to help spark ideas, but be very vigilant that you aren't comparing yourself to others or seeking their validation.

What would you like to strive for? What do you have as motivation?

Beating yourself up because you aren't where someone else is right now won't help. In fact, this will only slow down your progress.

You can only see others through your perspective.

From the outside, everything may seem great for another person. But in reality, they may be in a worse place than you realize.

Comparing yourself to others is a distraction tool to justify not moving forward because going forward can be scary. Sometimes, we do anything we can subconsciously to justify staying stuck.

When you're stuck, you don't have the fear of something new, but you also never have the joy and reward of moving forward.

Someone who is stuck can never create a better life for themselves.

There will always be some fear involved when moving forward, but it's important to push through that fear towards your goals.

So look deep inside, and be sure you aren't subconsciously justifying staying stuck. It could manifest as, "I could never be like her, why even try?" Or, "She did that so well I couldn't do that well so why bother."

You can never find yourself fully if you are basing your self-assurance on what others do.

At soul level, we are all so different. This is a beautiful thing! If we were all the same, how boring would that be?

Often, the cause of comparing and looking to others for validation is a lack of knowing your own self. When you don't know yourself or are insecure in yourself, you don't trust your own validation.

You can change that by focusing on what you do like about yourself. You have a lot of wonderful qualities — don't hide them!

Start actively working on the things you aren't happy about.

We are always a work in progress and can always become who we want to be with action and effort. So, instead of comparing and being down on yourself, work on those things!

Just doing that will give you a bigger sense of control and confidence!

Try not to focus too much on physical aspects.

Yes, you want to be healthy and do what's in your control to make you feel and look good. But don't get down on yourself about things you can't change about your appearance.

We are only in the physical body for a short amount of time. We have our soul forever — that's what's important.

Focus on working on what you can change and let go of what you can't. Looking for validation from others will only bring you farther from yourself.

For example, if an apple seeks validation from an orange, the orange may tell the apple, "You are too green and need to be more orange!"

So, the apple fights and tries and does anything it can to turn orange. As the apple tries to become orange, it is becoming less and less of its true self.

At soul level, the apple is an apple and needs to be proud of that because becoming more like an orange only takes the apple off of its own path.

Be more of you, not someone else.

Our ego can also get in the way sometimes. Look deep and find out why it matters so much to you to be like others or compare yourself to them.

In the end, none of that matters. You are here on earth to express yourself!

Be you and let go of that need for outside validation — don't let it have power over you. It's all from a different perspective and doesn't really count when it boils down to it, anyway.

Your perspective is what matters!

Get more in-tune with you and what you want! The more you are focused on and working on you, the less you will care about or seek validation from the outside.

We all have different goals to accomplish and different reasons why. Only you can work towards them in your way.

The key is knowing who you are. It can be tricky for those who may have been led astray from themselves for a while.

It's never too late to find yourself.

Start by erasing other people's opinions and focus deeper on what you feel without outside influence getting in the way.

When you get validation from others but don't believe it yourself, do you downplay it to them? Do you say, "Thank you but, no, I did horrible"?

Looking for validation outside yourself, even if you do get it, is not going to change the way you feel. It may be nice to hear but what's most important is for you to believe it, yourself.