Women Who Get More Blunt As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
The older a woman gets, the more she realizes how valuable it is to speak her mind.
Anna Nahabed | Shutterstock As women age, something beautiful happens. Because they've experienced different facets of life, learned the hardest lessons, and endured obstacles that allowed them to come out on the other side stronger than ever, they're able to say what they mean without hesitation. Older women no longer care about mincing their words, tiptoeing around the difficult conversations, or even trying to pander to others by softening their words just so that people feel comfortable. They simply don't have the time or energy to sugarcoat things anymore.
It isn't even about being rude, but about letting go of this pressure that young women and girls feel to always be nice and amenable. Whether it's because they've become bolder or are trusting their intuition, there are numerous reasons women who get more blunt as they get older usually have. Eventually, they've become tired of shrinking themselves so other people don't feel intimidated — so much so that they start valuing their own peace of mind over trying to get someone else's approval.
Here are 11 reasons women who get more blunt as they get older usually have
1. They know themselves better now
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One of the reasons women who get more blunt as they get older usually have is that they are not only comfortable with themselves, but they finally know who they are. When you're young, it's easy to not really have such a strong sense of self and voice. You're more open to hearing other people's opinions about who you should be and what path you're supposed to follow.
"Learning to accept reality is hard, but it's a significant step towards finding calm and peace. Removing expectations doesn't mean lowering your bar, but rather letting go of the unnecessary pressure. Only when we are relaxed can we give our best," encouraged leadership consultant Gustavo Razzetti. "Any moment is a turning point if you decide to make the most of it. You are in charge. Love your life. Accept the worst and hope for the best."
Over time, through having your own lived experiences and taking time to really discover who you are, the part of you that is willing to please others completely disappears. Older women no longer have the capacity to tolerate things they know won't serve them any more. They become more self-aware and, suddenly, they have zero need to justify the decisions they make and the life they want to live.
2. They don't need permission to be honest
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For so long, women have been made to feel that they need to cushion what they feel and think, or even wait for the right moment to say what's on their mind. After years of holding themselves back, the older a woman gets the more it clicks for her that she doesn't need anyone's permission to speak her truth.
She realizes that honesty isn't rude and filtering herself to make others comfortable will just end up diluting her own energy in the process. When they speak now, they don't wait for signals to say that it's fine and they don't overthink either. They simply say what needs to be said, and it's respectful but direct. They've just outgrown this need to walk on eggshells just to be palatable for others.
3. They're tired of carrying the emotional labor
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For so long, women have carried this expectation of being the ones that carry the emotional labor in every facet of life. From their romantic relationships, to family dynamics, and even in the workplace, they're the ones who are expected to smooth over conflict, be the listening ear for people's problems, advocate for others, and bestow their validation to make people feel better in certain scenarios.
"You don't have to be the fixer, the smoother, the caretaker. You're allowed to focus. You're allowed to protect your energy. You're allowed to lead without over-functioning," explained women's leadership expert Megan Dalla-Camina. "The more we name the emotional labour tax, the more we can shift it — from silent expectation to conscious, shared responsibility."
It's this constant job that rarely gets acknowledged, and at a certain point, the older a woman gets the more she realizes how exhausting it is. She no longer wants to be the one that's biting her tongue or checking her tone.
She eventually stops trying to make everyone else feel good when it's only ever taking a toll on her. She finally realizes that she's not the person who should be responsible for everyone else's comfort.
4. They're less afraid of judgment
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One of the most freeing aspects of getting older is no longer caring what other people think. As women age, they are finally at peace from staying quiet just to appease others and attempting to not overstep so they aren't labeled as being "too much" or taking up space.
Not caring about the judgment of others is yet another of the reasons women who get more blunt as they get older usually have, as they realize there's nothing fun about having to dim your light because of how other people may perceive them.
"While we all want to make good impressions and appear a certain way, we cannot control how others view us. We often do ineffective things to manage the judgment of others because of our fears, and then we often suffer in the long run," pointed out clinical psychologist Bonnie Zucker.
When they speak bluntly at their age, it's not because they don't care what anyone thinks, but because they care more about staying true to themselves than about fitting into someone's parameters of what they're comfortable with. They just become extremely fearless and stopped being the kind of woman that needs everyone's approval just to live their lives.
5. They don't need everyone to understand them
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As women age, they no longer feel the need to be understood by everyone. They trust their voice and know that the choices they make are good for them and shouldn't need to be validated by someone else.
There may have once been a point in their lives when they took it personally that someone didn't understand or even support the decisions they would make. But with both time and the necessary experience, they've realized that not everyone should and will understand them.
As long as they're content with the way they're living their lives, that's all that matters. Some people might think they're being too harsh, but they've just accepted that they don't need to spend their energy trying to convince people their opinions are wrong.
6. They've stopped trying to be liked by everyone
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Young women are often expected to be pleasant and accommodating by everyone they encounter, even if it goes against their own needs. There's this outdated stigma that women need to bend over backwards just to make others happy without thinking of their own feelings, and if someone doesn't like them, it means they just have to try harder to be liked.
As women age, though, they realize that it's not only exhausting to be catering to everyone else, but also impossible to be liked by every single person that exists. This shift means they feel more free, and they start to shed that guilt as they become more blunt. They'd rather be respected for being real instead of pretending to be someone else just to be liked.
7. They've gotten good at identifying red flags early
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Similar to trusting their intuition more as they get older, the more years that women get under their belt, the better they are at being able to identify red flags and call them out shamelessly. It's because they've spent so long brushing off behavior that they know doesn't sit right with them, but refuse to acknowledge it because of how that person or situation makes them feel.
"Like a magnet, you may find yourself drawn to the same painful relationship experiences over and over," explained clinical psychologist Roxy Zarrabi. "You may be trying to heal a wound from the past by repeating the same dynamic you witnessed growing up and subconsciously holding onto hope that this time around, you'll experience a different outcome in the present."
Whether it's toxic friendships, manipulative partners, or even selfish co-workers, they start to see the warning signs early and act accordingly. As women age, they learn to notice the patterns and behaviors than believe the words, because people can just weaponize their words to get what they want. That awareness makes them more blunt because they refuse to waste their time with people that aren't worth it.
8. They know the cost of holding things in
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There was a time when women felt this need to keep their thoughts to themselves. Whether it was just to avoid hurting other people's feelings or just trying to be the peacemaker, they would swallow their words and just keep things to themselves.
But over time, staying silent begins to wear on them. Holding things in never ends up making the problem go away, in fact, it can make things worse by bottling it up.
"When you notice yourself feeling upset, practice self-validation and healthy emotional expression. If you experienced negative reactions to your emotions in the past, you may experience shame for feeling your emotions or a feeling that you shouldn't have them. This leads to hiding your feelings rather than expressing them, which makes resolution impossible," insisted therapist Tasha Seiter.
The older a woman gets, the more that feeling tends to disappear. She's no longer holding back when things are bothering her or making her mad. They know what happens to their mental health when they choose to stay silent, so they become blunt and start speaking up. It's not about being rude or cold, but coming from a place of being more direct.
9. They've worked on healing
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The journey of healing is not something that's comfortable in the slightest. It's incredibly messy and sometimes a bit lonely as you just sit through these feelings of pain to overcome them. Women who have done the work know that it's incredibly worth it because they've sat with their thoughts and analyzed their actions. They've confronted truths they might have been uncomfortable with, and going through a journey like that really changes a person's perception.
After enough time of sitting with themselves, they've learned that honesty is a part of recovering and becoming a better person. They're no longer trying to keep the peace by letting things bottle up. They'll say what's on their chest because they didn't go through all of that healing for nothing.
10. They know their intuition is usually right
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Older women spent much of their younger years second-guessing themselves or even being unsure about the decisions they made. They spent so much time trying to navigate whether to trust their gut or just experience things and deal with the aftermath later.
After having gone through a plethora of situations that made them feel uncomfortable, they're now able to learn more about themselves. And trusting that intuition is one of the big reasons women who get more blunt as they get older usually have.
"Although intuition should not be the only basis for which decisions are made, learning to trust your "gut feelings" can be a useful tool and valuable complement to rational thinking and critical analysis. Protect and preserve your energy and embrace the inherent wealth of your intuitive mental, emotional, and behavioral health by being introspective," said counseling psychologist Kisha Braithwaite and licensed doctor M.B. Gooden.
As women age, they start to realize that listening to their intuition will always benefit them. She no longer wants to give people the benefit of the doubt or try to convince herself that she's just overthinking things. Now, when she feels that something is off, she'll listen to her gut and address it head-on. That kind of confidence comes from learning that when something feels wrong, it usually is.
11. They've become their own best friend
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After having lived through too many life experiences and coming out on the other side stronger, as women age they become comfortable with the foundation they've built within themselves. They've learned to enjoy their own company and not be scared of listening to their inner voice instead of trying to silence it. They no longer feel this need to surround themselves with people that don't bring them happiness when they can just get that happiness from being their own best friend.
It's because they've earned the right to not abandon themselves. Being your own best friend truly changes the way you communicate. You stop watering yourself down and become more real. It's because you're protecting your energy and refuse to give it up for people that may be trying to bring you down.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
