Research Says Most Happy Couples Are Basically Lying About This On Social Media
It should go without saying, but don't believe everything you see online.
See Plus | Unsplash When the man who broke my heart was officially out of my life, after a long and dramatic goodbye that lasted longer than it should have, I took to Instagram to recover. We had blocked each other on social media, but at least with Instagram, I could prove to him that I had moved on and was happy, that is, if he was so inclined to look at my account.
My thinking was that although I was dying inside, I would post photos of just how wonderful my life was without him. I had run off to Paris to recover from the heartbreak, and traveled around Europe for a bit, all the while posting photos of me with a smile on my face as I indulged in pizza in Italy, sangria in Barcelona, and spring in Paris.
This was how I was going to prove to not just him, but to myself, that I was capable of a life that didn’t include him. After a while, I finally convinced myself that I was. I don’t know if he ever snooped around my Instagram, but I want to believe he did.
Instagram, as well as other forms of social media, have become a place where people either show only the great parts of their lives or complain and moan about how awful everything is in the hopes of getting attention.
While it seems like that latter group would be the most annoying, in reality, it's all those "happy" people who irk us. A 2014 study shows that those happy people aren't all that happy after all.
According to research, most happy couples are lying about how happy they really are on social media.
Chinnapong / Shutterstock
The study found that the more insecure the couple was in their relationship, the more they pretended to be happy on social media.
The study, published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, found that when people are dealing with relationship insecurity, they're more likely to post "more relationship-relevant" statuses and photos on social media. In addition, people who are just generally anxious also tend to do the same. It's the whole "smile, though your heart is aching" concept.
Wanting to prove that things are better than they are makes total sense. I've always wondered why people take to TikTok to air their dirty laundry and complain about how their boyfriend just cheated on them, and this has happened more than a few times, and they’ve just suffered a miscarriage.
I understand that in such situations, people want to share their grief, but I’m also of the belief that social media is not the platform for such things.
But painting your life on social media as one big, rosy highlight reel is a bit deluded.
Or is it? Perhaps it's hopeful to look at the sunny side of life, even in your darkest moments. Just like it was hopeful of me posting photos of myself on a yacht in the Hamptons after my break-up, even if the truth was that I was crying into my glass of champagne when the camera wasn’t on me. As I said, it's deluded, but fake until you make it, never hurt anyone.
Amanda Chatel has been a wellness and relationship journalist for over a decade. Her work has been featured in Glamour, Shape, Self, and other outlets.
