Single Men Today Have These 11 Standards That Would Make People In The 1960s Roll Their Eyes

While most social norms and stereotypes around gender have stuck around over the last few decades, there are a few traditional ones that many single people today simply don't indulge in. From adopting a misleading sense of strength for the sake of "masculinity" to letting their own personal peace go overlooked just to be in a relationship, times have certainly changed.

Most single men today have certain standards that would make people in the 1960s roll their eyes. From mental health stigma to relationship expectations, and even gendered stereotypes, a lot can change in 60 years, specifically around singlehood.

Single men today have these 11 standards that would make people in the 1960s roll their eyes

1. Mutual effort while dating

single man on a date expecting mutual effort carballo | Shutterstock

Whether it's paying for bills, driving to dates, or putting in emotional effort, men don't expect to be the only ones "chasing" a potential partner. While traditional gendered norms around men being "providers" and "protectors" certainly still exist in many traditional relationships today, many single men now expect mutual effort while dating.

They don't want to feel like the fate of a relationship is only in their hands and, in many cases, taking on this reciprocal mindset does their mental and physical health a number of favors. They're not taking on unrealistic amounts of stress or responsibility, because it's shared between two partners.

2. Shared values with their partner

couple clinking their glasses over shared values PeopleImages | Shutterstock

A few decades ago, the traditional social norms that fueled dating culture and expectations of marriage were largely baked into the foundations of many homes. Marriage was an inevitable part of life, especially for women. Shared values and standards for partners were less essential, especially in comparison to the general expectation to simply be in a committed relationship.

However, today, experts argue that shared values are the key to cultivating healthy relationships. So, even if people in the 1960s might have rolled their eyes in relationships characterized by misunderstandings and constant arguments about differing values, today, single men have these standards.

3. Emotional maturity

emotionally mature woman playing with male date's cat Mladen Mitrinovic | Shutterstock

While women are often more likely to get away with emotional immaturity in the face of misguided labels like being "dramatic" or "crazy" in their relationships, single men today have certain standards around emotional maturity that they're not interested in overlooking.

With more access to mental health knowledge and resources to understand what it means to be truly emotionally intelligent, immature women aren't being let off the hook anymore. Especially considering more people are waiting until later in life to get married, immaturity isn't an excuse.

4. Emotional vulnerability

single man wanting emotional vulnerability in conversation with date bbernard | Shutterstock

Considering experts suggest that men often need relationships with women more than their female partners, largely because they don't have spaces for vulnerability and emotional expression in their other platonic connections, it's not surprising that this emotional vulnerability crafts single men's standards in the modern world.

While traditional, misguided expectations of "masculinity" are still present and harming young men today, many single men are open to seeking out safe spaces and emotional vulnerability that they've spent their lives yearning for. Men in the 1960s were taught to avoid and suppress emotions, so they may roll their eyes. But it is an important standard to have while navigating the dating world.

5. An element of independence

happy single man wanting an element of independence AboutLife - Raev Denis | Shutterstock

In order to have a strong sense of personal identity and "self," independence is critical. It's the people who take independence and translate it into self-love and personal autonomy who thrive later in life in their relationships, because they truly know who they are and what they want.

So, while some single men may use phrases like "I'm still figuring out what I want" as an excuse for avoiding vulnerability and commitment, many are simply setting the standard for their lives. They're not going to jump into a relationship unless they know who they are and what's truly important to them.

6. Not settling to avoid being alone

single man on a date not willing to settle to avoid being alone GaudiLab | Shutterstock

While marriage was sort of a "nonnegotiable" for young people in the 1960s and something that they were eventually expected to seek out, today, living single, childfree lives is far more normalized and popular.

Single men today may be more empowered to avoid settling for someone they don't truly love, because they're okay with being alone. On a personal and societal level, it's far more normalized, which allows people who thrive in their individuality and personal goals to set their own life paths.

7. Physical intimacy before commitment

man snuggling date expecting intimacy before commitment PeopleImages | Shutterstock

While physical affection like kissing was often intertwined with love for couples in the 1960s, today, having these intimate moments is far more casual. From random strangers at the bar to "situationships" without a label, single men today often expect to have some level of physical intimacy before commitment.

Even if it would make their 1960s counterparts roll their eyes, they have to "know if there's a spark" physically before they commit to any kind of label. While some people frame this behavior as "problematic," in many ways, it gives people their time and power back. It gives them a chance to seek out pleasure without guilt and craft relationships that feel stable before completely committing to them.

8. Some kind of digital connection

single man forming a digital connection with potential dates Dean Drobot | Shutterstock

While dating in the 1960s was somewhat public, like meeting for the first time in a public space or needing to take a call in front of the whole family on the shared landline, today it's much different. From dating apps online to texting at all hours of the day from the privacy of your phone, there's a certain level of online standards that many single men have today.

Especially considering many young men are building connections with people almost exclusively from their phones before meeting in person or planning a date, it's not surprising that having a connection digitally is one of the first things they look for, even if it would make someone from the 1960s roll their eyes.

9. Flexibility with roles

single man watering plants with woman on date Miljan Zivkovic | Shutterstock

While experts like psychotherapist Avrum Weiss argue that gendered roles have changed most noticeably in workplaces, rather than at home in relationships, for men and women, there are certainly some things that have shifted in the last several decades.

For example, there's slightly more flexibility with traditionally "masculine" roles. Men have more space to be open, vulnerable, and flexible with their roles in relationships than many did in the 1960s. They aren't immediately thrown into specific roles as many men felt a few decades ago, so it's not surprising that single men often cling to standards of flexibility today.

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10. Honesty about intentions

single man expecting honesty about intentions from his date HIV in view | Shutterstock

While "dating" was seen as a committed relationship for people in the 1960s, and courtship always had the intention of a serious relationship at the end of it, dating expectations and standards are much different today. From "situationships" to flings, single men today expect to know the relationship intention of someone before they continue to see them.

Just because they go out on a "date," text all the time, or share intimate moments together doesn't necessarily mean that they want to be in a long-term relationship, which is why clarity around intentions is so important, especially for single people.

11. Freedom of choice

single man on a date but having the freedom of choice with potential mates GaudiLab | Shutterstock

With so many online alternatives for dating today and the illusion of endless "options" to pick from, it's not surprising that single men today have standards around choice that would make people in the 1960s roll their eyes. They want the freedom of choice. They want to have a few options to pick from, or to avoid commitment entirely to figure out "what they're looking for."

It's this kind of approach to dating that's entirely changed from traditional norms, and while it can be empowering for people who aren't interested in "settling down" right away, it can sometimes isolate people from learning to love a partner they initially overlooked.

Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.