Men Who Get Even Closer To Their Wives As They Get Older Usually Have These 11 Reasons
They're committed to each other and the relationship as a whole.
stockfour | Shutterstock There are a number of things that affect partner well-being and closeness in long-term relationships, from emotional dynamics between partners, to the quality of conversations and communication, and even affection and physical touch. Especially as people get older, gain life experience, and develop their own personal identities and self-esteem, it's no surprise that their relationships require new work and rituals.
That's part of the reason why some people grow apart, but not always. Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older usually have these reasons — they lean into learning about their partner as they evolve, practicing new rituals and behaviors, and even committing to evolving their own needs to show up better in a marriage. They understand that no matter how long they've been with their partner, there are certain practices and behaviors that never go away.
Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older usually have these 11 reasons
1. There's a shared history
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
Experts like psychology professor Gary W. Lewandowski argue that longevity alone isn't the sole determinant of relationship health for long-term marriages; it's actually the life experience, memories, and adversity they navigate together that are most impactful for partner well-being, trust, and closeness.
Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older may simply be fueled by shared history and life experiences. They've navigated hardship, learned more about each other, and built a more personal sense of self-esteem that's allowed them to lean into the relationship and show up as their best selves.
2. Their ego has shrunk
oneinchpunch | Shutterstock
According to author and relationship expert Dr. Steven Stosny, big egos can negatively affect long-term relationships — eroding trust, negatively affecting partner well-being, and sparking resentment. People with big egos are self-righteous, entitled, and quick to rely on insults and emotional manipulation when their feelings are hurt — all things that negatively affect relationships and spark disconnection between partners.
For a man who struggled with egocentric behaviors early in life, a change in self-worth and self-esteem can shrink their ego, leading to more empathetic and compassionate relationships later in life. Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older usually have these reasons: they're no longer looking to protect themselves from vulnerability, shame, or embarrassment, and instead leaning into closeness, honesty, and trust.
3. They're more self-confident
simona pilolla 2 | Shutterstock
According to a study from Psychological Science, many people derive self-esteem from their relationships. While it's not necessarily healthy to place your entire sense of self-esteem or identity in the hands of a partner, building a connection and long-term marriage with someone can invariably boost your feelings of self-worth.
Alongside the natural progression of self-esteem with age, this is part of the reason why men tend to get closer with their wives as they get older. They're not only more confident in expressing themselves, their emotions, and their needs — they're self-assured, never seeking attention or validation from their relationships in misguided and toxic ways.
4. They know how to support their partner
MDV Edwards | Shutterstock
Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older may just feel more comfortable with how to show up. Whether it's knowing how to emotionally support her when things get rough, what to give her on a holiday, or how to urge her to open up when she's avoidant, men in healthy relationships know their partners — and know how to be there for them, even if they don't themselves.
Of course, this comes with open communication habits, honesty, trust, and life experience. You can't expect people to read your mind or guess what you need all the time, but as partners get closer, they become better at reading behavior and trusting their gut.
5. They have healthy communication rituals
Olena Yakobchuk | Shutterstock
Whether it's a scheduled check-in at the end of every day or a vulnerability ritual where both partners can express their needs and desires, healthy communication on a regular basis tends to positively influence couples, both individually and within their relationships.
Communication not only builds trust between partners, it also helps each person to feel valued and heard in important ways. Whether they're in a "honeymoon phase" or a rough patch, they have the tools and foundation to lean on each other, communicating about how to deal with whatever they're going through and how to move forward together.
6. They have a strong foundation of respect
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
According to a study from International Psychogeriatrics, the accumulation of wisdom tends to positively benefit mutual respect in relationships. Essentially, as couples grow older and evolve together, their life experience and adversity can positively influence their levels of shared respect and responsibility.
Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older prioritize this level of mutual respect. They don't have to worry about breaking up over arguments, eroding trust by speaking their mind, or feeling unsupported by their partner when they need help.
7. They've been through a lot
Monkey Business Images | Shutterstock
Facing hardship and experiencing adversity tends to build resilience, giving people the tools and mentalities they need to thrive in their personal, professional, and social lives. However, being in a healthy relationship and having strong social support also helps to mediate adversity later in life, according to a study from the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
So, as couples navigate life and experience adversity together, they're not only more likely to boast better individual health and well-being, their relationship also evolves and deepens.
8. They're more comfortable with vulnerability
Perfect Wave | Shutterstock
Many men struggle with vulnerability from a young age — taught that their masculinity is dependent on their self-sufficiency, lack of emotional depth, and superiority. Not only does this struggle tend to negatively affect their mental health and promote loneliness, it can negatively affect healthy relationships and erode trust in connections.
However, as they get older, get into healthy relationships, and build self-esteem — in ways that naturally come with age and life experience — they're more comfortable with vulnerability and expressing their emotions in an open way.
This newness and openness tends to bond them with their partners on a deeper level — a level they struggled to tap into early on, fueled by misguided views about masculinity and emotional expression.
9. Their romance and intimacy has evolved
Gigi Delgado | Shutterstock
As couples get older, navigate new life stages, and build new routines on top of other family, work, and personal responsibilities, intimacy can be challenged quickly. According to a study from the University of San Diego State, practicing and maintaining intimacy looks different for everyone, but oftentimes revolves around a few main practices: connection and communication, choice and intention, acceptance of growth and change, and supporting goals and needs.
Men who get even closer to their wives as they get older usually have new ways of prioritizing intimacy in their relationships. Whether it's carving out quality time amid chaotic routines, making compromises to ensure each partner is supported, or having scheduled conversations, they understand that intimacy and romance is a practice that needs to be regularly checked up on and cultivated.
10. They still share the same values
Ground Picture | Shutterstock
According to a study from Utah State University, couples with shared values tend to boast better marital happiness and well-being than those who don't, which is why making an effort to communicate needs and learn your partner is just as important in late-stage relationships as new ones.
Of course, these conversations will evolve and look different for every couple, but men who get even closer to their wives as they get older usually have these reasons — they make a strong effort and carve out space to communicate openly about what they value and believe.
11. They've rediscovered each other
pics five | Shutterstock
Especially later in life, when couples with kids become "empty nesters" and navigate the challenges associated with aging, it's common for people to drift apart. They have new priorities, time, and values, some of which don't always align with their current partner.
However, men who get closer to their wives as they get older may rediscover their partner in this new identity — making an effort to learn about how they've changed, express their new needs, and form an evolved routine that supports both partners' health and well-being.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
