Marriages With These 9 Rare Traits Are Scientifically Proven To Last, According To Research
How to keep your marriage happy forever, according to science.
Andrean Lim | Canva We all dream of living happily ever after in marriage with the love of our life. According to research from The Knot, approximately 15,000 weddings were held in the US in 2021, with the average wedding costing around $34,000.
When you talk about marriage as an ideal, many people think about the wedding rather than the long and, often, challenging years of married life. So, how do you know if your "I do" will grow into a happy, healthy marriage that can withstand the test of time?
No married couple can be consistently happy during every moment of their lifetime, of course. Every marriage has seven stages: passion, realization, rebellion, cooperation, reunion, explosion, and completion. Those in a bad marriage will not make it through all intact.
That said, the three most important parts of marriage are communication, love and affection, and commitment. You'll know your marriage is healthy if you feel solid in those three key areas.
When communication breaks down and resentment starts to brew between the two of you, that's a sign of a failing marriage. There are research-backed ways to tell if your marriage is on the right track.
Marriages with these nine rare traits are scientifically proven to last, according to research:
1. You had an extravagant wedding celebration
Research shows that couples who elope are 12.5 times more likely to get divorced than couples who had more than 200 people at their wedding. So, if you had a large wedding with plenty of guests, that might be a sign that you're in a long-lasting marriage.
2. You're both financially stable
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According to the same study, married couples are 51% less likely to divorce if their combined income equals $125,000 or more per year. While money cannot buy love, it helps couples avoid many financial disputes in their relationships. These financial disputes can sometimes spin out of control and result in divorce.
3. You're open with each other
Opening your heart and exposing your vulnerabilities in a relationship is tough. But it helps you learn more about each other and builds a strong emotional connection, a must-have for every good marriage.
If you and your partner are comfortable with each other and can talk openly, then it is a sign that your marriage can last for a very long time.
4. You focus on the good instead of the bad
Thinking negative thoughts about your partner causes you to focus on their downfalls and shortcomings. But nobody is perfect.
When you think about your partner positively, you shift your focus to your partner's good qualities. This makes things much easier and contributes to a long-lasting marriage.
5. You dated for a long time before marrying
One study suggests that couples who dated for at least three years before becoming husband and wife are 50% less likely to get a divorce. Time spent together before marriage allows a couple to get to know each other and for an adequate amount of life planning to occur.
6. You went on a honeymoon
The research first mentioned above also tells us that couples who go on a honeymoon directly after they get married are 41% less likely to get divorced. The honeymoon helps the couple release all of the built-up stress that accumulated while planning the wedding, allowing the couple to reconnect and start the marriage off on the right foot.
7. You don't care about the superficial
Some people consider looks and wealth important factors when they choose a partner. The research also suggests that couples who focus more on inner beauty than on outer looks are less likely to divorce.
Speaking with The Independent, study author Hugo M. Mialon stated, "Reporting that one's partner's looks were important in the decision to marry is significantly associated with shorter marriage duration."
8. You understand each other's love languages
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Reserach from The Association for Psychological Science suggests that how couples communicate often predicts the success rate of their relationship and marriage.
When two individuals are in a relationship for a long time, they start to pick up on each other's habits and even start to speak the same "language." They also learn each other's unique love language. This makes spending many years together a much more pleasant experience.
9. You fight fair
Fighting is natural for a couple, married or not. Conflicts will come up that need resolution. Certain unhelpful communication styles (known as the Four Horsemen of the Relationship Apocalypse, coined by renowned American psychologist John Gottman) used during fighting can doom a marriage.
When fighting in a relationship is fair and both parties focus on the specific conflict instead of screaming and talking down to each other, it's a sign of a happy marriage that will last.
Thousands of people get married every single day. Many of these marriages end up in divorce. Analyzing your relationship can be a great way to get a clear picture of the current health and status of your "happy marriage."
The nine signs above offer visible evidence of good relationships. So, if your relationship exhibits any one of them, then you and the love of your life really may end up living happily ever after. Congratulations!
Donna Begg is an expert editor, researcher, and analyst affiliated with Consumer Health Digest, where she works with beauty and health experts.
