Men Stop Showing Interest In Wives Who Do These 11 Things Without Realizing
Not being cognizant of your behavior can cost you a marriage.
AYO Production | Shutterstock Marriage is a beautiful journey filled with its fair share of ups and downs. Whether it's petty arguments or accomplishing milestones together, marriage is a continuous cycle of succeeding and failing. Unfortunately, the way a wife acts can deeply impact her husband, and with certain behaviors, men stop showing interest in wives who do these things without realizing it.
It should go without saying that marriage requires teamwork. Not just with washing the dishes, but during the moments that couples don't think about. And while many women understand that their actions can dictate the course of the marriage, others cling to their toxic behaviors, ruining their marriage as a result.
Men stop showing interest in wives who do these 11 things without realizing
1. Constantly criticizing him
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Men stop showing interest in wives who constantly criticize them without realizing it. Yes, husbands can drive a wife insane without meaning to. From forgetting to take out the trash to leaving their socks on the floor, women get fed up with their behavior over time.
However, nobody is perfect. While some people aren't the most organized, others have a nasty habit of being forgetful. So, while a wife's frustration is understandable, she must ask herself one question: "What flaws am I willing to put up with?" Besides forgetting the trash, does he show up in other ways, or is he constantly leaving, treating her like a maid?
As Bret Lyon and Sheila Rubin, co-founders of the Center for Healing Shame, said, "Nobody is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes. We are all limited human beings." So, even if it's difficult, if a wife wants to make a marriage work, she should stop with the constant criticisms.
2. Talking down to him
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When couples hit a breaking point, what once was shared laughter and encouraging words turns into a build-up of resentment. And while wives don't want to end their marriage, men stop showing interest in wives who talk down to them without realizing it.
In no world is it ever acceptable to talk down on a partner. No matter how much they frustrate women, any sort of harmful language shouldn't be tolerated in a relationship. Not only is it toxic, but talking down to him can absolutely ruin his self-esteem.
Couples should seek professional help when they notice these toxic behaviors emerging. Even if it's uncomfortable or expensive, paying for a divorce attorney is equally as costly.
3. Not showing affection
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When most people think of affection, they might think of physical intimacy or kissing. However, in marriage, affection is so much more than surface-level touch. From hugging to stroking their partner's hair, the small things matter, so men stop showing interest in wives who lack affection.
For wives, it's understandable as to why they don't always show their husband affection. Whether it's their job or taking care of the kids, women are stretched thin. Even so, if they want to make a marriage work, they need to realize when their partner is starved of affection.
According to couples therapist Kyle Benson, to make a marriage work, "That 'magic ratio' is 5 to 1. This means that for every negative interaction during conflict, a stable and happy marriage has five (or more) positive interactions." While women might not think much of these changes, men do. They might not say it, but their wives' gentle words and hugs mean everything.
4. Shutting down communication
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When a woman is done, there's not much conversation to be had. After spending years doing her best to keep her marriage alive, when she stonewalls and completely abandons her husband, that's when the marriage comes to an end. And as much as it's her fault for shutting the conversation down, none of this springs out of nowhere.
Even if men don't want to admit it, as soon as they make a woman feel unsafe to express herself, they can kiss their marriage goodbye. So, if couples want to avoid this pitfall, two things must happen: men must be willing to change and become more understanding, and women must be willing to sit down and discuss their emotions. While this is easier said than done, no couple can expect change without actively pushing for change in the first place.
5. Comparing him to other men
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Nobody wants to be compared to other people, especially by their own partner. Whether it's a fictional character or a famous celebrity, men stop showing interest in wives who compare them to other men, usually without realizing they're causing harm.
It isn't a matter of insecurity if a man says he doesn't want to be compared. In the same way women don't want to be compared to Victoria's Secret models, men don't want to be compared to the most attractive actor currently in the headlines. It isn't just because it's unrealistic; rather, it's because drawing upwards comparisons stings.
According to a 2022 study, upward comparisons have been linked to low self-esteem and depression. If wives find themselves doing this, it's best to stop. Even if husbands don't say anything, it doesn't stop it from hurting any less.
6. Refusing to apologize
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Men stop showing interest in wives who refuse to apologize. Nobody wants to admit they were wrong, but in a world where everyone is flawed and bound to make mistakes, sometimes, apologizing is a must. Setting aside pride and admitting wrongdoings is just another part of everyday life.
That being said, there's no denying that some women are stubborn. Maybe it's because they refuse to see the error of their ways, but some wives allow their pride to dictate what's right or wrong. Because of this, they'll argue in circles and convince their husbands they are wrong, even if that isn't really the case.
While this may work the first few times, wives should be wary. Eventually, husbands will grow tired of always being seen as the bad guy, causing irreparable damage to the marriage.
7. Trying to 'fix' him
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No matter how hard wives fall for the potential of a man, if a man is determined to remain the same, there's nothing she can do but accept him as he is, or leave. Still, many women are convinced of their ability to change a man.
While there are some things men can change, other things are bound to remain the same. From annoying habits to refusing to do anything with his life, some things just aren't worth trying to fix. As psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen explained, "More often than not, attempts to force change lead to pushback... The discomfort we feel in these moments is often driven by anxiety, not only about the issue at hand but also about our inability to control it."
8. Keeping score
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No matter how hard couples try to fix it, toxic behavior isn't easy to change. The brain isn't keen on changing after spending years repeating the same patterns over and over again. So, while some couples can work through this toxicity and turn things around, when wives keep score, men stop showing interest in them.
Regardless of why she does it, it doesn't change the fact that keeping a score of every single thing her husband did wrong will end in disaster. Even if he doesn't outright show his resentment, she shouldn't mistake his silence for compliance. Eventually, he'll grow tired and end the marriage without thinking twice.
As much as he may love his wife, the constant attacks, reminders, and petty arguments can break down even the strongest people. If a wife truly wants to keep her marriage alive, never keep score. Even if she's frustrated, this can cause more problems than it's worth.
9. Always being on her phone
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Social media has a firm hold on almost everyone, and most people just can't seem to stay off their phones. Despite this being a multi-layer issue, it doesn't change the fact that men stop showing interest in wives who are always on their phones, neglecting their quality time or letting it come between them in one way or another.
After spending hours apart, it's only natural that men want to spend time with their wives. According to psychology professor Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., "Prioritizing one's relationship for just 4 hours a week can produce benefits... There are 168 hours in a week and your relationship deserves at least 4 of them — non-negotiable, dedicated time, committed to you and your partner. You can spend those 4 hours on anything that benefits your relationship or builds your connection with your partner."
10. Escalating small issues
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Women aren't trying to start drama when they take an issue seriously. Even if men don't see the point in sitting down and having a full-fledged conversation about a minor issue, it doesn't mean their partner feels the same way. As frustrating as it may be, what's minor to one person can mean a great deal to another.
Most men don't like the idea of drama, so when their wives escalate the smallest of issues, it can build resentment over time, causing the relationship to grow more and more unbearable for him.
While their concerns may be valid, women must ask themselves: "Is this truly something worth arguing about? Where will it get us?" While it might be tempting to go all out, wives should take a step back and ask these questions to better determine if this is truly worth the effort or not.
11. Trying to control everything
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In marriage, there's a need to compromise. From small choices to bigger decisions, both partners should have a say in what they decide to do as a team. Unfortunately, some women try to control everything.
Whether it's the color of the couch or where they decide to move to, some wives refuse to allow their husbands to have a say. And while they might not think much of it now, eventually, their behavior is bound to catch up to them.
As licensed clinical social worker Robert Taibbi explained, "Good relationships are about balance, where both partners feel they have an equal voice and can reach a mutual compromise if there is a disagreement."
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
